This should not be a Dark Chronicles post. It should not be a controversial post. The fact that it is reflects just how messed up our society happens to be. It should not be a DARK thing to say that you should not expect perfection from others but should give them grace for their failures. However, we are living in such a culture of division and condemnation that it is the NORM to point out the failures of others.
On the dating side, people are told to look for all the bad "flags" of someone. We are told to keep our eyes open and looking for the flaws of someone as they date. Girls will talk to their girl friends about the failure of their men or receive criticism from their friends about their partners. Men will do the same, often as well. Then, if things fall apart because they just naturally did not work out for their personalities or wants, there will be an audience feeding both sides about the flaws of the person they were with... this is suppose to be comfort.. to point out flaws about someone. And, often times, the person that is no longer in the relationship with someone that they used to praise and care about and defend and love will become the target of attack and condemnation and blame.
But, it's not just in dating that we see this. From politics to jobs to religion, it is part of their absolute STRUCTURE. Indeed, religion is often BUILT on finding flaws in others, or as they would call them ... sins. And, this is supposed to be a good thing. Some people know that I finished a Bible degree, once upon a time. I also finished all but one course of a seminary degree. Do you know what that last course was that I refused to do and why I refused it? It REQUIRED you to go out in the streets and tell someone how they are a sinner and bound for hell.. the Roman Road, as it was called. I could not and do not balance that with the love of God, so I walked away. Many, especially those in churches would disagree with my choices and probably FIND FAULT.. i.e. sin.. in my choice, as well. Indeed, I can think of a passage that they would quote that would say that because I "took my hand off the plow" God would curse me. If that was the case, I'd happily be cursed. However, that isn't the God that I believe would also be called... LOVE, even if that God is not found in most churches or indeed in many Bible passages.
But, I say all of that to say this. We live in a culture that values and promotes attack and finding fault. But, I believe in the potential of people that can give grace to themselves and others around them to have peace, connection, and care... even if that culture is now found ... in the dark.
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