Can You See Me In The Dark

I was going to do this post, tonight, BEFORE I saw that the new trailer for Good Omens 3 is out, but that just caps it off.  I love that series, and I am looking forward to seeing it in May.  It will be a short season.. one long series finale, but it is a good story.

If you have been a long viewer of this blog, you will know that I have from time to time done post series about the value of the dark.  Today, I saw a video from Lili Reinhart who I knew from and loved in Riverdale doing a video in which she said if she was a celestial being and was asked if she wanted to come to earth for a brief stay... just a blip.. and be able to experience human emotions.. love, heartbreak, and all of it.. would she want to go, and she smiled and said yes.  She said that when she is struggling, she keeps grounded by knowing that even pain is beautiful in its own way.  It reminded me of those post series that I have done about the beauty or the value of darkness in life.  In fact, I have spent YEARS contemplating that at times, which is why I choose to feel it all.. experience it all... live it all, and I don't regret any of it.  There is nothing that is good or bad in total, and there is benefit in experiencing all of it.

You might ask how I can value darkness.  I would answer that it is in the same way that God values darkness and pain.  He made us to experience those things.  He didn't have to do that.  And, despite the fact that much theology in various organizations likes to value being "blessed" or always having things feel good, that is not actually theologically correct.  God used the devil to test Job... supposedly after the fall, and the "devil" has continued to serve a purpose in God's plan and in Scripture, throughout the pages and in life.  How many passages talk about how those whom God loves he tests and that the testing produces perseverance... even as the Bible says that God cannot, Himself, test anyone with evil.  

It is not just a case of evil coming to try to tempt people away from following or believing in God, but it is also to temper and strengthen and grow, as anyone that does fitness for long knows that it is painful and hard as hell (word choice intentional) but is necessary to grow to become the best that we can be.

The problem is that in our society, those that are under pressure and struggle are often cast aside by those that don't want to even SEE that life is not as beautiful as they want it to be.  Yet... that's where Jesus lived his days.  That's why Scripture says that in the darkest place "God is there," though many of God's followers would never even be able to see Him...or us.. doing good where they can never go.

And, that is one reason why I continued and continue to say that I would much rather be condemned and cast out than live a sheltered life, because that's where all the other hurting humans would happen to be.  And, I don't need validation to actually do good and love.  If that's what you are after.. please.... stay inside the church walls.  You will get your reward. 

Pace Yourself

Perhaps, it comes with age... after the Cynical 40s, you gain a wider perspective of existence. But, you also learn to get less stressed over everything happening RIGHT NOW. Why? You've seen a LOT of right now's over life, and you're still standing.

I don't say that to say it's not worthy of addressing or action. What I'm saying in this post is really two things.

1. Live your life. If you postpone your happiness to deal with this "crisis" or the next, you'll find yourself far into your life story, realizing you've missed a lot of it. There is a song in my most recent playlist called Birds Still Sing that says...

"Birds still sing on bad days
Flowers grow around graves
Not everyone stays but the real ones do
Our moon moves in phases
So give yourself a little grace
And if you look close where the cracks meet
We're still blooming in concrete" Taylor Acorn

The point being, you can still have good and prosperity IN the middle of struggle and problems... and you SHOULD because problems we have many.

2.  Pace yourself.  There will be struggle in the future, just as with the past.  Make a contribution, live your life, rise up in action, read a book, stand for the helpless, listen to music.  Alternate.  Don't burn out.  Don't let your convictions steal your life.

I just felt that needs to be said, by one that has let it all consume me, too often.

Labor Pains

I've used this labor analogy several times over the years, but it's worth repeating.  When you set out to increase yourself or better yourself, you will be met with an opposing force.  In Serendipity, a character quotes Epictetus saying, "If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."  That's generally how it goes, and many will reject you for being so selfish to think about yourself.  But, there will be other more spiritual opposition that you will face.

Witches believe in the balance of the spiritual, long before Star Wars invented Jedis.  That's why you always see sacrifice before good in their spells.  Even the very good show Once Upon a Time repeatedly said that magic comes "with a cost" and good things came with negative ones.  It's why witches are so quick to suggest putting away anger rather than using magic to harm someone.  I think there's room for it, if it is more defensive, but that's what they believe, despite the stereotype that they want to curse you and eat your children.

But, it's true that seeking more comes after struggle.  A child is born after many months of pains that cumulate into a very intense struggle, right before you see the child born into the world.  Women parents understand that struggle is a part of gaining, because they lived it with a child.  Single men and women understand it from having to work for money or exercise for fitness.  If you want good, be prepared for evil.  The two always go together, and anyone that wants to skip the evil will lack the good.  

I'll end with a quote before I go exercise before a half day of work on Sunday as I increase myself by my various forms of labor.  I wish you all effective use of your struggling, today as well.

"You never plow a field by turning it over in your mind." Irish Proverb 

Responsibility and Consequences

 There is an exchange in Beautiful Creatures that I think is a great way to lead off this post.  I'm going to try to get the quote right, because I don't have the movie in front of me and can't find the quote online...

Ethan: You don't have anything to do with the devil, do you?

Lena: That is such a mortal thing to say.

Ethan: There is evil, Lena.

Lena: Of course there is evil casters.  The difference is we didn't create a devil to blame for it.

Does the devil exist?  Personally, I think so, albeit probably not much like is portrayed in the tradition of men.  But, the question is valid, because no one has ever seen the devil in a physical form.  You'd think so with all the way most churches today are singing about waging war on Satan and his followers.

First of all, it wouldn't make sense demons "follow" anyone.. if they rejected God by tradition, why would they follow someone projected to be worse?  But, I digress.

So, where do we SEE the acts of the devil that is condemned?  We see it in the acts of men and women.  They don't want to accept the responsibility or consequences of their actions, so they say, "the devil made me do it."  Then, they claim the blood of the god they killed to be clean to start all over again.  It reminds me of the words of a popular revivalists preacher I saw back in my religious days that pointed this out, saying, "The devil doesn't have your pocketbook. (Wallet)"

No one is good... so says scripture.  It also says that the evil we "fight" is our own "flesh"... it's us, according to the Bible.  But, that's not a popular message in our self centered world.  No... in today's world, I want what I want, and anything that gets in my way is evil, and I must "fight" the devil in the form of anyone that disagrees... why you always hear about spiritual battles near the time of elections, like now.  Let's not forget Pat Robertson was a Republican candidate for President, once.

In my more recent years, I've taken a more logical and objective course.  I analyze everything by facts and am first to admit when the facts point out my errors in judgment or actions, primarily because how can you correct without admitting something doesn't work.  Others will keep looking for the devil and evil, and I'm sure there are many that see that evil in me  despite my not doing anything actually against them but just living my life... when in reality they forget I can see their lives and know they are often living lives blacker than my own... but they have Jesus without confession so they are guilt free. Ha.

Regardless, I'd just end this by saying if you actually DO want to improve your life, you'll get there quicker by looking at what of your choices brings "evil" into your presence or others and making wiser choices to have more peaceful and successful days.

Lessons of a Heathen

I've noted this at times over the many years in blog posts, but it is worth noting again as I go through the educational process, again.

I'm a pretty independent minded person... objective but not judgmental and more self critical than outward.  That tends to put me on the edge of people's comfort zone... on most sides and opinions.  It's not a new reality, and I've come to be ok with it.  In fact, sometimes I like challenging the status quo, just because it needs challenging to promote discussion and defend the condemned, way more often than a single prostitute being stoned... and I don't just draw in the dirt when I do it.  That tends to give me lots of alone time for self evaluation and an independent foundation.  But, it also gives me freedom and peace and liberty to delve into necessary self criticism that many others don't have.

Having comes with a fear of losing.  When you have something or someone, you spend a lot of time focused on being good enough for them or taking care of it, and you can very easily become so distracted that you don't even ask yourself what you want and lose the ability to change, as others expect you to be a certain way... an image for you to maintain.  However, when you lose e everything, you gain yourself in much deeper level.  You can also address personal things that needed addressing like self improvement, change, and even confession... because.. who do you have to impress and what do you have to lose?

It also helps you to understand something that many will not know around you... something they will fight to deny, as well.  The darkness is our friend.  Happy and bright can be blinding, while you find much more clarity and sight when the lights dim.  It is in our struggles that we learn the most about ourselves and the world around us.  Sugar tastes good but makes your body weak.  Comfort can paralyze you.  Rest can make you poor.  It is only when we welcome struggle that we improve.  Indeed, I spent years waiting on God and goodness to come fix all my life without answer, but I have always increased my life in response to tragedy.  Indeed, even the money I have to move and had to afford a used car that saves me money from no car payment came from being hit in my car by someone.  Is God behind evil?  Good question... think about that.  Regardless, there is a purpose for the dark.  It's why it exists in our daily lives and nights, as well.

I don't want to make this too long, but I just wanted to note that if you are going through a struggle and are praying for it to disappear, pause for a moment.  See if it can teach you anything or if you have any changes that it may be prompting ... or reveal things in others that you don't want to see.  Consider how you can improve your life or what it may be showing you that you desire.  Then, when you have gained all you can from it, thank the dark for what it taught you and let it go.  Look and move forward, as as more mature and complete person and smile as you shine your own light in your own way to guide your path that lay ahead.

I don't have a lot of success in my life to teach you how to achieve, but what I do have... a lot... is lessons on how to keep going and rise up when it kicks you down, and that was the original purpose of this blog.  I will continue to be a journal of the journey that most don't want to consider, so it can help you when all others have walked away.  I hope it helps you not to escape your darkness but to learn to love yourself and others within it.

Knowledge of Good and Evil

Why do we have an assumption that "good" is pleasant?  Why do we define a good day or a good year or such as something where everything goes our way?  We rightly are aware of those that would just use us for themselves and seek liberty from the control of others to be able to live our own lives, but as a society we have for thousands of years defined the very definition of good to be based upon our own desired outcomes.  I have come to realize over the last years, especially, that much of what we decide is evil is either for our own good or is good, itself, for the changes and growth that it creates within us.  Even when something is bad and sad in truth, it leaves us changed and matured for the better, often.  But, since traditions are passed down from generation to generation, the story is written or told to be that good is what we desire, and evil is what we do not, even if that is not necessarily objectively the story that has happened or even what prior generations wanted us to learn.

In my life, I have had a lot of struggles and things happening that I did not want to happen.  I have had others abandon me, and I have learned that I had to overcome much on my own... to rise when I fell, even when I didn't want to do so.  I'm not alone.  I believe that given enough time that everyone will learn this in varying degrees.  Why?   It is a truth.  

Imagine that you wanted to prepare your kid for success in this life.  Would you want to tell them to always believe in the best of others and rely upon others only to be hurt over and over again?  Or, do you want to prepare them for what society REALLY looks like, so they can navigate life with wisdom to prosper?  I am reminded of the movie The Village where a group of counselors created a society and didn't tell the kids born into it the truth but gave them horror stories about monsters on the outside to keep them inside, where it is safe.  As such, they became unprepared for the simplest of challenges that presented themselves and horrors that can be found within, as well.

So, returning to my point, above.  Is GOOD having no challenges, or is good found in the trials and struggles that educate us.  I made a comment on my social media some weeks back where I said that while I don't think it justifies a god to do it that being forced to experience evil can cause us to grow and take the steering wheel to create the kind of life that we want to have.  At the time, I said that the only way that you can justify it is to say that the devil is working for God, since the "evil" done to us causes us to become a more mature person and for us to create our own lives and more around us.  There might be some truth to this, and I think it is actually found in the Bible written by men trying to convey truths.

The earliest book of the Bible that was written, according to dating and tradition, is the book of Job.  In that book, the devil comes walking right into God's presence without restriction or binding.  He discusses Job with God, and then God has the devil strike down Job with sickness and poverty.  Society has deemed this as a trial that Job had to overcome... but .. was it?

Recall that in the Garden of Eden that the tree of whose fruit was eaten by man in the first "fall" was the fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  The tree was present... in the perfect garden that was made by God.  It was honored and protected, in fact.  Then, mankind was... punished, as described by many churches, today... by being given work for men and childbirth pains by women.  Of course this is all analogy, but what were they trying to teach?  Is work bad?  Is childbirth bad?  No.  But, those things that bring us good came with discomfort and struggle.  It was the beginning of the lesson of the tree... and it was GOOD.

We all must struggle.  I know that it always feels personal.  We feel that our lives are cursed and not as good as others.  However, over my life, I have heard people of all backgrounds and levels say that they are struggling over this or that.  So, my life wasn't abnormal to face struggle.  It was normal.. It was prescribed.  It's not always the same level of struggle, and more of us have more struggle than others.  But, that means we are more educated and wise.

Then, after we experience people letting us down, we learn to stand on our own.  When plans fall through, we learn to be prepared for unexpected changes.  When our dreams are shattered, we learn to be more realistic.  And, when we lack, we learn to create.  We are gods of our own lives, and that is the divine plan... much like the independence we want for our own children to thrive without us.  We create good by acting with intention, or we create bad by resignation, fear, and bitterness.

Also, as we learn to stand on our own, we will face judgment by others for doing it.  This too is educational, as it teaches us to stop caring about the judgment of others in order to have what we want to have to be happy.  That wouldn't happen if we were content to change whenever someone objected to us in a world free of conflict.  

Life also leads us to a life of being content being isolated.  It's built right into our code.  We do what we like.  Others that don't like those things back off some.  Not everyone wants the same thing, so we learn to accept others for being different and as we differ from one person or another we learn to like things on our own and be ok with that.  We were born single.  We will have many single moments over our lives, even if we are in a relationship.  In fact, it is healthy to have personal time, even in a relationship.  Why?  Being able to stand on your own is a part of the lesson, as well.  It is... GOOD.

So, to return to the initial question.  Why do we have the assumption that "good" is pleasant?  It is because we define good and evil in terms of what we desire instead of what will grow us as a person and make positive changes in our lives prompted by loss and discontent.  And, that definition will often be the very thing that will stop us from finding the happiness that can lie in the freedom of the journey and the growth and changes in our lives that we will find along the way.