Dark Chronicles Act 17: A "Lazy" Poor Testimony of Care

Despite the fact that I shouldn't have to do this post, it is becoming more and more apparent that I must.  It shouldn't be necessary, because people should have enough sense and experience to see otherwise, but sense seems limited and experience only serves to exclude the wise from the inexperienced's echo chambers.  As such, this must be a Dark Chronicles post, as well.. even though it really should not be.

When it first began to circulate, I thought that it wasn't worth refuting, because I didn't believe that anyone would buy into it.  But, preachers and rich politicians kept repeating the same fallacy... if someone was poor, they were choosing to be poor, because they were lazy.  And, so.. the mythology grew and grew.  Now, we find ourselves in a state of government affairs that the fallacy is literally affecting the life AND DEATH of many millions of families.  So, I must speak out.  On what grounds can I speak out?  I have lived much of my life as one of those "lazy" poor, and I think it is high time that I told you how I was made poor and what it meant for others.. so I will give a few examples from my own life.

A long time ago, after I had left the military and was homeschooling an ADHD child at the suggestion of her school, my wife at the time had the first of several post partum psychotic breaks with the birth of our second child.   My ex wife of that time was the primary earner with my support, so when that happened we were left without any money, a disabled adult, and a baby to raise.  So, for the next few years, I would make things work by borrowing over with my student loans over tuition to cover living expenses for graduate schooling, while I did all the child rearing and household duties.  There was no income other than student loans, which left me with a huge student loan debt to cover.  So, for that decade, I was not working, yet both my children benefited from my activities, as well as my ex wife.

Later, I would be a single dad that was trying to make things work, raising both of my kids, after another of my ex's mental breaks.  In order to do so, I had to pay for after school daycare, during the time that I worked, and I was paying for my older child's college expenses, as she had failed out of college and needed to get good grades to get back her aid.. which ultimately would be accomplished.  So, I was being financially tapped out, but .. again.. both of my children benefited from the sacrifices.

There have been other periods of my life.. both single and in relationships.. where I was living on food stamps, due to being between jobs or dealing with life and health challenges, as well.  Indeed, for a long while after both of my children, I was poor while paying for the expenses that came from having the BABY.   

But, it's not always acts of sacrifice for others.  Sometimes, it can just be a bad turn of health or luck.  I have faced health challenges at times.  I would spend over 6 months not being able to work full time, due to having multiple retina eye surgeries and recovery time.  In that time, I had to not only not work but tap out retirement plans and sell things just to pay for food and bills... and not all of my bills was covered in that time, leading to credit challenges to overcome, later as well.

My story is not exceptional.  It is common.  The poor are not poor by choice.  I remember just how hard it was to swallow my pride to seek food stamp benefits, the first time.  Many facing health challenges feel like they are broken and a failure... simply for being in need.  And, it is at THIS point that others that do not face their challenges judge them, call them lazy, and cut off their funding.  I don't blame them for their anger in this time for this reality.  Countless kings have lost their heads... literally.. for similar acts of lack of empathy.  Though, I would call for the poor to be patient.  All they are doing it defining themselves, so let them.  The poor vote, and the seeds they are sowing will come to fruit, soon enough.

I hope that my story will cause a few to rethink the narrative that they are being fed, though I am experienced enough to know that it will probably be ignored by those that feel unaffected and want to fit into their groups.  Just know.. you are living on fiction, not fact.  Others around you have needs, and if you are not helping those in need, you really have no business deciding whether others can do so, as well. 

Light in Dark

I was sitting in my office, today, listening to people pack up their things on the day they were fired.  I have worked at the government, and like many thousands that was a doomed venture from the start, even if we had no way of knowing that upon taking the job... as everyone with less than a year of service was either fired or took a resignation deal like I took.  However, the experience dove tails into my recent thoughts of things that people need to remember in this time and about which i wanted to say.  So, I'll use it to illustrate some points.

So, back to my listening and observation of these individuals' final day.  I heard some with the most anger and most sad reactions being the same ones that over the last weeks was heard spouting the most unrealistic hopeful delusions.  I'm not anti hope.  I'm a hopeful person, but life has taught me to temper that with clear vision.  I've also been in relationships where I thought someone cared but was really just my own projection of what I desired to be true.  Like those let go at work, the truth DOES eventually make itself known.  You can either ignore the dark notes in the story and be side swiped, or you can recognize the uncomfortable truths and make proper decisions... which is why I'm not losing pay after today like them, but I'll have a smoother path to my next employment.  It is often the most deluded that ends up with the deepest pains.

Change is inevitable.  It doesn't mean a bad thing that something changed.  It means you have to adapt and adjust.  Life changes all the time, and those most likely to be happy are those able to be happy IN the middle of the change or the struggles.  If you are waiting for everything to be perfect or even peaceful around you, you miss out on a lot of good, and that good can help you have peace in other areas.  Like... my job is changing, the President is a dictator destroying the country, and ... yet... I'm living the happiest loving relationship of my life, right now.  That love gives me peace to deal with the rest.  So, look for the happy moments and happy futures to give you fuel for the other things in your life. 

Similarly, you have to realize that you're probably not going to get your ideal outcomes in all areas of your life.  Some may be or feel that good.  Cherish those.  However, my experience has been you often have to just do the best you can do.  And, the best you can do is... the best you can do.  Stop comparing it to your unrealistic outcome hopes.   Like... my taking the resignation offer wasn't a choice between resigning or a job.  If I didn't take it, I'd have been fired, today.  So, comparing it to a job that continues was NEVER in the cards, even if I didn't realize it upon taking the job.  

The best you can do is the best you can do.  So, stop lamenting that which was never going to happen and take pride in yourself that you made it through another day in the best possible way you knew to do it.  Your living the best outcome you can, if you choose wisely.  Look forward and look up.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Make it one worthy of your participation and end in the happiness that you can find along the journey.