Reclaim Your Swagger

There is a scene in a movie that I usually watch every year in the fall but didn't this last fall (Serendipity) and a scene in it that I have quoted in various blogs over the years.  That was when Jonathan's friend quotes Epictetus to him that said if you want to improve you must be content to be thought footish and stupid and that he was out there doing it and making it happen.  That isn't the part that I want to use for this blog post, though it is entirely true.  Then the friend tells him, "You're the sht".. and Jonathan notes to a nearby stranger that heard it, "That's me.. the sht."

Lately, as I have focused on what I like about me and as I improve myself and fell in love with myself, I have felt really good and happy without needing anyone's approval to be so.  My smile came not from external validation but from internal resonance with my own soul, which only drove me to become more and more myself.  But, I noticed something on my walks and when I am walking at work and other places.  I notice that my head is up and my back is vertical.  Now, I know that is how you are supposed to be walking and should not slouch, but that is not my point.  For a long time, as I walked I would be looking down, sometimes in thought or down or unsure.  But, now, I'm walking around like I deserve to be there.. which.. of course.. I do.

Reflecting on this reminds me of my gunnery sergeant in the Army who used to say, "What are you looking at your feet for.  There isn't any shrapnel down there."  He was a good man and helped me to win soldier of the month, once month.  But, the point is very valid.  You should be proud of yourself.  You have a lot to offer, and no one is going to be able to see that if you are always down about mistakes or feeling inadequate for those that are not qualified or capable to appreciate you. So... reclaim your swagger.  As Adam Lambert once sung, STRUT.

Now, I am not saying that you should ignore your mistakes or not find ways to improve.  I do that every day.  I'm also not going to say that the things of the past that weighs on you will suddenly go away or change.  That isn't the point.  If you ware waiting for everything to feel and be perfect to start to shine, you will remain that way, forever.  There is a time to pull away and  feel and learn and process, and I will not rob you of your pain.  It will do much.  But, as that healing begins to take hold and you begin to realize that maybe you weren't all bad but just not right for someone, or someone wasn't able to appreciate how good you are, you have to take a step back and look at yourself and your progress and say.... that's me.  I'm the sht.  Because, well, you are to the right people, first of who is yourself.