I helped someone on the streets, today, and it's not something new to me and most of the time I don't mention that I did it. However, this one goes to a larger point that is actually helping me process my own issues. I had just dropped off a delivery in the town of my ex of all places. As I was leaving the area, an old black woman asked if I could give her a ride over to the cricket store a few miles away. I agreed and on the way reflected on how hot the day was getting and the fact that she was in a very arrogantly rich town and that very likely she would not get a ride from anyone else. I mentioned that it was hot to be walking, and she said she walks everywhere, since Firestone took 1300 dollars from her and then her car broke down two days later. In the few minutes of the ride, she told me about how she had lost her husband and couldn't get to where he was being buried. As I dropped her off, she asked if I had two dollars, so I gave her the ten that I had in my pocket, even though I didn't really have it in my budget to give... I'll make up for it.
As I drove away, I reflected on the fact that I just happened to be there and would be someone that WOULD help in a town that likely would not. Indeed, most people that I have met around here have more money than they know what to do with but have not given to a charity in the time that I knew them. There are exceptions of people and that's part of why they are my friends. But, it's generally not the wealthy but the poor that help other poor. I was also thinking of my trans child living with a mom that has repeatedly condemned them for being trans. I think she sent them to a church camp to fix them one year, as I recall. But, they have always had me to be their support. Even yesterday, I wished them a happy trans day of visibility... posted a Tulsa museum post about that day, as well. So, when my child looks at my profile, they will see one that is welcoming and safe to their choices, even if it leads to personal criticism... like I care about that, anyway.
But... and here is where it is important. I helped that person while out driving a lower paying job with more than they would have got from the rich. My child, even though they don't see me, gets more support than they would get at my ex's family or church. While I'm over here feeling like a failure for not making a lot of money with a stable home, I am living the life that benefits others ... and that's not a failure. I am still thinking about how my professional life will go and will hopefully have more free money by the end of the year, even if it is from living in a less expensive state. But... I'm not going to call myself a failure anymore. I'm a great person with a good heart... not doing that to be "blessed by God" as that woman promised, as I don't believe that happens often. But, I can be a blessing to others, and that's not a bad life, at all.
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