Forward to Happiness

I thought I'd write down one of many things that I've had bouncing around in my head, as I decide what career I will follow upon my move to the Midwest. I picked up a delivery at a pizza place this afternoon, and the worker that made the pizza was so proud of his creation and his job. It got me to thinking, so I did a little research. There is, according to Bureau of Labor Statistics, 8.19 million people working in food preparation and serving in the US. By comparison, there are only 1.6 million accountants and auditors, only about 4.5 million elementary and secondary teachers, and so on. Got every "professional" job there's more working in support roles or ones that you actually SEE on a day to day life. Out of 161 million workers, only 70 million are in management or supervision positions, across all the industries including another million in the food service businesses. My point is this. While we judge our career and success by our professional levels, ...

A Greek philosopher is credited with saying the only constant is change, but it has been repeated by many in different contexts over the centuries. Indeed... I have always thought that my life is always very different than I expected it to be 5 years prior. Five years ago, I was married and expected it to last, forever. That would change within months that year, and my life has had many other change points between then and now. It hasn't been all bad... just different. However, it was often unexpected. This will be a short blog, but it's worthy of its own post. Life is unexpected.. it is chaos, and that's a good thing in part. How would you ever touch the magic of a moment, if every moment was dictated? The last several years has been hard and challenging at times, and ultimately it's taught me I want more of family and roots, at least for now. But, I grew SO much on my own in the challenges, here... in the... change. We change our clothes, our hair, our direct...

You shouldn't let others define you, when you have plenty of history to define yourself. I thought about doing a "relationship resume" or "parenting resume" today, because I've spent too long letting ex's and others not only believe false assumptions but propagate them, and when that's all that's being said, the truth gets lost. And, we give up too quickly and silently, sometimes. I was picking up a delivery the other day, and the worker told me... uber orders will be at least 30 minutes wait. Normally, I'd just go to my car and call uber to cancel my delivery to be reassigned. But, I knew the girl was just being lazy and it was a high dollar order. So...I pulled out my phone and called uber and told them out loud what the restaurant said, and... what do you know. Somehow, the girl got the order done in 10 minutes. People want you to just give up your image or desires, so they can get theirs. And, those that want to take advantage of ...

Today is one of my least prosperous delivery days.. Tuesdays. So, I usually take the day off completely or split a half day with Thursday, which can also be slow. I didn't do that much.. laundry and cooked 15 bean soup for the first time in my life. And, I took time to work through a new music playlist. Doing that always helps me process life, and music has been a decency therapist over the years for someone always too strapped to afford REAL therapy. It's definitely not always easy, and I put like 15 other songs on the playlist that didn't make the cut as I processed and narrowed down songs that either resonated with how I feel or went in the direction I wanted to go. But, those songs that didn't make the cut helped me, too. If I didn't try them, I wouldn't know I didn't like how they felt. And, that leads well into thos post topic. Life is messy. We always feel like others have their lives all figured out, and our lives are an embarrassment on hum...

It's been a little while since I have done a personal update post on the blog, mainly because a lot of things were in flux and could change. However, I am feeling pretty steady about the choices and direction that lies ahead over the last few weeks. I've mentioned some on various social media posts, but I wanted to bring together realizations and reflections along with some readings and more. In short, I've decided to move back to the Midwest this Summer or Fall.. likely Fall. But, there's a lot that goes into that short statement, as weeks of thought went into the conclusion and more into the application. Obviously, the first influence on the decision was that my ex kidnapped my child against my will or my child's will. The only reason I didn't have her arrested was my asking my child if she'd rather I fought it or just let it be til my child is 18 and can do whatever desired. My child prefers to avoid living in conflict, so I'm letting it be. But,...

There's a quick line in Far and Away that comes to mind as I lead off this topic. It's when Joseph is in the middle of a dual with Steven Chase, knowing very little of guns, and Shannon rides a wagon into the area and calls for him to get in the back. Joseph in his pride tells her to go away, and Shannon says, "Assess your stupidity, lad."     There is a wide range of songs that speaks of using your head to guard your heart... like dozens of them in every genre. It makes sense, the heart can give us "rose colored glasses" that ig ore red flags and get us into trouble. Even the Bible warns, "The heart is deceitful above all things," which is a little too strong, but it's a good warning to test your feelings with facts from time to time. This is true in romance and a good reminder as we approach valentine's day, named after a martyr and a massacre. But, it's also true for any plan or road that you follow.     Years and years ago...maybe a...