There's a cute little saying that I've heard and been tempted in the past to believe that says you are the sun of your five closest connections. That sounds nice, especially to extroverted people with a lot of connections. But, I no longer believe it is healthy to define yourself by others.
Why? I have had a lot of different life stages in my life, and I have had my whole social world change many times, including recent years. If your identity is based on others, such kinds of changes can make you feel like your whole identity is stripped away, but in rebuilding myself each time I found my foundation in... myself.
I would take time to remember what it was that I liked and wanted and enjoyed, not having to check with anyone else, first. That allowed me to become someone that laughed and lived life on my own, which inevitably would attract someone. At that point, believing the social identity principle, I would change to be more like them and the cycle could start all over again.
In my own life, this cycle will never start again. I plan to continue to be me, even if I ever get in a new relationship. If that makes others upset that wants to mold me, they can walk away. But, if someone is going to love me, they are going to love ME.
So, I hope you realize you are not the sum of others. You are you, and the right people will appreciate that person and support you, as you. Then, YOU can give to those other 5 people a breath of fresh air that they might just be looking to meet.
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