Agency - You Are Responsible

It is not only a shame but a waste of time that so many of us over our lives spent so much of our time trying to determine and to argue who is to blame for our current condition or current struggles or for why we do not have this thing or that thing.  At times, I have been part of those that engaged in that kind of analysis but not recently.  Most of my life, though, I spend my time trying to find solutions or ways to do things better so that my results turn out better and so that I can become better.

However, victimology has become so popular, today.  Victimology was the name of a distance education course that I did one semester in a pass / fail course just for fun from the University of Indiana.  In the course, there were a lot of textbooks, and it was more structured as a sociology course.  So, rather than making conclusions the point of the course was simply to present facts and society trends.  I could have never guessed that this course would have so much relevance in our current day.  

The highlight of the course was the fact that so many different cultures were raise to believe that their current condition was the result of THIS group or that group and to totally bypass the fact that everyone.. every single person.. has agency over their own life.

What do I mean by agency.  I mean the ability to act on behalf of someone.  That is what that word means.  Sometimes, we can delegate that to another person, though I would exercise caution in doing that.  But, the PRIMARY person with authority and ability to act for your life is YOU.  It is like the quote that the best way to predict your life is to create it.

In reality, you cannot blame anyone else for your sequence of events that happen in your life.. or at least not solely responsible.  We all in some way make a choice.. to stay, to love, to invest our time, to sacrifice, and so forth.  Can someone take advantage of that.  Yes.  But, you also could be responsible for not speaking up about your own needs or your own boundaries.  You also chose to give to them, and giving is a good thing in this world, within reason.  But, none of our past was written without our consent.

So carrry that forward to the present and the future.  Who has the most authority and ability to impact our lives?  We do.  So, when difficulties come, as I aid it is a waste of time and energy to spend our time looking for blame rather than looking for how to fix a situation or how to move on to other alternative paths.

So, do not forget that the person with the greatest agency for your life is you, and then take the time to love yourself enough to choose good paths that can lead you to happy outcomes.