Saturday, October 6, 2018

Buy My Personal Freedom, Magic, Evangelical Critique, and Fiction Books

I had taken down my witchcraft book for a few months, while I was determining which direction I was going to go with the site and the books.  However, I have decided to put Godwitch back up and Free 2 B Me.  I have added a new cover to the 2nd one.

For those that don't know, my original witchcraft book was Godwitch, and it focuses on the intersection of faith and magic.


However, it was very limited and lacked as much practical application.  So, I wanted to expand it to include a practical application section, but I wanted to also expand the WHY portion and the threat of Evangelicals to the craft...having been an evangelical minister in the past to know.

So, the end result is Free 2 B Me:  Journey From Evangelical Accountant to a Christian Witch...





And, this book also brought together my witchcraft site godwitch.blogspot.com and the personal freedom and political posts from free2b.forwardtohappiness.com.

When choosing the price, I chose the lowest available for the benefits I felt each should have.  The first book, which is much smaller, is a $0.99 cent book; however, I chose to make Free 2 B Me an Amazon Select Book that would qualify for Kindle Unlimited, BECAUSE...you have the ability to read it for FREE.  How?  Right here...




Now, I personally love the Kindle Unlimited service for the ability to read unlimited magazines and books for just 10 bucks a month.  However, you can sign up, above, and read ALL of my books for free in your trial month, as well as other books.

Oh, and when I say ALL of my books, I mean not only these but the fiction books I write under my feminine penname, Kimberly Clifton.  Here are those books, as well.  Enjoy.






Friday, September 21, 2018

Dear Diary - Letting Myself BE Feminine

I do Tarot cards, having the gift of divinity from my earliest days.  You may dismiss it.  However, I can tell you that the cards have NEVER been wrong about what makes up my past, what is making up my present, or what shortly came to pass.  However, I haven't done it in a while.  I need to get back in practice.

One of my last readings was when I was leaving accounting and was starting to become ok with the idea of being less structured and doing things that I liked to do.  One thing that I remember from that reading was talking about what was about to come about, and it said the DEVIL card was about to come.

Now, for those that do not understand tarot reading and are from a Christian background, you may be thinking...oh..no...the big bad evil spirit is coming to get you.  That isn't what the Devil card represents.  It represents addiction.  However, I didn't understand what it meant, though...yet.

Then, I would spend the next several weeks feeling like I was not making enough money and searching for the next financial option.  As it turns out, one did pop up, and that was the Tulsa Teacher program.  After all, I told myself, I liked raising my children and had considered teaching for a long time.

Well, it soon became clear that I was not physically able to do that job or any major job, due to physical limitations such as high blood pressure and back issues....not that I really WANTED to be doing a JOB, anyway.

It would not be for weeks, before I would see what the Devil card represents in my life....my addiction to falling back into the expectations of bowing to what others expected from me to rule over my own personal desires.  THAT was...in fact... what had ruled over me, since I was very little, whether it be my father, my teachers, military men, other men around me, other women around me, and so on.  In my whole life, I have not even picked most of my own CLOTHES, till recently...till I married someone I loved that loved me for me and let me be me.

So, MY DEVIL or my addiction is the self-judgmental voice that has been created in my head from decades of hearing it from others.  While I am in a place that I can freely dispense with that self-criticism, I hear it from my past and hear it applauding when the local Evangelical Republican culture says something that it likes.  My life would be much better away from that food for my inner beast, but I cannot leave the area, until all my kids are grown up.  Till then, I must learn to control it.

So, I try.

However, as I try, I discovered yet a new wrinkle in my turtle shell exit of revealing myself to the world.  When I TRY, I find myself trying IN A DEVIL CARD WAY.  What do I mean by that?  I mean, I find myself trying by creating alternative justification BOXES, where it would be allowed.

Like...I say that I like driving, so I am an UBER driver.  Or, I say that I like writing, so I am a WRITER.  Or, I say that I like cooking, so that is like a home chef.  Or, I say that I like raising kids, so I am a teacher or a stay at home parent or....and so on and so on.

And, for a long time, I see nothing wrong with this exploration, except...I am not centering on one thing.  I am finding a lot of interests, but I grow weary of trying to UNIFY those interests into a career....ding ding ding ding ding.

Have you been paying attention to my blog?  Hello...it's the DEVIL card.  Suddenly, I am back to feeling the need to quantify my interests in such a way that it satisfies the BOXES of those that need me to be in THEIR box how THEY think MY life should be.

And...that box ...to them...is MALE, since I was born with a penis.  Therefore, I MUST have a job, and as such I must have a career that describes WHO I AM.  Then, I feel that I am not GOOD enough, because my interests do not fall into a career...I call myself broken, and WHY do I say that.  I say that, because I am saying that I am not a good enough MAN. 

Did you get that?  In following my feminine interests, I judge myself a failure, because I am not a good enough picture of the man others think I should be. 

Now...the final question.

IF the reality is that I am too emotionally driven and scattered to be a well organized man, is the problem that I am not a good enough MAN or that I am too good of a woman to work as a man? 

I'll leave you to chew on that this week.



Tuesday, August 28, 2018

The Evil of Testosterone (in both MEN and WOMEN)

I have realized something that I bet every doctor knows and every scientist but have been afraid (or unwilling) to say.  Testosterone is the cause of the destruction of society.  Here's why..

I was born a man, and I ... unfortunately ... live in a man's body, even though I have been able to suppress that portion of my body's effect to be more at peace with who I want to be.  However, it has not been an easy process, and I still face the damaging effects of living in this body. 

Even after I left my past of feeling I had to measure up in the dick contest of income production and things (and other ways), I still dealt with that past instinct coming back again and again.  Each time, it would produce new problems.  For example, I would MENTALLY be happy with being at home, but I would FEEL like I was failing by not making more money, even if I had physical limitations on being able to do so.  In fact, those limitations only served to make me feel MORE like a failure.

Indeed, even though I was happy to take on the role of housekeeper as my wife increased her work load, I was depressed at not having RECOGNITION or ACHIEVEMENTS on which to hang my sense of self worth.  But, here's the thing... that is a MASCULINE void I was trying to feel... i.e. Testosterone.

Then, for the last few months, I have been ok with everything.  I was happy to just be at home, and I moved closer and closer to being who I like to be with only random periods of self esteem issues.  Then, something happened, yesterday.  I missed my Statin dose ... a Cholesterol lowering drug that 1 in 4 over 40 takes.  As the day went on, I became more irritable and defensive and feeling more and more like a failure.  Then, I took it, today, and everything is rosy, again.

So, I googled.  As it turns out, Statins block TESTOSTERONE, as well, accounting for their calming effect.

Now... stop and think about that for a minute.  The makers of the drugs and the medical community, as a whole, designed a drug to help you lower your blood pressure and artery risk, and it blocks the hormone associated with being a man.

This makes sense.  Think about it.  What do we associate with being manly...

...Donald Trump's anger, pussy grabbing, locker talk, affairs, etc.
...NFL and other sports ATTACKS of players on each other, as men cheer.  In Roman times, it was fights before a crowd.
...using and abusing women.
...greed of having a lot of things.
...wars.

So, being a man decreases your lifespan (which it does) because you are pumped full of a chemical that is literally KILLING you.

Honestly, if I could cut those parts off, I think I would live a healthier and happier life, not just for being in a body I would like but because I wouldn't be led to self-destruction.  However, even if I were a woman, it would still be a problem...ONCE a MONTH.  Ha.  Each month, estrogen drops and testosterone becomes more prevalent.  What do we know about this period...it is when they are HOSTILE and IRRITABLE, and this increases once they enter menopause, which is why women become more hairy and irritable, as they get older.

So, conclusion.  Testosterone is the source of the ills of both society and families, and we would be much better off if we acknowledge it and block it.

Monday, August 27, 2018

Diary - 8-27-18

I've decided to start a daily diary on this blog, because I am not using it for anything, except the occasional product pick, and it is not associated with the other two that I am more active, daily.  On the one, I am writing under a female penname, as fits my nature, and establishing a feminine world on that page.  On the other, I am highlighting Republican threats, so we can bring this country back to FREEDOM.

However, as it true of the feminine kinda person I am, sometimes, you just want to vent and process.  I HAVE to do that, at times, in ORDER to work through it.

So, here we go....in no order and covering a lot.

The writing projects have been fun, penning my female characters out of pieces of my own past and who I wish I could be, and they are really good books.  To be non-humble, I am learning I am pretty good at that.  However, I determined that it would take 3 YEARS to make any money book writing in the traditional way, so I self-published and am finding that is very hard to make it work.  Even listing my books at 99 cents, it is very hard to get them sold.  For example, I just released my second one, and with literally DOZENS of posts on 5 different social media platforms, I have not had a sale, yet.  The first book has only had a handful of sales, after weeks of promotion...some of it even paid. 

Meanwhile, I have started other methods of income, and they are starting to pay off.  For example, I am using Swagbucks, and I have made enough money in two weeks to buy a Christmas Tree for the family and do a little fall decor shopping.  It is really interesting that I spent MONTHS working my ass off trying to make money with book writing and affiliate sales to earn less in that time than 2 weeks of answering surveys and SHOPPING...that's right.  I buy things on ads with Swagbucks, and they award me more than I paid in points that can be exchanged for Amazon gift cards and etc. 

I was thinking about that, today, and it kinda made an impact on my whole perspective...in a positive way.  My whole life, I felt that I had to WORK HARD to make money, and I was raised to believe that the more money it made, the more miserable you had to be.  When I was being raised "as a man" by my cruel father and bully guy friends and soldiers (which should have been a clue), I was taught that a REAL MAN sucks it up and sacrifices his happiness, so that his WIFE and KIDS would be happy, and...even more... we were taught that they should NOT work hard.

Stop and think about that for a minute.  We were raised to think that to be a true man, you would be eternally unhappy, so that others could be happy and never face challenges.  Not only is that bad advice for MEN but it is bad advice for raising kids and unrealistic for women, as women often work harder than men at home.

But, here's the added kicker.  It's BULLSHIT.  Take the last few months example.   When I WORKED HARD, I made almost nothing from it.  However, when I looked for what other ways there were to make money, I found you could make money doing things like shopping, watching videos, answering questions about your life, etc.  Indeed, at another one I have used Amazon Mturk, the things I get paid for are very unique.  I often go there just to see what I will be doing next.... making notations of heads in a crowd, centering buildings for maps programs, testing web searches, etc.  It keeps it interesting.

Further, when I was WORKING HARD with my writing, I found I had almost no time to be ME at the house, and I found myself back in the SAME feeling I had at other jobs of being stressed all the time and not enjoying being at home with the kids, which ... as a FEMININE person SHOULD be MY CHOICE to do for my life.  I SHOULD be able to take a day off at the mall or go shopping or go to a salon or whatever.  Or, has equality fallen short to allow me to live that life?

So, I have decided that I am downshifting.  Today, in one of my Swagbucks tasks, I joined AARP, and I realized...well, why not.  I have worked my ass off my whole life.  It is about time I retired and started living MY LIFE for once.  I intend to stop trying to find my next career.  I am in it.  I am a homemaker, and I do odd jobs in the process to earn money, as all women do.  THAT is my life, from now forward.

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Plus size Date Night Dress




Get this sexy dress to accentuate your plus size figure for an enjoyable date night.  Get it HERE.

Friday, July 13, 2018

5 dollars off discount rate magazines



Caged Strappy Sandals for Fall Wear



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Women's #music Themed Date Night Dress


#Womens #Hepburn #Cocktail #Dress with Belt for #datenight to #theater & #orchestra #wear
$6.84 – $10.41


Participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliates, and products are offered to earn fees by clicks and purchases thereby

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

What to do with your Kids FREETIME

If you are like most parents, you are happy to have your kids at home, but you find they have a LOT more energy than you do in the summer months.  However, you would like to know they are getting a good sample of things to see.

So, as the first of  my weekly product ads I am going to start adding to this site, I am promoting Amazon's FREETIME...



Friday, June 8, 2018

New Product Likes

New Product Likes for my Blog Recommendations


Women's Style Like

My pick for a pretty and yet cool Summer Dress.

ECOWISH Womens Dresses Summer Floral Short Sleeve Elastic Waist Vintage Retro Midi Dress with Pockets





Fitness

As I just started Cycling, I am definitely understanding the need for PADDED Cycling Shorts.  After Searching online, I like the comfort and price of these...

TOPTETN 3D Padded Bicycle Cycling Underwear Shorts Breathable Lightweight Men Women






Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Nevertheless She Persisted

I saw this phrase on someone in their running pic on Instagram and realized it is not just a great idea for #equality but for women's #fitness so get yours here from Amazon


Thursday, May 17, 2018

Lucky Charm for Car


Got my #car #lucky charm (or #talisman ) in the mail, today.  Has a #horseshoe #clover and more and only 6 bucks.  Mine was paid by affiliate sales, so thank you.  Get yours, here.

Friday, April 20, 2018

Dollar Tree

With this economy, it has always been a wonderful comfort to know stores like Dollar Tree exist, and I am happy to welcome them as an affiliate.  See side panel for clickable ad.