Dark Character Lines

I'll lead this off with a quote from Making Money from Terry Pratchett I'm consuming this week...

"'What have you done to that man?' said Moist.

'I have made him a well-balanthed perthonality, no longer bethet with ancthietieth, fearth and the demonth of paranoia,' said Igor.

Moist glanced at Igor's workbench, a brave thing to do by any standards. On it was a jar with something indistinct floating in it. Moist looked closer, another minor act of heroism when you were in an Igor-rich environment.

It was not a happy turnip. It was blotchy. It was bouncing gently from one side of the jar to another, occasionally turning over. 'I see,' said Moist. 'But it would appear, regrettably, that by giving our friend the relaxed and hopeful attitude to life of, not to put too fine a point on it, a turnip, you have also given him the artistic abilities of, and I have no hesitation in using the term again, a turnip.'

'But he ith much happier in himthelf,' said Igor.

'Granted, but how much of himself is, and I really don't wish to keep repeating myself here, of a root-vegetable-like nature?'

Igor considered this for some time. 'Ath a medical man, thur,' he said, 'I mutht conthider what ith betht for the pathient. At the moment he ith happy and content and hath no careth in the world. Why would he give up all thith for a mere fathility with a penthil?'

Moist was aware of an insistent bonk-bonk. It was the turnip banging itself against the side of the jar. 'That is an interesting and philosophical point,' he said, once again looking at Clamp's happy yet somewhat unfocused expression. 'But it seems to me that all those nasty little details were what made him, well, him.' The frantic banging of the vegetable grew louder. Igor and Moist stared from the jar to the eerily smiling man." (Emphasis bold added)

Continuing the point of darkness discussion, it reminds me of things like The Lego Movie song at the beginning Everything is Awesome where they just ignore the bad things to focus.. rather delusionally on a perceived good that ignores real problems.  You see that in lots of other shows and movies, like Brave New World where the society takes positive pills when they feel bad and as such are easily controlled by those in power.

I get it.  Sometimes, life sucks and blocking all that out for a short time from distraction or alcohol or such is therapeutic.  But, it can also keep you from addressing real problems.  Indeed, a mark of an alcoholic is someone so drawn into the Lotus plant like sooth of pleasure that they fail to do things necessary to pay bills or live.

Darkness gives us character... like the dark lines of a sketch gives us distinction.  Often, it's more the dark periods of our lives that give us depth and capacity than periods of ease.  Take away the struggle, and you erase large parts of yourself.

As Eminem sings in Higher, it is those dark times that drive us forward to grow, and I know in my own life it is the struggles of late that give me a purpose in a challenge to overcome and elevate to become the best version of my future I can be.

Dark Light

 It's been an eventful week.  But, it's finally starting to settle down, so I thought it would be a good time to do my next blog post. I was driving from Florida to Tulsa as part of my move and staying in 2 hotels along the way. For most it was uneventful and steady. The last day , however , I began within ten to fifteen minutes of driving of having an overheating radiator.  I drove it to a nearby bait shop in the sparsely populated Arkansas road. The man in the bait shop said I could use in water hose at the back of his store to fill up my radiator. So I filled it up and I drove it to the next town where I bought several gallons of water. 

It wasn't a huge leak.  I was able to drive 60 to 70 miles before I put in another three quarters gallon of water. But it got me all the way The way to tulsa to be able to check in on time at my new residence. 

Then I was able to start figuring out how I was going to fix the car.  Having had to fix the car at all means I could not pay a month's worth of rent at the new place that I was going to be staying so I had to pay at the higher rate weekly rate, which costs five hundred dollars more over the course of a month. So I set about calling different places to fix it. 

A good friend of mine suggested amazon afterpay which allows me to not have to pay for the parts right away at least  and that saved me a lot of money. Then, I had the parts shipped in to a mechanic that I found that was able to do the labor at a cheaper rate. Now. I have my car back, and I'm able to deliver over the weekend And, I was able to sell a laptop and with the money from both of those I should be able to pay for the next couple rents and be completely back on track.

There is a point for me telling all of that as relates to the point of this blog post. During the course of all of this, I did not overstress.  I did not get overwhelmed. I did have to deal with many stressful things and was able to systematically do it logically without getting emotional or anxious over the shortage.  I was able to do that because I have a lot of experience of disappointment and issues that I had to overcome. 

And,  that is the point of this blog... overcoming struggles by experience with disappointment and struggle, as opposed to simply relying upon positive and hope.  There is a question that is asked in some of the surveys that I take that asks about how I react to stressful situations.  Do I fall apart at stressful situations? Or, am I able to process them.  I don't fall apart when negative things happen, because in my mind there's no point to fear. There's no point to worrying over it. Wastes time that could be used figuring out the next solution. 

I have a lot of experience in my life of overcoming things and knowing that I'm able to overcome things I am able to approach things by simply asking...how am I going to overcome this?  

For several months now I have been focusing on the value of darkness or the value of struggle and strengthening us and preparing us and helping us to have the right mentality to be able to approach life. It is precisely because of this that I was able to approach the situation logically and simply thinking about solutions as opposed to feeling depressed or down. Someone that focused solely on the light would not have the capacity to handle and overcome the situation.

So, don't underestimate or undervalue the struggle you face, because it could be the strength you need in the future that you are building.

Life Happens

 

A long time ago, a popular car bumper sticker and T-shirt said, “Sh.t happens”… with all the letters but running a blog, here… ha.  The point was to say that you can’t always control what happens in your life.  That is repeated a lot out there, including a coffee cup I picked up when I worked in the kitchen and home department of a Dillards.  I like it better… LIFE happens, because it’s often the story we all face in varying degrees.  The Bible puts it that the rain falls on the just and the unjust.  We all have struggles, but we don’t have to let them define us… nor rob us of happiness that can be happening at the same time.

I am in the middle of a challenge that hit me, and for a little while I let it define me… rob me.  I mean.. I didn’t completely cut myself off from the outside world, and my time with others helped me escape the bottoms of depression, but I did touch on depression and let it have a bigger hold on me than it should have had.  True.. in the Maslow pyramid of needs, I was hitting base levels, as my very safety and physiological needs of having a place to live was at risk.. I am going to be out of work and do not have a savings to withstand that… haven’t had the ability since the divorce and move down here in the pandemic and restarting my life, rebuying things, dealing with car problems, finding jobs, and etc happened.  Luckily, that is now covered, so I can spend less time in that area of the pyramid and more in things like belonging and love, esteem, and self actualization that needed and needs attention.  But, you can’t think about love and etc freely when you’re worried about base needs.

But, now, I’m turning my attention more to those things.  I will have several weeks to build on those things.  My self esteem definitely needs some work, though I think that will be easier.  I have developed that over years since the divorce, so it’s just a matter of re-inspiration and not letting others define me.  My self of belonging and love is.. I think.. best sourced in friends. If you are trying to find love AND validation or belonging, it is too easy to just go with anyone that makes you feel good about yourself and not what is wise.  I was married over my life twice to two people that didn’t give back romance or express love to me, just because they accepted mine.  I won’t do that, again.  I will be valued by my mate.  I will work to get worthy of their affection, but I won’t be a consolation prize or THEIR self esteem booster.  I will be their prize, or I will be happy being single.

But, moving off love and relationships, happiness in general is not found in waiting till or if everything goes great.  I recently saw a YouTube video of a neurodivergent girl giving a speech, and she said…

“Listen to me.  You have to stop putting conditions on your happiness.  Boo.  Don’t do that.. saying I’m gonna be happy when or I’m gonna be happy if.  That’s dumb.  Don’t do that.  Here’s why.. you’re waiting for a perfect life where you have no flaws and everything in your life is just going well.  Well, let me tell you something.  That’s never gonna happen. Sorry.  You are a human.  That means you have flaws, and your life is gonna have flaws.  Nothing is ever gonna be perfect.. ok?  So, just choose happiness.  Be at peace with your imperfect existence, because that’s all you’re ever gonna have.”

That’s a good way to end this.  Life happens.  But, that doesn’t mean happiness can’t happen with it.