Forward to Happiness

Part of the reason so many live disillusioned lives of depression is found in one society problem that has existed all my life and will probably always exist.  We celebrate fantasies and literally tell and expect people living dark days to keep silent.  We... don't say bad things out loud.  I was never very good at that rule. The unfortunate result, of course, is that no one can learn from the failures of others, so we keep having to learn them over and over like one of those movies of days on repeat.  I try to make a difference in that area and honestly feel peace only when the truth is spoken.  I thought it would be good to post a few of those truths that are known to those that lived them but kept silent from those about to live them. 1.  You can do everything right and still lose... often that's the case, in fact.   Why?  Well... in part it us because while you're living a code of ethics, others are ... not.  So, you become easy bait...

 In The Holiday, you have this exchange.. Abbott : Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend. Iris : You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake! Arthur, I've been going to a therapist for three years, and she's never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant. The last several weeks, I have been taking more personal control over the direction of my life, instead of letting others or circumstances direction it.  As a result, I have peace... like... all the time.  I do believe that I will see a payoff for my efforts... my psychic ability to predict how things go has been ringing off the hook... that's an old phone saying for younger generations.  It just means I feel it coming.... AFTER I began acting to bring it about on my own and stop waiting for God or fate ...

I've been watching season two of Snowpiercer over the last week.  The show is a great vehicle for an example of human society, especially in our time but in all times.  Why?  Because humans are humans.   I thought I'd go through several lessons we can glean from the show. People have been trying to own other people for thousands of years.  There is the literal examples of slavery over the centuries, but apart from that we still see examples.  It usually begins with something like... I am paying for things or I own something that provides or I am keeping you safe.  Therefore, the story goes, you owe me.  You can see examples in parents, spouses, bosses, religious dieties, and more.  Authority in their mind is due, and those that refuse to acknowledge it are evil for failing to suck up and praise rhem.  That... is Mr Wilford, played by Sean Bean.  Its not enough for him to seek to control the train... that's just a machine. ...

 I'm going to combine several things from past posts and new thoughts in this post. Concepts I've mentioned, before: 1.  From the book Dopamine Nation, I did several posts that focused on how we want what feels good over what is functional.  Indeed, there is a meme out there of people lined up for meds, while the space in front of "life change" was empty. 2.  I used to do several posts in which I noted that progress stems from discontent and that it usually is not the path that is pleasing.  Exercise isn't fun.  Eating well isn't as pleasing as pizza and ice cream.  Work isn't as satisfying in the moment as rest.  Following the path of least resistance and ease will lead you to gain weight, be poor, and fall apart. 3.  Years ago, I did a post about faith... not in God, specifically, but to understand faith as a concept.  I said that true faith quals expectation plus determination.  It says that THIS (whatever it is) WILL happen, bec...

A long time ago in a neighborhood far, far away in the lives of Generation X kids growing up, we would sometimes say, "Get real," when someone was saying something that was "far out" or unrealistic, when something required a realistic perspective.  We knew how to pretend and have fun, but we also knew when you had to take responsibility to put in the work for what you needed.  That's why it wasn't odd to find kids working at an early age doing one thing or another.  I mowed yards, bailed hay, swept floors, picked okra, and more along with working at my dad's workplaces shingling houses, installing insulation, and more.  My first car was.. my car. I paid for it all on my own.  I worked to study to have high grades and win academic competitions.  I didn't expect anyone else to do it for me, and it would have been slightly insulting to ask them to do it for me.  We were responsible for our own lives outcomes. It's easy to forget all that.  It's ...

 Listening to my playlist this morning, I wanted to put down a thought, before I get started with my day planning and acting on new potentials of future. I used to say... years ago.. that the value of an attempt was not determined by how successful it would be in the end.  But... life battle scars and pains over the years makes that hard to really feel true.  But, consider our lives in the grand scheme of life.  We live a life, and then we are gone.  For us, it feels like the center of everything, but for most that are alive today, we are nothing, and we will leave a mark that will be erased within years, very likely.  Even if we leave a historical mark, it will be distorted over time and eventually forgotten or found irrelevant.  So... was our lives important and beautiful?  To us... yes.  And, OBJECTIVELY they can be so, as well... even if no one was there to see or record it.  They are still good. I think this backwards applies, as we...

I've been quiet on the blog and as relates to personal thoughts on social media over the last week.  In part that was because I was dealing with several challenges, especially after my car got hit from behind and made it not legal to drive on the road and likely totalled due to the age of the car and mileage versus the damage.  When that happened, my ability to earn money also came to a screeching halt, as well, with almost nothing in my account, because I had just paid a phone payment right after replacing a tire in the week after paying monthly rent.   When that happened,  I also had to shift into safety and survival mode in Maslow’s pyramid with all my brain power being dedicated to solutions of that.  I couldn't even get to the doctor to get checked out.  But, after many days of calls and claims, I am covered financially for at least long enough to get something else going.   I did have random thoughts and feelings about the situation, to...

As predicted, I missed a few recent thoughts in my last post, so I wanted to go over and expand them Another recent thought was that looking back logically and analytically I must question if looking for a relationship CAUSED much of my problems and self esteem issues.  Why?  The only reason that I felt less than or like a failure was that I was trying to please someone else that wasn't a good match.  When I stopped worrying about doing that, I felt... happier.. in my life. I also felt like I was failing because I was comparing myself to FICTIONAL impressions of how successful and abundant other relationships are in society.  We like to feel that everyone else has a great relationship, while ours fails.  However, that's statistically not true.  Marriage.com statistics say  Some interesting things... - Approximately 70 percent of straight unmarried relationships break up within the first year. - Women are twice as likely to initiate a breakup than men....

I'm going to try to post about recent thoughts, even though I'm tired from a busy week.  But, if I forget some of it, there might be another post, tomorrow. My most recent playlist covers some of the feelings and stages, as has some of the other recent ones and some social media shares and such.  It's all helpful, as I have been struggling through feeling stuck in my attempts to set a new destination point or path to get me from my current state to a happy and inspired one.  I have a few guideposts to help... I feel it is important to be within driving distance of family.  I liked some parts of my past life in Oklahoma and recognize that some of the WAYS I sought that happiness doesn't work, so new exploration would be useful.  But, it's also been busy weeks full of financial challenges and more.  That makes it hard to process, but I have a few thoughts from the week to help along that way.  These won't necessarily be in any order.  Like I said.....

 There have been made ample number of movies about WWII or other war prisoners of war that didn't give their guards the satisfaction of breaking them.  They kept their spirit, even against great odds and certainty of defeat... why?  It was because it wasn't ... defeat. Someone can overpower you.  They can defame you.  They can deprive you.  They can do all manner of evil against you.  But, until you actually surrender, you are not defeated.  It's like the campaign that was going for a long time that was focused on the semi colon.  Your story is not done.  You are at the point of... "and then" in the story.  It's the part when you make your next move to rise. Those that oppose you don't want you to rise.  They don't want you to hope.  They don't want you to win.  There is a lot of memes out there that say that your friends list contains several that want you to fail.  I would hope that is not the case with mine....

I helped someone on the streets, today, and it's not something new to me and most of the time I don't mention that I did it.  However, this one goes to a larger point that is actually helping me process my own issues.  I had just dropped off a delivery in the town of my ex of all places.  As I was leaving the area, an old black woman asked if I could give her a ride over to the cricket store a few miles away.  I agreed and on the way reflected on how hot the day was getting and the fact that she was in a very arrogantly rich town and that very likely she would not get a ride from anyone else.  I mentioned that it was hot to be walking, and she said she walks everywhere, since Firestone took 1300 dollars from her and then her car broke down two days later.  In the few minutes of the ride, she told me about how she had lost her husband and couldn't get to where he was being buried.  As I dropped her off, she asked if I had two dollars, so I gave her the ...