Improve Yourself

As I have noted, I have been spending weeks focusing on the good in my past and seeing it for the good that it is without following the way of the world to trash it in a sort of burn to purify technique to remove a period from your mind and reset to something new.  In the past, I have taken part in that kind of thinking, but it does not work and creates more problems than it attempts to solve.  It leaves you bitter, and you take part in doing the devil's work of stealing your joy, making you doubt yourself, making you doubt others, and more.  However, if you look objectively at the times and focus on the good that was present in your life in those days, you find yourself grateful that you took a chance to be able to have it in that moment, find more faith in the potential of others, and find the peace and hope of the past to walk into the future.

However, as I reflect on the good in my past and connections lost, I am left with the question and the challenge.... why did it end?  Despite another way of the world habit of looking at the flawed actions of others and the good intentions of ourselves, no one is perfect... not even you.  There has never been a failure in your life that did not include some blame of yourself.  I remember having a conversation with my dad one time about a relationship issue at the time, and he said to me that there are always two people in any argument... two people that can be to blame.

Yes, it is possible that there are systematic issue, and our mind always goes there to justify ourselves.  However, as I look at successful couples out there, do you know what I find?  They are messy.  They have issues.  They make mistakes.  They have some loud arguments at times.  They forget things and fail each other and more.  They often have very different personalities.  But... they love each other, beyond all that.  They apologize.  They look for ways that they can improve.  I used to say that romance is learning how to make the other person smile and doing it. 

I have made a lot of mistakes.  I have blamed others, when I should have been focused on my own needs to improve.  I justified myself, rather than learn what the other person needed.  I, in my pain, threw up walls, cried out loud, blamed groups, and more.  I was wrong.  I failed to provide a secure place for the person that was hurting enough to leave me.  

So, now, I'm trying to learn and improve, while remembering the good that I once had as motivation.  I know I can be a better human, no matter the good I have done in the past.  And, my goal for 2026 is to learn and improve.  That's my resolution.