Lessons of a Heathen

I've noted this at times over the many years in blog posts, but it is worth noting again as I go through the educational process, again.

I'm a pretty independent minded person... objective but not judgmental and more self critical than outward.  That tends to put me on the edge of people's comfort zone... on most sides and opinions.  It's not a new reality, and I've come to be ok with it.  In fact, sometimes I like challenging the status quo, just because it needs challenging to promote discussion and defend the condemned, way more often than a single prostitute being stoned... and I don't just draw in the dirt when I do it.  That tends to give me lots of alone time for self evaluation and an independent foundation.  But, it also gives me freedom and peace and liberty to delve into necessary self criticism that many others don't have.

Having comes with a fear of losing.  When you have something or someone, you spend a lot of time focused on being good enough for them or taking care of it, and you can very easily become so distracted that you don't even ask yourself what you want and lose the ability to change, as others expect you to be a certain way... an image for you to maintain.  However, when you lose e everything, you gain yourself in much deeper level.  You can also address personal things that needed addressing like self improvement, change, and even confession... because.. who do you have to impress and what do you have to lose?

It also helps you to understand something that many will not know around you... something they will fight to deny, as well.  The darkness is our friend.  Happy and bright can be blinding, while you find much more clarity and sight when the lights dim.  It is in our struggles that we learn the most about ourselves and the world around us.  Sugar tastes good but makes your body weak.  Comfort can paralyze you.  Rest can make you poor.  It is only when we welcome struggle that we improve.  Indeed, I spent years waiting on God and goodness to come fix all my life without answer, but I have always increased my life in response to tragedy.  Indeed, even the money I have to move and had to afford a used car that saves me money from no car payment came from being hit in my car by someone.  Is God behind evil?  Good question... think about that.  Regardless, there is a purpose for the dark.  It's why it exists in our daily lives and nights, as well.

I don't want to make this too long, but I just wanted to note that if you are going through a struggle and are praying for it to disappear, pause for a moment.  See if it can teach you anything or if you have any changes that it may be prompting ... or reveal things in others that you don't want to see.  Consider how you can improve your life or what it may be showing you that you desire.  Then, when you have gained all you can from it, thank the dark for what it taught you and let it go.  Look and move forward, as as more mature and complete person and smile as you shine your own light in your own way to guide your path that lay ahead.

I don't have a lot of success in my life to teach you how to achieve, but what I do have... a lot... is lessons on how to keep going and rise up when it kicks you down, and that was the original purpose of this blog.  I will continue to be a journal of the journey that most don't want to consider, so it can help you when all others have walked away.  I hope it helps you not to escape your darkness but to learn to love yourself and others within it.