About Me

I am keeping personal details others out of my social media and blog posts by personal choice, unless they are something that has been cleared for me to post.  However, that does not apply to me being able to post factual and positive things about me from my post .. accomplishments and moments of joy and so on.  So, I am going to do a quick bio of some of those, because it is my blog and I can.  And, the day that social censorship requires me to not speak about my own life is the day I will be breaking social censorship.  But, I am not g oing to be posting anything recent or current in this blog post.. just foundational past.

In high school, I was a mutt in terms of interests.  I was on the Newspaper staff, yearbook photographer, basketball team, baseball team, Mathematics League, and won awards for fair exhibits, academic competitions in things like math and science and history and more.  I went to and won the Jr level science fair regionally twice in Environmental Science with a fair exhibit on recycled plastic.  I won an essay competition in the area.  And, outside of school I loved to do electronics experiments, build things, and explore the woods.  After high school and during college, I would join a modeling agency for a short time, and worked my way up to be concessionist, usher, usher trainer, and projectionist at AMC.  Oh.. during my high school years, I joined the National Guard and went to Basic Training between Jr and Sr years of high school and career training after high school in Artillery.  Afterwards, I would leave the military for a while and just financially survive.  In my 2nd year of college, I would join a fraturnity and be on the Intra Frat Council, was a leader of a student union board activities committee, and was a youth director at a church.

Then, skip forward a while, I joined the Army active duty for a few years.  During that time, I was elevated to be the 1st Sargent's driver and would win Soldier of the Month for one month and get a couple battalion coins and Army Achievement Medal.

Coming out of the military, My child had severe ADHD that was cuasing problems and social isolation for her, so I homeschooled her for 7 years.  I don't know that I would make the same choice, again, but it gave us a lot of time, together.  That part I wouldn't change.  When my youngest was born, my ex had a post partum psychotic break, and for two years I was pretty much the only parent caring for my baby, while managing household needs and finishing not only my bachelor degree but my Master's degree.. eventually with a short period of my schooling for Elementary Education for a while in between, as well.  I would get hired for the IRS and work in Boston for a while.  After that time, I got my first divorce and came back to Oklahoma, where my family was.  I would work at first at Dillards and manage their furniture department for a few years, before getting hired to work accounting at IBM.  During this time, my ex had another psychotic break tied to her mania, and I would have custody of both of my children for years in Tulsa, and I have so many great memories of my time with them in this place.  I would also run several 5k's, which is something that I believe I want to train to begin doing, again.  I would also write several books under my own name and a female penname that I picked, as I felt that women would not read romance written by a man.  I would also write several inspirational books over the years, as well. 

From there, I would go to Florida, where my child went to be back with her mom, until my child graduated from high school, and came back to Tulsa to be near my family and for work.  I will stop at that point, because it is a good listing of my past without disclosing much detail of anyone else.  I forget sometimes just how many things I have overcome in my past and just how awesome my life has been.  It will continue to be awesome in the days and years to come. 

Accounting for Growth

I had the thought to do this blog post the other day, but I hesitated, because I could imagine how people would get it wrong and misapply it.  But, I do believe it is a worthy note to make, so I will do it with disclaimer.

I work in accounting.  I am not giving specific details about where or what I do and such.  But, I will say that I work in accounting and have for different companies and government and such.  The other day, I thought of something that I have seen there that applies to other situations, including healing and life.

At different times in different organizations, I have been faced with having to figure out something in a situation that I found myself that was new to me.  When I was originally given the task, it was SO hard to even comprehend.  I felt paralyzed by trying to wrap my brain around it, because it was just so much information to be hit with at once.  But, I pushed through and went on to the next challenge of learning and so on and so forth.

Time passed, and before I knew it I was facing the same situation, again.  However, this time, I had experience of understanding the situation and understanding of how best to manage my own response to the situation.  It was still a challenge, but it was much less of a challenge, and it took much less time to resolve it and was resolved in a much cleaner and more efficient manner.

So, why am I talking about accounting?  This same process is followed in anything that hits us in life.  At first, it is SO MUCH CHANGE and NEW and we feel brain and emotional strain just to try to keep a handle on it.  But, we push on... we learn,  we experience,  we figure out ways to process and to resolve it in a way that works.  And, there are so many of these types of experiences... not just romance but deaths, children issues, relocation, debt, and so much more. 

But, then, as we go through it, we pick up skills and knowledge.  Anyone that has dealt with any emotional issue knows that it never goes completely away, right away.  You will have echoes pop up along the way.  However, each time they pop up, it has less of an effect on you, because you have already learned how to think about it or feel about it, so it is easier to resolve and has less impact on your overall mood.

So, how am I afraid it will be misapplied?  I do not want you to feel that you should take the past and apply it, directly, to the future.  Do not take pains of the past or experiences and assume that future ones will be the same way and to respond to them in the same way.  No situation is completely the same, and what was wrong in one might be right in another context.  However, I DO believe that the process of SOLVING problems and processing things and maintaining emotional balance and confidence in your ability to thrive in the future IS something that it would be useful to remember and SOME things from your learning CAN help you guide your path more effectively.  Sometimes, it's not just things to avoid but the wisdom that you should say what you want and try more effectively.

I feel like I failed at making that disclaimer, but I do hope that you can understand the difference and apply the main point, correctly.  You might be feeling overwhelmed, right now.  Well, you have in the past in different situations that do not ruffle you, now.  You CAN and WILL get through this one, and life does get easier as you go along.  So, do not fear change.  Just bring with it the knowledge that will help you account for a much better and more peaceful journey, ahead. 

Accounting For Life

For those that don't know, my career outside of food delivery in periods between jobs is accounting.  It's a natural career for me, because it aligns with several qualities that I have, which I think is actually very needed and often lacking in the world, today.  Stick through the first paragraphs to get to the larger application.

People think accounting is about math or numbers.  Those are some expressions of it, sure.  But, I worked one accounting job for oil and gas supply where a whole section of the company accounted for barrels of oil transferred... no money accounted in that process.  Others would handle that.  Accounting was and is about first getting an accurate understanding of what it is you have, got, or sold.  There are no assumptions.. no we thought we had, or we thought it was worth more.  If it is not accurate, it is not accounting.

In order to be accurate, it MUST be seen objectively.  Your job is not to please the management.  In fact, they are counting on YOU to determine when it is not.  Some positions, in fact, are internal auditors whose job it is to catch when lower or middle managers are trying to blow sunshine up the CEOs ass.  You don't make friends that way, but you serve a valuable service.

So, it fits me like a glove, since by nature I am driven to analyze what actually exists by poking holes in assumptions and prejudice in groups around me.

But, some things cannot be analyzed and must be taken on faith, some would say.   Indeed, every dictator or abusive person... whether political figure, cult leader, management figure or abusive spouse would say the same thing.  Pretty much always the loudest voices opposing oversight are the ones with something to hide.  Those who don't often welcome an objective eye or voice.  Every major company gets audited every few years at least, and I think the devil is in fact God's auditor of virtue and does a pretty good job at it.

But, it's also false to say some things cannot be analyzed.  There is a very good one season show on Hulu of a massive supercomputer valled Devs designed to analyze everything... down to things like what did you ear or what did you hear or what was the weather like that led you to conclude in your quantifiable history to decide one thing over another.   And, if you can do that, you can predict the next steps.  This was also a major part of a season of Westworld.  Ultimately, everything... even emotions.. can be identified as the results of other influences.  So, the challenge and opportunity we have from understanding this is to let "our head rule our heart" as they say.  

For the last several months, that's been my guide... choosing what is wise, and know what?  It has led to a less emotionally rocky result with more steady joys, as well.  

So.. give it a shot.  What areas of your life do you KNOW are unwise and need adjustments.  What areas can you improve at it.  If you are not using your brain to guide your life, you cannot blame others for the choices you make without consulting it.