Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Free to Fail

Today is one of my least prosperous delivery days.. Tuesdays. So, I usually take the day off completely or split a half day with Thursday, which can also be slow. I didn't do that much.. laundry and cooked 15 bean soup for the first time in my life. And, I took time to work through a new music playlist. Doing that always helps me process life, and music has been a decency therapist over the years for someone always too strapped to afford REAL therapy. It's definitely not always easy, and I put like 15 other songs on the playlist that didn't make the cut as I processed and narrowed down songs that either resonated with how I feel or went in the direction I wanted to go. But, those songs that didn't make the cut helped me, too. If I didn't try them, I wouldn't know I didn't like how they felt. And, that leads well into thos post topic.

Life is messy. We always feel like others have their lives all figured out, and our lives are an embarrassment on humanity. However, over my life I've seen that most people have messy lives in one way or another. In fact, I've often seen that those that project such a perfect life are trying to force that perfect image to cover a real life spinning out of control. My ex projected and projects a perfect church Christian image, while her family life is a disaster and recently kidnapped her child against the child's will ... pulling the child out of public school and then refusing to honor the custody agreement to let the child see their father. I allow it as she child is becoming an adult and won't matter for long .. and we still talk by text. But..my ex thinks in HER mind that she is perfect and holy in part because her mental condition (manic disorder) causes her to never admit she can BE wrong. I say all that to say this.... her life is a disaster and she lacks a good connection to her child, BECAUSE she can't just say... my bad. That was a mistake. Can you forgive me and start over in a new direction. My second ex, likewise, failed to admit wrong or to try again and refused counseling offers. And, I'm missing a friend that got close last year, because she cannot admit wrong and try again. She tries something once and... that's it. It reminds me of how my 2nd ex can't watch a movie more than once.

But, there's a benefit that can actually strengthen goals we have in admitting wrong. The meme out there says when we start over that it's not from scratch but with wisdom to be more successful the next time. Problem is that people tend to give up by the time they learned the lessons. Now... not all paths lead to success and learning in those cases is to recognize that and try a different path. But, the common thread is that you learned from mistakes, and to learn from mistakes you have to allow yourself to make them. When we live in am isolated and insulated reality that is not allowed to fail, we learn nothing and that reality will be repeated over and over in all of our lives til we admit the error to progress.

Thomas Edison famously make thousands of successful failures in making the light bulb.. successful, because he learned what didn't work. If he wasn't willing to make mistakes and learn from them, we'd all be living in the dark. So, cut yourself a break and celebrate your failures as well as successes. Then, you might actually find a path that WORKS for your life.

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