Wednesday, December 6, 2023

Unrealistic Expectations

 I realized that there is something else that I understand that has not made it to the blog, so I am doing this to correct that.

 Today, I was doing some ubereats deliveries, as I often do.. and someone messaged me a complaint, which is rare.  However, her message and the situations is a perfect lead into this topic.  She said, "What is taking so long.. another half hour?"  

First of all, it wasn't a half hour but 16 minutes till I would arrive to bring her food, but people that have that kind of tone generally aren't operating within reason.  But, the fact is that she ordered 8 items from a small Japanese restaurant, which is already a slow type of restaurant to have food prepared when I arrive, and I had to wait for it to be completed.  Then, she ordered near rush hour and the path from the store to her house would take me through one of the most congested traffic areas in general, and this evening was even moreso.  So, she ordered a long preparation meal to be delivered in bad traffic... and was wondering what was taking so long.

And, that leads me to my topic... unrealistic expectations.  It is a society problem in general, lately.  You can find it in many different segments of society, but I will mention one that I've had a lot of experience with over the years.... older age dating.  What I have seen in these years is both genders when they exit a relationship or marriage and are out in the dating world, again, start looking for the type of person that they wanted in their younger ages.  After all... you can see them on some dating apps...ha.  Those that you find on the dating apps like that are actually fake accounts.  But, they have this expectation of finding someone that has financial stability (a few years after worldwide economic collapse that required everyone to beg for stimulus checks), rock hard abs and perfect hair (while their own bodies decay and sag), no emotional baggage (after being divorced), and wants to be "family" despite having their own.  And.. let me burst another little bubble... you aren't going to find a virgin at our age that hasn't had sex with you and probably not someone that is sexually vibrant.  Chances are that both will have self esteem issues in that area.

I've noted it a couple times, but statistically you are unlikely to find your person that matches what you need.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't want it or saying that you should settle for someone bad for you.  You need to seek what you want, but you should realistically understand that you will probably not find the perfect one for you... you (or me) are definitely not perfect, either.  But, it will help everyone involved, I think, if people understood their post divorce expectations are often unrealistic.  Then, they can settle into a soft, self confidence of themselves and be open to connecting with others for what it is... people that just want someone to talk to and begin re-framing what happiness looks like in older years.  

Of course, this is not limited to dating, as I said... always seek your happiness and definitely don't allow yourself to be in a toxic situation, but from work hours to family connections to bodies to even what you find to do for fun... You  may find that it is more comfortable to enjoy what you can find in your days, instead of wallowing in despair over what you cannot.













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