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The Dark Chroniciles: Act 1.. Post Parental

I had a revelation, today, as I was sitting at work and thinking of how my life had played out, as I discussed the transition that I was forced to face as my ex turned my kids against me and the fact that among my peers I keep running into the SAME lifestyle change challenge in the lives of the women that I know and meet.  Across the board, I see so many struggling with a transition that is often noted but rarely discussed in much depth.  Yet, I have.. as I noted.. been forced to face it head on.  This is the challenge of the empty nest, and it is the first of a new series of posts that I intend to do.. The Dark Chronicles. Why do I call it that?  It is because I have an immense experience of life in experiences and surviving and thriving past very dark chapters in people's lives... chapters that most prefer not to discuss and consider evil to have faced.  Yet, I have learned that they are often important and very educational.  So, while you may choose to c...
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Recent posts

Stay True

Right now, the most viewed movie of all time on Netflix is Kpop Demon Hunters, and I have loved it.  A lot of people love it.  Few people talk about what it is about, however.  It has actually dovetailed very perfectly with a lot of very similar realizations in my own life, so I will touch on it. For those that don't know much about my religious and non religious past or have been readers long enough of this blog to hear about my many posts over the past few years talking about the value of darkness, I plan to connect and extend that, here as well.   I have always been transparent about my questioning of organized religion and my independence of religious thought, even when at times I dated very religious people.  I never hid that aspect of my thinking from them.  Several of them would at the start tell me that they didn't expect me to change and adopt their way of thinking or even attend their church... claims that without fail would be proven to be j...
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Seek Advice Then Act on Your Own

I have been thinking about writing this blog for a little bit, but I developed it a lot more in my mind over the course of the day.   I believe in getting information from a variety of sources.  I have on my friends and follow lists people that I disagree with in different directions.  Some of my closest friends to whom I go for advice are diametrically opposed, and I will go to people from different points of view with the same questions, IN ORDER to get opposing information.  why?  I know that I don't know everything.  I know that I am often led by emotions, and it is important at times to get information from people that are rational.  I know that I am independent, but it is important to get information from those on the extremes.  I know I have a limited amount of knowledge, so I try to get information from those with more relevant knowledge, and I think that is an important thing to pursue.  We USED to have a thing called "liberal e...
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Breathe

It's been quite a bit since my last blog post, so I thought I would do another.  I've made some real personal progress in the last few weeks in terms of healing and growth and happiness.  I won't be going into all the details, but maybe a few in context with some general themes that I think are important to remember and realize. 1.  Your life is your own.   It took me many years to learn this lesson, and I forget it at times.  Your life is your own.  It is yours to gift to some at times to those that are worthy, and it is yours to withdraw, if it is not a good fit or if the gift is refused.  You do not owe anyone, anything.  And, no one owes you anything.  This is true of friendships and more.  The last thing that I want in my life is anyone feeling they have to like me or return any favors to me out of guilt or obligation or even for repentance.  Anyone that has wronged me is forgiven, because I don't think that way.  I d...
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Dark Side of Destiny

I've been reflecting of late on the dark side of destiny.  There has been so many times in my life that something happened that I did not like (but sometimes deserved).  And, I felt like.. God.. or the universe.. must hate me.  Then, as time progressed, the results of that event led me to either a situation that was good for me or good for someone else... or both.  I feel like I'm in a situation like that, right now, though I will not be going into details of that for a little while.  But, I will refer to other examples and speak generally about it. For example, a few years ago, I was undergoing retina eye surgeries, which wrecked havok on my finances, my friendships, and more.  I was half a country away from my family and relatives in that time.  Then, my first ex decided to display her paranoia in her diagnosed Mania and deny , my custody times of my youngest child in violation of our custody agreement, b,ecause she didn't feel I was a good influence...
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Priority and Time

When we mail things, there are different types of service levels that we can choose.  If someone pays for "priority" level, it gets there faster.  Why?  Because, the post office knows that this one is important and therefore it gets more time and attention than other items.  The same can be said for anything else in our lives. New Year's resolutions don't tend to last, very long.  People begin them, but other things pop up that they need to do and time slips away.  Soon, those who made the resolutions surrender the goal.  It wasn't that it wasn't something they desired or wanted to have.  It just fell to the end of the list to do. I like to read.  But, my day gets busy and stressful.  So, after things get done, I consider reading but find myself too exhausted to take the time to read.  Again.  It isn't that it is something that I don't want to do.  It's just that the place it is put in my list determines how much time I pu...
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Deep Calleth to Deep

 "Deep calls to deep..." Psalm 42:7 There are many stages and steps after a breakup.  In following mine, I will be saying nothing negative about her for several reasons, but I will be speaking about myself and my thoughts and feelings on breakups and restarts in general.  I was holding off doing so in part because I felt that being MYSELF must have led to this end.  So, doubting myself I withdrew for a while.  However, especially in the past few days, I have begun to realize how dumb that would be.   It was a lesson I learned many years ago in context of other ended relationships or dating attempts, and I had forgotten it, til now.  Basically, someone's inability to appreciate the actions, manners, and qualities that make you.. you.. is not a reflection on you but on them.  I do not mean that in a negative way.  What I mean is that it only reveals that if they cannot appreciate you for being you, you would feel always like you had to cha...
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