There is a phrase that is used by food and wine tasters that is "clense the palate" and means something you do to erase the prior taste on your tongue to try something new without influence of the last one. It's something that would be nice if we could apply it to other areas of our lives. I'm working on it, even though some consider that rude... they think you should continue to bring that bitter taste into every new flavor, which just destroys the experience.
Over the last several months, I've been adopting a more logical and realistic approach to life. It's helped me adjust to situations beyond my control, even when things seemed set to cause me harm. For example, I knew that it was not healthy for me to be living alone in a state with no relatives and literally having no social contacts for months. My eye surgery recovery times for most of 7 months showed me that, pretty clearly. So, I began my exit back to my prior home of familiarity near relatives.... and...
... I got hit from a car, totalling my car at the time and plunging me into rent risk and making moving near impossible til I fought for myself to the insurance of the company that hit me.
... my back hurt from the car wreck, making my driving difficult but with pain meds I've made it through.
... I had my radiator just break on my way to Oklahoma, but I put water in it along the way to get there and went down to weekly rent to pay to fix it.
... my child that my ex had already illegally blocked me from seeing simply because she didn't consider me a good influence on them.. because I supported their trans life and wasn't a good enough Christian.. either wrote a very harmful letter in the name of my child or told my child things to say to send to me after I had paid to give an expensive gift to them and sent it to me the day before father's day, cutting off communication for me to even respond.. in stark contrast to the positive chats we had been having for years. But, I didn't let it destroy me.
... and just when I got close to paying monthly rent the last problem with my car that I knew was coming ever since I got stuck in sand in Florida broke down but I got that fixed with help of family and stretching bills.
... and finally I paid my lights cam ticket from Florida, so that's done.
I could go back further for my trials from Florida and that ex, but you get the point... and obviously confirming the absolute divine right of exiting that bad romance, many years ago. But, even in my recounting it, you can see the need to clense my palate to be able to start, anew.
Like I said, I'm working on it. That ticket is paid. I'm a thousand miles away from that ex. I'm paying many hundreds less than I was when living in Florida, monthly, with almost no reduction in my income. Indeed, a few days ago, I began a new car insurance policy that will be 90 dollars cheaper, monthly, and the first payment isn't til end of month, saving me a month's payment to help offset some repair bills. Indeed, at this point in time, I'm paying in total about 600 less all costs considered than I was this time last year in Florida, per month.. and that will become over 700 when I go on monthly in about a month...a total of about 800 less than bills in all... BEFORE I get am accounting job for more. So, there's much more joy to be looking forward than back.
I have reached the plateau upon which to stand and climb, and the only reason to look back is to notice how far I've come. Otherwise, I need to clense my palate, learn the lessons of who has and has not been there for me.. what worked and what has not, and otherwise, keep my gaze forward and climb.
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