Friday, November 24, 2023

New Life Crisis

 People speak of mid-life crisis as a bad thing, and if you are just doing it to be following the grass is greener mentality, it definitely can be a bad thing.  There's something to be said for maturing a relationship or growing your foundation, if it can be trusted to bring you happiness.  In my case, I lost that foundation because of the choices of others over the last several years.  So... what happens when that foundation is taken away from you?  Do you cling to a past that has left you or was stolen by those that didn't care for you, or do you look for new avenues of adventure to follow?  I decided to stop wallowing in dead avenues and to start looking for new ways of framing your life to find happiness where you are.  For example, I still enjoyed a great Thanksgiving by myself in the way that... eventually... all parents will face as their kids go on to have lives and families of their own.

However, one thing of which I am proud for NOT doing for this holiday or the one coming up.  I didn't just get anyone to fill that spot.  I'm not saying that anyone I know has done that.  True love can find itself in a holiday period, but holidays are also a means of society pressure to get people to settle for someone in order to have someone for the holidays and to satisfy other questioning parents or such.  They made entire movies over the pressure to do just that.  But, I'm not going to be with someone just to wear them and return them after the holiday sales are over.  I wouldn't do that to someone, and I wouldn't want someone to do that for me.  I am open to it happening for real in this period, but it would have to BE real... they would have to show genuine interest, have to make space for me in their lives, make me a priority, and would have to have enough things of shared interest or such to make it longer lasting than what can be a rather expensive date at times.

A mid life crisis can be someone running after a girl twenty years younger in a flashy car.. don't get me wrong, I bet that would be a fun experience.  However, my experience with my last ex that was 9 years younger would lead me to question if anyone that much younger or more had shared life goals or satisfied with the solitude of a couple, rather than just looking for someone that is good eye candy or a good excuse for their social media channels.  Some love to show off their victories in public to show everyone that they were successful... sometimes even to try to GET that person to notice them.  But, if people are not interested in you except in your success, they might not be there for you in struggles.

And honestly... think about it.  Everyone always says they want to be the couple that is holding hands on the beach in their old age.  They don't say they want to be the couple making out on the beach in their old age.  Who wants to see that.. ha.  We all age.  There is almost no one that is still hot and sexy at 60, and we all will get there one day.  Unless you want your person to seek another.. person.. that is hot and sexy in their own mid life crisis, you might want to see someone more interested in your love than your looks.  And, I'm content to wait till that happens... holiday or not.. if it happens at all.  If I have to beg for attention or get my person to make me a priority, I would rather be single as a single person, rather than a single in a relationship.  Because, I know I can make MYSELF happy.

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