The other day, I saw a post on FB that was talking about how so much of our lives are driven by our reactions to negative things that happen in our days but that science shows we also have positive reactions to things that happen, too. The more we look for and focus on those positive things, the happier our days will be.
Indeed. It’s easy to get caught up in what we lack and miss the happy moments we can have in what we have. I spent several hours last night watching an old show I used to watch… NCIS but this isn’t about that. As I was watching it, I was thinking of the person I was when I was watching it… and other shows like it. For much of that time, I was in marriages that were one sided and would end badly. But… in MY mind the issue of finding my mate was over, and my mind was free to just be happy with OTHER things. Indeed, in those years I HAD to find happiness in other things, as I was not finding much of it in the relationship. It was similar to growing up in a poor situation with a critical dad and being a geeky overweight kid that got bullied. I HAD to find happiness in other things and so I did.
I’ve been noting on here how a relationship does not equal finding happiness, as every one of those comes with problems and that you can be happy single. But, I didn’t go on to HOW to be happy. Its not always going to be the same for everyone. You have to think about what makes you happy and start noticing things you like doing. Then… do more of those things. Or, maybe it’s not being HAPPY but simply being at peace… calm, mentally or emotionally stimulated, overcoming challenges, etc.
In the years after my last divorce, there were days when I felt defeated or down, and I would go out and deliver some deliveries and meet a financial goal I set for myself. And I felt.. happy with MYSELF for doing it. Recently, I lost weight, and I felt HAPPY about that. Indeed, I get happy when I create the perfectly reflective playlist or solve some mental problem or create a budget plan that gets me where I want to go. It doesn’t take someone else in my life to feel it, though it’s always nice to have someone with whom you can share it.
We don’t have to reach a destination or accomplish a goal to be happy, though. We can keep our focus and expectation on the happy accidents, fun moments, or even the steady, patient drum of a life that is deep and calm enough to just be at peace with the universe and your part in it… something I want more to have in my own life. So, look for and enjoy your happy moments today and let the challenges come and go with little hold on your emotions or who you will be in this day and going forward.