Thinking Comes Later

Not everyone processes the same.  I've been thinking more and more as the years go by that we err in classifying all humans as one species.  In a very real fashion, one person could not be more different than another in how they perceive and respond to the world, languages they speak (verbal, written, body, love, and more) and in so many different ways.  That doesn't mean that they are not all valid, and it does not even mean that you should stay within your type of personality.  But, it does mean we should not perceive others and try to decode them using ourselves as the Babel stone.  

One of my favorite movies is Finding Forester.  As someone that loves to write, this is a gem of a movie to watch, and it has a lot of wonderful life lessons too.  In one scene in the movie, one character (played by Sean Connery) is asking the younger person he is trying to tutor why he is not writing.  The younger character says he is thinking, Forester's response is..

"No thinking – that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is to write, not to think!"

I was analyzing different personality types, today, because... that's what I do.. think about things, oftentimes.  And, I was thinking how I would have a difficulty in being able to understand why someone that is relationship avoidant would do things or even to understand what they are meaning in doing them.  They tend to put a lot of thought into what they SHOULD do and then allow themselves to follow their emotions to do one thing or another.  Meanwhile, I am over here determining what I should do BY what I am doing and experiencing and learning as I go.

I've had this problem with other people in many different ways, not just in terms of relationships.  Sometimes, I will be thinking aloud and exploring different ideas.. sometimes even contradictory ones.  Indeed, I would say I would WELCOME contradictory ones.  I like to have friends, for example, from different points of view to challenge me as I think aloud.  Then, though the liberal arts discussion that ensues, I am able to determine the correct concept to believe or path to follow.  However, to OTHER people, they are over there asking what my point is that I am trying to say or conclusion that I am communicating, while I am like... I don't know yet... that's why I am communicating to find out.

No one is the same, and every way of thinking is valid and has purpose.  That is the main thing I hope you take from this post.  But, as subset of the point that is applicable to this blog is this, though you may disagree.  I think in order for you to follow your path to happiness, it is important to figure OUT your path to happiness.  And, deciding what that is may require a period of testing and consideration, if you are like me.  If so, I would say ... test on... keep trying and observing and learning.  It is NOT a comfortable way of figuring it out, and it is messy and inefficient.  However, if that is how you happen to be, follow it till you figure it out.  Others that cannot understand or respect that about you invalidate themselves in the process, since they would have to live with you like that, afterwards... and that is important information to know, as well.  Live. Love, Laugh. Learn.  You'll figure it out.