Forward to Happiness

 When I was in the military, and they were training us for responding to a gas attack, they told you to put on your own gas mask first.  Then, you can attend to others with their masks.  It seems odd that the first step in caring for others is to care for yourself.  However, even Jesus in the Bible says to love others AS you are already loving yourself.  It begins with self care and love.  You can’t pour out of an empty cup. I have a problem of giving till I’m dry to others that give nothing back.  Then, I feel like a failure for having nothing left to give.  Indeed, my ex’s that gave nothing back judged me for having nothing to give in the end or my choice to stop giving one way to them.  I was so wrapped up in defining myself by seeking their validation that I accepted their judgment and felt bad for ending my self sacrifice.  But, someone that truly loved you would not be seeking you to be less or sacrifice but would want you to be mo...

 You know the lyrics.. “In every life we have some trouble But when you worry, you make it double Don't worry, be happy Don't worry, be happy now Don't worry Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) Be happy (Ooh-ooh-ooh) Don't worry, be happy (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) Don't worry (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) Be happy (Ooh-ooh-ooh) Don't worry, be happy” This is an important truth I have reflected on over this week… one I used to know well and post about.  What is worry?  It’s fear.  What benefit comes from being fearful over the future.  What’s going to happen is going to happen.  Yes, you can prepare for it, but if you fear over it, you just end up losing your balance and your peace.  It’s much better to just be your happy self and make others happy.   I know it’s not easy, especially when you have major stuff affecting your life.  In two days, I’ll be arriving at a hospital for a surgery with weeks of recovery, after.  But… that’s going to be the case...

  A long time ago, a popular car bumper sticker and T-shirt said, “Sh.t happens”… with all the letters but running a blog, here… ha.  The point was to say that you can’t always control what happens in your life.  That is repeated a lot out there, including a coffee cup I picked up when I worked in the kitchen and home department of a Dillards.  I like it better… LIFE happens, because it’s often the story we all face in varying degrees.  The Bible puts it that the rain falls on the just and the unjust.  We all have struggles, but we don’t have to let them define us… nor rob us of happiness that can be happening at the same time. I am in the middle of a challenge that hit me, and for a little while I let it define me… rob me.  I mean.. I didn’t completely cut myself off from the outside world, and my time with others helped me escape the bottoms of depression, but I did touch on depression and let it have a bigger hold on me than it should have had. ...

The other night, I watched a couple movies about being happy being single that were recommended by a friend of mine. The first was How to Be Single, and the other was He's Just Not That Into You.. the first probably more about being happy being single, but there are elements of the 2nd that is good, including the final monologue, which I will quote. "And maybe this happy ending doesn't include a wonderful guy. Maybe it's you... ...on your own... ...picking up the pieces and starting over. Freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just... ...moving on.... Or maybe the happy ending is this: Knowing that through all the unreturned phone calls and broken hearts... ...through all the blunders and misread signals... ...through all of the pain and embarrassment... ...you never, ever gave up hope." The Past Let's begin with my childhood.  Some people had a wonderfully loving and blessed childhood.  That's great for them.  I ...

You know the phrase… you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar.  Aside from wondering why you’re trying to please FLIES, the point is that people will want to be around you more if you are nice than bitter. Those newest to my page.. say within 2023.. will find this harder to believe, but I used to be very… vinegar.  I spoke my mind about my independent political leanings, my questions about the vaccines, and more.  I felt like some things needed to get said, and I was contributing to the great societal discussion… I didn’t mind opposition.  I liked it when people were honestly thinking, even if I disagreed and often found them a source of information to educate me, as well… though there were times I took it personally. However, what I found was that most people have resistance to opposing views and harden their shells and positions upon hearing different views.  Rather than changing minds, I was reinforcing them.  Further, I lost friends and turned of...

More simple echoes of joy from my past with commentary.  Again, relationships CAN be a part of joy, but joy is more simplistic and broad… In no order but as it comes to me.. - my first two years of college were full of many joys.  I think they often play a big part in helping someone become who they will be.  My first year, more joys would come from my work than my classes.  I worked at a movie theater… AMC in Lakeland.  I worked my way up from being an usher to concession to usher trainer, and finally projectionist.  I literally put the movies together (back when they had film.. I bet it’s not that way, now) and fixed breaks and more.  It felt nice to have such trust and influence, even if it was barely paid more than minimum wage.  I enjoyed going to free films (sometimes with someone.. I was wearing contacts and was more popular) but sometimes on my own, and it felt great to be making money to pay rent for an apartment that I shared with two gu...

If you’re familiar with this blog address (before I deleted it for a few months), you had come to expect a certain type of posts.  It’s going to be different, now.  Please, give me a few minutes to explain my new direction, though.  You may find the new direction much more relevant and useful. Forward to Happiness was initially set up as a response to my divorce, and I processed out loud a bit to help others in similar situations learn from my mistakes and my lessons learned.  It pointed towards new happiness, but it tended to point in only one direction.. towards finding new love and romance.  That is extremely short sighted and somewhat inaccurate.  While romance CAN be an element in a happy life, there are two fatal flaws in that thinking in opposite direction. First, romance is much more than happiness.  It is also pain and struggle.  When your partner hurts, you hurt… or they hurt for you in your struggles.  Or, it’s not happy OR sad fee...