Monday, August 14, 2023

Honey and Vinegar

You know the phrase… you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar.  Aside from wondering why you’re trying to please FLIES, the point is that people will want to be around you more if you are nice than bitter.

Those newest to my page.. say within 2023.. will find this harder to believe, but I used to be very… vinegar.  I spoke my mind about my independent political leanings, my questions about the vaccines, and more.  I felt like some things needed to get said, and I was contributing to the great societal discussion… I didn’t mind opposition.  I liked it when people were honestly thinking, even if I disagreed and often found them a source of information to educate me, as well… though there were times I took it personally.

However, what I found was that most people have resistance to opposing views and harden their shells and positions upon hearing different views.  Rather than changing minds, I was reinforcing them.  Further, I lost friends and turned off acquaintances.. both for my views and for being openly political.  Once upon a time, it was a firm rule that at the dinner table you did not speak of politics, religion, or other controversial things.

But, while my personal life took a toll, society grew more and more divided and nothing was improved.  I came to value recognition of the good in others, more than being right… unity over victory.  So, I stopped being political at all, publicly.  Instead of being critical, I made people happy.. said positive things and listened to others and just focused on being happier.

As a result, I have stronger friendships with people than ever.. even among those with whom I used to publicly disagree.  I have more peace in my day, and… society remains as broken as ever.. but not in my feed or my conversations.  I used to have rules like I see among those that date not to date someone that didn’t agree.. but if you don’t talk about controversial things, the only thing that should matter is.. do they love you.  So, I hope this will help others to find a path to happier days.

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