Ask Why

There is a wonderful scene in Ted Lasso that I have in my most recent Youtube playlist where Ted is playing darts with his boss's ex, who underestimated his ability.  Ted gives this speech about being underestimated most of his life, and he says that he finally understood that their problem wasn't with him but was because they were judgmental, not curious, because a curious person would ask if he had played darts, which he had.

So many people are quick to make snap decisions about someone or even worse to make determined judgments about someone and then to so commit to that judgment that they will not only not waver from the judgment but will invest in making sure that others hold the same opinion and to point out enough flaws to justify their condemnation, as well.  You see this on both sides, politically, and it is one reason that I withhold endorsement from either side, as I have seen both do it.

But, to move off of politics or even personal interactions, it touches on a bigger factor, and that is that in order to really make wise decisions in this life and to grow, we must develop a habit of asking... why.  WHY did that thing happen in my life?  WHY do I respond the way that I do?  WHY am I not reaching my goals?  WHY am I failing at my attempts at dating, friendships, work life balance, hobby success, finding peace, finding joy, BEING joy and peace and love to others, and more.  If you do not ask, you will not change.  If you do not change your way about doing things from your patterns, you can only expect the same results.  I routinely evaluate the things that I am doing to determine if there is a better way of doing it, and I intentionally surround myself with people that disagree so that I will get all sides of an issue and to have someone to tell me things that I don't want to hear.  How else can you grow, if you only listen to those that are like you.

So, this week, I would simply say this.. ask why... ask it about yourself. Ask it about your habits.  Ask it about your opinions.  Ask it about your choices.  Ask it about the things that others accept without question.  And, ask it about things that have no bearing on you at all, if only to truly understand another person or the world in which we live.  I look forward to the wonderful world that you will discover within you and outside you.  Have fun.