There is a show that is on Apple TV right now called Margo's Got Money Troubles and in the show the main character is a single mother that was knocked up by her college professor, who then proceeded to break it off as he was married with kids. She had to pay the bills and was not able to get another job so began an Onlyfans account. It takes off, but then the mother of the man that knocked her up thinks her job will make him and his family look bad. So, she has him sue for full custody to take away her child and calls Family Services on her, as well.. saying she is an unfit mother. I don't want to dwell on this story much, except to use it to introduce the theme of this blog post, as it is a fitting example.
We have this problem in our society. It didn't used to be this way, or it was not to this degree. We have a very polarizing society structure, and suddenly what it means to someone to choose a way of life or thinking means that they feel they must condemn and control people that do not share that point of view. It is not just enough to not be a certain way... they must rid the world of anyone that would disagree or at the very least make them publicly shamed for their choices.
And, so, things become "bad" or "evil" for simply being different. I put those in quotes, because this is not just limited to religious circles, though it is a problem that breeds in religious circles where one feels they must be cleansed and then cleanse others to be holy. But, non religious groups can do the same. And, it is not tied to a single political party, either. It seems that the qualifications to fit in most groups is not what you believe but whether you share their condemnations.
But, my post takes a pivot, here, that many would not do and say things that many will not say, because... well... I think that is my place in life to say the difficult and unpopular truths, and this is a glaring one that will offend many... but.. hold on an try to consider with the same open mind in which you considered Margo, above. So what if they ARE doing something that is BAD or EVIL? Do you know that in their lives it is not actually serving a GOOD purpose or is important for them to be doing?
I drink.. more than a little. All the health books would say I should drink less. All the fitness books would say that I should drink less. I'm NOT gonna drink less. Why? It stills my internal waves and allows me to process in a more calm manner. That may not be true for many, but it is true for me and some of my best writing has been done wasted. It also allows me to be able to enjoy life. I can be at a place or doing a thing that would cause me to get overwhelmed by emotions... or fear (like being on a balcony at a concert or being in a social settle as an introvert) but a few drinks and voila.. my mind is stilled and I can enjoy the moments peacefully and happily. Then, I do another thing... and another.. and soon, I'm feeling more happy on my own or doing things due to all the good times I am having or things I am doing. And, drinking makes that possible.
Then, there is porn. So many people will tell you that porn is bad and evil and demonic in some groups. However, to someone that is hurting from emotional breakups, the choice is to either use porn or to use people. I would not recommend using people, as that will only cause further pains for more involved. Or, maybe you don't need someone in your life right now, but you have sexual needs to satisfy. Surely, the same groups that condemn you for using porn would condemn you for getting into a relationship simply to satisfy their sexual needs.
Those are just a few examples, and I could go on and on. People make life choices that others would not make, and many would condemn those things in their own lives. But, that's the thing.. it isn't in their lives. It has always given me a humorous pause when I see people in happy marriages that have not seen toxic ones or divorce giving advice to those that are in that state. Like.. how do you think you are qualified to understand what they are going through or what they need? You haven't been there.
So, that is how I will end this blog post. Your life is your life, and if everything is rosy.. I am happy for you. A lot of what I write will not make sense to you, but it isn't written from you or for you, so move along. But, if you are someone that is living on the edge and a drink or letting yourself spend some money or another act will keep you going and give you enough self love and foundation to look forward to another day... that is good, and I will defend you being able to make that choice any dam day.