Skip to main content

Deep Calleth to Deep

 "Deep calls to deep..." Psalm 42:7

There are many stages and steps after a breakup.  In following mine, I will be saying nothing negative about her for several reasons, but I will be speaking about myself and my thoughts and feelings on breakups and restarts in general.  I was holding off doing so in part because I felt that being MYSELF must have led to this end.  So, doubting myself I withdrew for a while.  However, especially in the past few days, I have begun to realize how dumb that would be.  

It was a lesson I learned many years ago in context of other ended relationships or dating attempts, and I had forgotten it, til now.  Basically, someone's inability to appreciate the actions, manners, and qualities that make you.. you.. is not a reflection on you but on them.  I do not mean that in a negative way.  What I mean is that it only reveals that if they cannot appreciate you for being you, you would feel always like you had to change to be something that they can appreciate, and very likely I am certain that the feeling is true in reverse as relates to them feeling how they have to be for me.  Further, it would lead to both feeling the other is failing to appreciate them, when the other is simply being themselves.

So, there is no reason to hide myself, especially after someone fails to appreciate it.  Why would I change who I am, now... when I am on my own?  I am a deep person.  That's who I have always been.  I write deep blogs, ponder concepts and emotions and life.  I write emotional texts and poems and pick emotional songs.  That's what i do.  Like many of the musicians of the day, I expresss myself in text and texts and more.  I capture beauty in photos. I watch emotional movies and shows and cry at times or celebrate in joy.  I am by nature a deep person, and to limit that and curl up into a shell would be to eliminate ME.

In the LGBTQ communities, they promote pride in being yourself, and I think that is a very good message.  However, it is not limited to their groups, alone.  Everyone should love themselves for being themselves.  It was part of a prior post I did about relationships, in fact... where I said you should love them, love yourself, and love your unity.  I do have to admit upon reflection that I gave up quite a bit of myself in the attempt, because those things were not applicable or good for the union.  But, now, I am going back and reclaiming those things that were lost.

So, love yourself.  I started to say love yourself, til someone else chooses you for you.  But, that doesn't matter and shouldn't change anything.  Love yourself, ETERNALLY.  Others will do what they will do.  The saying is that a person is the sum of the 5 closest people to them, which is why breakups can take adjustment to recenter yourself.  However, if you have a solid love of yourself, then you can be one of the 5, and that will help you carry on and grow, afterwards. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Follow Your Bliss

I think it was a couple years ago that I first discovered Joseph Campbell.  I had heard the phrase "follow your bliss" but hadn't given it much thought til that moment.  It just sounded like a holiday card that seemed too impractical.  But, upon digging into it and applying it to my life, it became one log in the fire upon which my self esteem and direction was formed. " Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else " So many people walk around saying to others and themselves that they do...

Reframe Happiness

When you “reframe” something, it doesn’t always mean to be delusional about it… though some move in that direction.  They don’t accept reality, so they change their perception of reality to fit their circumstances.  Indeed, I got into several past bad social connections with people because I reframed their lack of effort, empathy, or romantic actions to be just that it was underneath but just not seen.  But.. to quote the Bible (not as a holy source but collection of passed down maxims on life), faith without works is dead.  What it means is if you can’t see its effects in some way, it’s not there.  That’s not just true of faith but is a life application principle for judging what is or is not, as well.  Even Jesus said to judge a plant by its presence of fruit… love, joy, peace, patience, etc.. or not.   But, what if the FRUIT and TRUTH suggests a path is not functioning to bring you happiness?  Then, you might want to reframe what you NEED to be...