Respect the Pain and the Past of Others

So... this was actually the blog that I felt most compelled to write, earlier.  But, it is less rosey and is something I am working on in myself, as well.  But, as I am watching the end of the new Bridgerton episodes, I find myself drawn to complete the blog.  So, here it is.

We all carry around pains and challenges from our past.  In some cases, those pains can transition, so you are able to carry them in another way.  However, I do not believe that they ever truly go away.  I do believe that wounds between people can heal in a way that reconciliation can happen, even if that reconciliation is different than before.  But, I believe that it is only possible by respect for the wounds of the past and in such way that they are not repeated.

Lately, I have shown some liking of a show of a comedian that acknowledges some of the same cynicism that I have of organized religion.  And, I will do my best not to bring that cynicism to this blog post, but it is important to note that this cynicism is not recent and is long standing, based upon a long list of mistreatment and neglect by those in religious positions or those who were religious.  Again, I want to emphasize that it is not recent, even if it can affect my perception of those that are religious.  I do not want to allow my past to characterize those that are religious, today.. even when I see similarities or further things happen to irritate that scab from the past.  I can and have tried to ignore it and be overly optimistic, but that would not be real and based upon enough evidence to overcome that past.. not yet.  And, there are many such examples of contemporary religious hypocrisy and judgment out there in the world, so it is not something that is imagined in my mind.

I only say that to say this.  I have a past with religion that should be respected by someone that would care for me, just as they should respect my past with past emotional wounds... religious or otherwise, even as I should also be someone that respects that in others.  There is no.. well, they just need to hurry up and heal.. ever.  Wounds change you, and the person that exits on the other side is not the same as the one that entered.  It is not possible to just pretend that that never happened.

So, this difficult blog post is only here to say this.  If you care for someone, you will respect their full nature.. you will love the person that exited the wounds, not giving an expectation that they will return to being without them.  If they are dark or hardened, the cure is not for them to suddenly be rich of hope and to be able to be like you.  Care for them is to care for their darkness, or you never really cared for them... themselves.. at all.