Grown People Don't Have to be Right

As I write this blog, I'll lead off by saying that I realize that for most of my life I didn't fully grow up in this way.. maybe in some areas but not all.  I hope to be grown in the future.

How many of you have children?  When those children were growing up and came to you to talk about imagiinary beings or things they were pretending or holiday figures, did you immediately break their hopes and dreams with factual things?  Or, did you allow them to pretend and hope and feel good about things that didn't exist?

My guess is that you let your child pretend and bought them more and more toys that would allow them to pretend, further.  Why?  We know that curiosity and positive feelings are important, and they can develop important personality characteristics by pretend without having the real thing... after all would you rather your child play house and marriage and such or go get a boyfriend when they are not even a teen and learn the hard way?

This may seem like an odd way to open a blog post, but I want you to realize something... as a young child friend of that person, they might be wanting to correct them to make themselves feel more superior.  But, as an adult, and it gets even moreso as you age; you learn that it is not always important to prove yourself right.

Recently, I noted that I believe that God is less interested in being seen as being right than it is that He can be present in our struggles and our joys and more.  I would suggest that God is the ultimate adult in this regard, because if I look around the world I see a lot of people and countries that are SO determined to prove themselves right to everyone else and to be validated in their chosen path.

As I age and especially of late I find myself more and more quiet about controversial things.  Perhaps, that can be a flaw in that things are not being challenged, but I want to enjoy my life, and there is always something with which to be upset.

And, so, I focus on the positive things in my life or things ahead in my plans.  When things don't go as planned, I look forward to what can be.  When I am delayed or strained or challenged, I am trying to look at the good that IS in my life and add positive into my own life, rather than focusing on what I am not being given.

So, I will end this short post by simply saying when you feel like others are not seeing your view or your voice is not being heard, stop and ask yourself... it is that important that you are?  I think much of our lives fits that saying that you can be happy or be right, and while I will always try to keep an open mind when I am wrong and will say things that I see is interesting or important, I am ok if others cannot or will not agree.  Their agreement wasn't part of the growth or change in me.  We all have our own paths, and I value the freedom to follow mine and others to follow theirs.  May we all find happiness.

Dark Chronicles Act 17: A "Lazy" Poor Testimony of Care

Despite the fact that I shouldn't have to do this post, it is becoming more and more apparent that I must.  It shouldn't be necessary, because people should have enough sense and experience to see otherwise, but sense seems limited and experience only serves to exclude the wise from the inexperienced's echo chambers.  As such, this must be a Dark Chronicles post, as well.. even though it really should not be.

When it first began to circulate, I thought that it wasn't worth refuting, because I didn't believe that anyone would buy into it.  But, preachers and rich politicians kept repeating the same fallacy... if someone was poor, they were choosing to be poor, because they were lazy.  And, so.. the mythology grew and grew.  Now, we find ourselves in a state of government affairs that the fallacy is literally affecting the life AND DEATH of many millions of families.  So, I must speak out.  On what grounds can I speak out?  I have lived much of my life as one of those "lazy" poor, and I think it is high time that I told you how I was made poor and what it meant for others.. so I will give a few examples from my own life.

A long time ago, after I had left the military and was homeschooling an ADHD child at the suggestion of her school, my wife at the time had the first of several post partum psychotic breaks with the birth of our second child.   My ex wife of that time was the primary earner with my support, so when that happened we were left without any money, a disabled adult, and a baby to raise.  So, for the next few years, I would make things work by borrowing over with my student loans over tuition to cover living expenses for graduate schooling, while I did all the child rearing and household duties.  There was no income other than student loans, which left me with a huge student loan debt to cover.  So, for that decade, I was not working, yet both my children benefited from my activities, as well as my ex wife.

Later, I would be a single dad that was trying to make things work, raising both of my kids, after another of my ex's mental breaks.  In order to do so, I had to pay for after school daycare, during the time that I worked, and I was paying for my older child's college expenses, as she had failed out of college and needed to get good grades to get back her aid.. which ultimately would be accomplished.  So, I was being financially tapped out, but .. again.. both of my children benefited from the sacrifices.

There have been other periods of my life.. both single and in relationships.. where I was living on food stamps, due to being between jobs or dealing with life and health challenges, as well.  Indeed, for a long while after both of my children, I was poor while paying for the expenses that came from having the BABY.   

But, it's not always acts of sacrifice for others.  Sometimes, it can just be a bad turn of health or luck.  I have faced health challenges at times.  I would spend over 6 months not being able to work full time, due to having multiple retina eye surgeries and recovery time.  In that time, I had to not only not work but tap out retirement plans and sell things just to pay for food and bills... and not all of my bills was covered in that time, leading to credit challenges to overcome, later as well.

My story is not exceptional.  It is common.  The poor are not poor by choice.  I remember just how hard it was to swallow my pride to seek food stamp benefits, the first time.  Many facing health challenges feel like they are broken and a failure... simply for being in need.  And, it is at THIS point that others that do not face their challenges judge them, call them lazy, and cut off their funding.  I don't blame them for their anger in this time for this reality.  Countless kings have lost their heads... literally.. for similar acts of lack of empathy.  Though, I would call for the poor to be patient.  All they are doing it defining themselves, so let them.  The poor vote, and the seeds they are sowing will come to fruit, soon enough.

I hope that my story will cause a few to rethink the narrative that they are being fed, though I am experienced enough to know that it will probably be ignored by those that feel unaffected and want to fit into their groups.  Just know.. you are living on fiction, not fact.  Others around you have needs, and if you are not helping those in need, you really have no business deciding whether others can do so, as well.