You shouldn't let others define you, when you have plenty of history to define yourself. I thought about doing a "relationship resume" or "parenting resume" today, because I've spent too long letting ex's and others not only believe false assumptions but propagate them, and when that's all that's being said, the truth gets lost.
And, we give up too quickly and silently, sometimes. I was picking up a delivery the other day, and the worker told me... uber orders will be at least 30 minutes wait. Normally, I'd just go to my car and call uber to cancel my delivery to be reassigned. But, I knew the girl was just being lazy and it was a high dollar order. So...I pulled out my phone and called uber and told them out loud what the restaurant said, and... what do you know. Somehow, the girl got the order done in 10 minutes.
People want you to just give up your image or desires, so they can get theirs. And, those that want to take advantage of you do not want that getting told to others. Or, if they want you to look bad, they will get upset when you tell facts that make you look good. So, there's several that wouldn't want me to recount the following...
When I was in my first marriage, I joined the military when my first ex who had been working management got tired of it and "didn't know what to do" about her career. Then, when that ex finished an MBA and left me still in the military for another year to start working at a job, I left the military to follow. When our child was having problems with ADHD and her school told me they didn't know what to do and was isolating her, I gave up my own career to homeschool the child for 7 years and take care of the house, because that ex didn't want to leave her work. A few years later, we would have a 2nd child and that ex had a postpartum condition, so... I schooled online and used that aid from school to pay the bills as I was in all ways the only parent raising the infant for years. Then, I got my first accounting job to cover expenses for the family... a job that ex didn't support, and we divorced. Years later, when she had another breakdown, I would take custody of the child for 5 years.
In that time, I would have both kids living with me, because the oldest failed out of college and lost her aid. I took her into my house to pay for her tuition and drive her to college and help her get her aid back with good grades. I was also driving the youngest to her school near my work and picking her up at her after school daycare after my job was done. I would take them to the Renaissance fair, comic cons, Christmas lights, and much more and had a conversation on way home about their lives. After a few years, I began to date, and I met my 2nd ex.
For that relationship, I would pay for multiple dates each week, pay for one weekend per month with her at hotels, sell my house to pay for the wedding and a deposit for a nice apartment we'd share, when that ex wanted to move out of her mother's house. I often bought roses or chocolate for her, and when her back got to hurting, I would leave my high paying job to handle things at the house for her, as well... working at flexible money options, instead, even though they did not pay as well. However, that ex didn't like me helping her, and she ended the marriage.
Those involved don't want me saying all that I did, because it looks bad that they turned and burned or attacked me. They want to project a different story that they can control. But, history is history, and I'll just let the facts be known and stand for themselves, instead.
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