I had this whole other post prepared to write, but instead I want to write a single paragraph to hit on its main points in a very generic way as context for this positive post, as it lays the foundation FOR this post.
We live in a society that likes to focus on the negative. They want you to focus on the negative, too. People are always looking for flaws, risks, problems, and they dedicate much time to that, believing that focus on the negative is key to overcoming it for a positive and happy life. Yet, my experience has been the reverse is true.. focus on it leads to.... FOCUS ON IT and eventually division. There was a marriage counseling book that I read one time by a very right wing religious counselor. Most of what he had to say I didn't believe was good, but one thing has stuck out in my mind that he said... before getting together, you should have your eyes wide open, but afterwards they should be half closed. In my opinion, focus on the positives to value is much more important than identifying the negatives in ANY life situation, not just interpersonal relations.
So, how valuable ARE the positives to you? Without going into why, several months ago, I was at a very low point. I felt adrift, disrespected, hopeless, and had much doubt about the goodness of myself and my future. I was at the point of feeling like walking away from jobs and everything else. I did believe in myself, but I had doubt for everything else and almost everyone else.
Then, I received comfort and encouragement from several friends, and that was very important to me. And, I reconnected with my ex wife, and spending time with her was so healing to both of us in many ways, not all are applicable to this blog post. But, in my interactions with her, I found someone that believed in me, appreciated what I could do for her, listened to me, took empathy in how I felt, and gave me a sense of security and hope for my future, simply by being someone with whom I could safely communicate and rely upon for emotional stability.
So.. how valuable is that to me? Let's put it in terms of money. How much money is that worth? Well.. since it saved me from the absolute abyss and depression, it is definitely worth the money that I had. Since it gave me the stability to keep working, it was worth the money that I was earning. Since, it gave me the foundation and confidence to seek for more, it was worth some of the money that I can earn, especially as there were so few others giving me the same level of support and many were mad that I was receiving it from her and giving my support to her... people that I gladly removed from my life for revealing their lack of care OF ME apart from them.
There was a very good book that I read once from Terry Pratchett called Making Money. In the book, a con man was picked to establish the first bank and currency for the land, and the book dealt with the concept of what gives something value. Value is attributed by what others GIVE to it or what they would surrender for it. We spend so much time letting others tell us what products are worth, but life is more than products. I'd challenge you to take some time and think about what is good in your life and what good you would have in it. Then, think.. what would I surrender to get that or to keep that.. romantic partners, friends, family, lifestyles, pleasures, and more. If you do that, you will FINALLY be thinking in terms of VALUE, and when you put find TREASURE in the things of your heart, you will have a much more rewarding life, indeed.
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