That's Not a Relationship

I did something similar in the last week on my social media, but I will do it here to expand and explain it, more.  As with anything that I write, it will be general and conceptual.  It is not meant to say anything about anyone in particular, and indeed I will be first to note for this post that I have been guilty of the misunderstanding a lot, myself.  However, when I get a realization about something I like to write it to help others that have not realized it, yet.  

For a lot of my life, I have thought I had an understanding about what a romantic thing would be to do for someone and what distinguished a relationship.  However, I realized in my times of personal and general reflection that I had a misunderstanding, which I think a lot of people out there also shared.  So, for this post, I want to write about what a relationship is NOT.  There will be a lot of people out there with strong disagreements, likely.  That's fine.  This is just my own realization.  You are free to disgree with me on it.

First, a relationship is not taking care of someone or providing for someone.  Why do I say that?  Because you can and likely will take care of and provide for many people in your life, not the least of which is your children.  Are you in a romantic relationship with your kids?  I seriously hope not.

Similarly, a relationship is not buying presents for someone.  Again, same reason, you will give gifts to many different people in your life.

A relationship is not giving someone encouragement and support.  A relationship is not receiving anything listed above or more.  In fact, simply receiving something is a passive response, not an active participation in anything.  A relationship is not cooking for someone.  I cook for people that are just friends, as well.  

I can go on, but I think you get the point.  Am I saying these things should not be present?  I sincerely hope they are in some degree with someone I will be with someday.  But, those qualities by themselves is not romance and is not a relationship.  Indeed, often when that is all that remains it becomes mechanical and mundane and begins to fade away.

In my opinion, a romantic relationship is found in the little things that express romantic interest and attraction and romantic love for someone.  It is in the little notes left for them to find, the little touches when they were not expecting it, the cuddles and hand holding of two people empowered by those touches, the smiles and laughs that no one else gets to see, and literally TELLING them how you feel about them from the weakness in the knees to the warm love in the heart.

I understand that no everyone is comfortable with emotions, so the list above can be modified and expanded as per your situation, but I do believe that it must be present with active influence from both sides, or... what exactly is your reason for not just being single?   In my own life, I am content to be single and enjoy my time with friends and family and more, until there is some expression of this from someone in whom I feel the same way.  I do not plan to cheapen the dream, and I don't think you should do so, either.  But, your story is your story, and I respect your ability to write it how you will.  I am just giving what I feel will make it even better.  Have a good weekend. :)