I have been working overtime... literally, like 60-70 hours a week.. to walk a fine line in my budget to cover my necessary expenses in the 3 weeks post surgery that I cannot work, due to the fact that I have to be face down for the bubble that will be in my eye. Then... Sunday, we had a huge thunderstorm during dinner delivery time. Monday, I had three people ghost me at the meeting point for something that I was trying to sell, taking up delivery time. Then, today, Ubereats had a national app bug that took out at least all lunch time.
This would be a major setback in my planned surgery. But... luckily, last night I began to realize that I just couldn't be running on steam like that and was vulnerable to.. well.. this... unexpected things that could affect the budget. So, I contacted my doctor and asked for a delay in my surgery for a couple weeks. They agreed, and poof.... my budget problems go away, as I can access the 1,100 or so after distribution fee money from the retirement plan that I accumulated from teaching and my work at the state and am vested in (vesting should be illegal by the way... it's theft of the money when you are not and a violation of your initial hiring offer).But, my point is that if I kept trying to just push through and make a bad situation work, I would potentially have ended up being homeless and/or not eating for days. Recognizing that I couldn't DO one option actually made it possible for me to HAVE happiness.
And, this concept is true for more than just a surgery date. As I am realizing over the past weeks, all truths are universal and apply to different things, similarly. I've noted before the amazing parallels that can be found between work and relationships, but those same truths apply to other social forms of contact or personal goals or more. Thomas Edison is famous for trying 2,000 times to make a light bulb, before he finally did. What if he said.... Let's try this same way again, maybe it will be different. Or, what if the KFC founder stayed in automobiles.
I had a friend that I did a lot of things with over the year, and we did a lot of things with Meetup app groups and such. And, a lot of those that are in those groups have a lot of money and time.... of course... retirement and Entertainment state. So, they are always like... this is coming up. You're doing it, right? The idea that you might not have the budget or time wouldn't really occur to them. It's like that Friends episode when half of the group mentioned to the others that they just didn't have the budget to keep doing things that they suggest. The richer group looked at them like they just said a monkey gave birth to a bowling ball. What? And, I tried to keep up with them, which required more side work and less time and less happiness... all because I didn't recognize my limitations. Dating can be the same way, and I tried doing that while short on money for a while, but all it did was make me look cheap and let to more problems, as the other person would expect me to be the provider or at least have something to provide. It also came from dating in the wrong group, too.. again.. wealthier state. If I dated in a lower class, it would be less of a problem.
So, my only point is this. If you keep trying to make bad or difficult situations work, you might just be spinning the wheels, before they come off. You might find more happiness recognizing your own limitations and finding paths to joy that actually WORK in your life.