I've been thinking for a bit that I wanted to do a lesson post for young men based on my successes and failures over the years... more failures than successes. So, here goes..
This post will cover different areas of life, but I want to start with interaction with women, because that will be on the minds of most young men. The advice will be from experience and not the general advice you see out there, because I don't think that advice is very helpful being sanitized to only be the things people say and repeat and not the actual effective advice. And, it won't necessarily align with what I've said over the years, as I have learned along the way.
The first thing you need to recognize is that men and women are not the same. I'm not talking about sex vs gender here. I'm a big proponent of transgender people, so take my "men" and "women" to reflect to those genders chosen.. regardless of sex. If you feel it is uneven what you give vs what you get, it probably is...and is uneven in other areas to you. Why? That's your area to provide. Further, women are more sensitive, so they look for and expect certain tender emotionally supportive things that the stereotypical male does not seek and thus women are not conditioned to provide. The only reason a relationship is even important is that you are different and can provide things to each other that we need.
Next, the woman is always right...if you want to stay in the relationship. If it is toxic like my first ex was... leave. Otherwise, happy wife, happy life, as they used to say. I know that can feel like a hard pill to swallow at times, but after decades of learning I've determined this will always be true. If she says she wants more.. give more. If it's minor let it go. The price of being right is often the price of being alone.
Take pride in working. I'm not saying women should not work. I think it's good advice for them, too. Many times I was looking for validation of my value in others that can easily be found in successful projects at work, promotions, or just a good day of earnings if you are self employed. Make your own validation by doing the things you know is best for you and others.
Counter to that point, though. Work is not your life. Every job I have ever had that had a work community that I felt needed me and would miss me very quickly replaced me and most never spoke to me, again. You are just a cog in a very old machine. Spend time with your family and enjoy the days you have on Earth. If you can't do that with less money, you definitely won't with more money.
Finally, take time for yourself... golf, fitness, watch sports, to to concerts, listen to music and make playlists, go get drinks... whatever is your thing. Don't spend all your time focusing on others. They probably want time for themselves, too... so take the kids so your wife can have it, too, at times.
That's enough for now. Hope it helps.
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