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Confession and Forgiveness: The Hardest Wisdom

I wanted to do a post about some observations that I've had over life that are important for finding peace and happiness.  This is not a plug for religion, as I'm not sure they understand it, either.  So, I will not be putting it in religious terms or suggestions for enacting it.  It is really more of a personal responsibility and reward.

I did something similar, years ago, as a post I had set as a page on my blog that was accessible from the main menu, but this post will be more of a matured expression of it.  Anyways... to begin.

What are some of the most offensive things to say in our society?  I'd say among them would be.. I forgive you and I was wrong.  The first is offensive to the one being forgiven, because it indicates there was something to forgive,  and the second is offensive to the one saying it for the same reason.  Now, what are some of the most helpful things to be said to heal from the past and find peace and happiness... the same statements.  

At the end of the Ted Lasso series, Jamie Tart is encouraged to forgive his father.  He didn't want to do it, saying he didn't want to give him that.  Ted says that he isn't giving him that but giving that to himself.  That is an extreme example involving someone that does not apologize.  But, it contains a truth.  Holding bitterness hurts you, not the other person.  It's not a good way to live.  Nor is it good to refuse to admit you're wrong and allow that pain on another.

I've often said that I'm not perfect and make mistakes.  That isn't a justification, nor an excuse.  It's just reality. I try to learn and grow from my own mistakes, but I will remain flawed over my life.  In reconnecting with my ex wife as friends, it began with a conversation where apologies were said.  It continues with the kind of grace people always say they desire but do not always give to those closest to them.  I have other connections from the past that did not so heal, either from the failure to apologize or the refusal to accept the apology.  I will continue to accept own failures in them, even if that is not received, and I will continue to give grace, even if not admitted.  My own peace and happiness demands it, and at the end of the day that is the most important part.. finding peace with others, even those not in your life or even those who should not be.  Let it go and grow.  

I know these are hard truths to accept, especially in a society that encourages discontent and blame.  But, that's part of why society is so messed up.  You can be better. I'm rooting for you.

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