Take It Back

When my last marriage ended, I wanted to put it behind me, and combined with my voluntarily giving custody of my child to my first ex in Florida, I thought what better way. But, the problem is what I didn't recognize was that it was am act of surrendering my foundation to someone that rejected me...two people, actually... as I was also giving up custody to my first ex that had never stopped and would continue to attack me to make herself look better by comparison to my child. But. I gave up more to my 2nd ex.

I grew up in Oklahoma. That was my home and where my family resides. Tulsa had been my home for 5.5 years before I met my ex. I found the house to rent in which she now resides and mowed the grass and more there when we were together. When it ended, despite all this and the fact that she chose to give up and even refused my 4 requests for counseling to save the marriage...she refused to be the one to move away. When I had to go in s pandemic to Florida, I left boxes of things there. I would only be able to pay for some to be shipped to me, because that ex allowed my boxes to get wet and molded and was trashed... including many awards I had achieved. For a long time, I wouldn't even think of Tulsa or Oklahoma. because I was blocking it out. Lumping it all together geographically. But... it was mine. first.

Before her, I owned a house in the area. Before her, I had a solid ans growing career. Before her, I had a family with two kids in my household. I took her to all my favorite spots there, but they were MY spots, first.. some of which I'd even taken previous dates to.

I want my next decade to be taking back what was mine. The kids may not be possible, because they are grown or about to be. But, that wouldn't stop me from making another's kids my own, when I find the right one...even if they are grown, too, and having a new family to extend from my current one...and a new career whether that be the same job or a new path.

The last several years may look like the first part of God's bet over Job. But...by God... I'll make the next part look like G D Solomon.