Raise the Bar on Yourself

I have had a mentality in the past that seemed right at the time and think there is a point in it for your self respect, but I think upon reflection that it is also damaging to your self respect.  Thinking it over fresh, I don't think I'd share the mentality, now.

What I used to feel and do was that I didn't want someone choosing me or liking me for superficial reasons.  So, I'd wear glasses or dress casual on many days or more.  I wanted them to like me for me and not for superficial reasons.  I thought this was supporting my self respect.  However, as I've been taking time to improve myself more and more.  I feel good when I look good or dress well... regardless of whether others notice.  I'm not doing it for them.

But, why CAN'T I do it for them, too.  This is a new way of thinking for me, so I'm exploring it.  Not everyone is meant to be your forever person, but they can be a fun part of your life or good to be in your life.  I don't mean it solely sexually, but to use that to make the point... I don't need to understand the lifestory of someone I see on porn, nor do people need to have a connection that lasts with a book or movie character for them to masturbate to that, either.

So.. to bring it back to being PG... if I can enjoy others for even just a conversation or friendly company or to admire... why should I fail at being the best I can be for them.  Making myself less to test their interest doesn't just send the message that I want someone that will love me at my worst but tells them that's all they should expect.. which I do not want to be true.

So, I will be doing more to improve my appearance and more.. for myself, first, but also because I wouldn't want to present less than my best to others.