Strut

I have been doing a lot of fitness over the last half year.  I got back into running in the course of it.  Really, it began in October, but the first few months didn't really accomplish much for me, as I was not monitoring my diet and wasn't excercising with long distance walks or running.  But, as part of my desire to become the best version of myself that I could be, I decided to dedicate myself to giving 1myself the best health and body that I was capable of doing.  So, since October, I have lost 21 pounds and have done a couple official runs in the last few months.  

My first official run was a long one.. 5 miles.  I didn't focus on speed for that one.  I just wanted to finish.  So, for a month I would gradually increase my run distance and was running often.  After training for it, I did complete the 5 mile run.. with a not so great time but did finish.  So, my next goal was speed.  In the 5k that I just did, I had a run pace in the 13 minute range.. 13:41.  I have to go back years to find a run that I did at a faster pace.  

Between the running and the weight loss, I began to feel really good about myself.. how I looked, what I had accomplished, etc.  And, I noticed something.  When I was walking, I was not looking down at the ground as much.  I was walking upright and looking forward.  And, I walked with the confidence of someone that felt they deserved to be there and had was worthy, which is something of which I didn't even fully know I was doubting.

This, and other self improvement and self love meditations, has changed my perspective in many ways.  I do not feel that I have to convince anyone to like me.  I like me.  If they do not, they can move along.   I am not going to be everyone's cup of tea.

One slightly tangental note ... Along with this improvement and meditation, I was forced to remain in an uncomfortable environment, and that disontent led me to want to change things in my life, as I have noted in general posts over the last months.  However, being forced to remain in it has had another aspect.  Being unable to run away from it, I had to face it and deal with it.  This is where the self love and confidence comes into play.  I still wish to move to a better environment, but what I have accoplished is knowing I don't HAVE to run away.  I am just as worthy of being here as anyone else, and I can go to events and enjoy my days knowing that.  That said, choosing my BEST environment with the most potential for future happiness is still my responsibility.

So, I don't know what it would be for you, but find something that makes YOU proud of you.. look at your accomplishments and your qualities that you love.  The world may be depressing around you, but you can strut with a little confident swagger, wherever you go, knowing you deserve to be there and respected even if only by yourself.