Anyways, as I began reconsidering these things, I still conclude that I hold no ill will towards the past, even if I must move along from it towards a better future. There is a meme that says your past doesn't need you.. your future does. But, I have learned things from the past to bring into the future, and that doesn't mean learned bad things about anyone else. It primarly means learned things about myself, what I need and where I need to have boundaries, for example.
But, somewhere along the months of healing and self reflection, one theme was realizing that there is no one that is completely bad or good, and I am as flawed as the next person. But, I don't believe romance is about finding a perfect person. If we did, we would be deluding ourselves. In Sabrina, one of her friends says to her that illusions are very dangerous, because they have no flaws. I think you can take that different ways, but how I take it is to say that if you put someone on a pedastal, they are bound to fall to your disappointment.
Selena Gomez has a song that I love a lot where she says that she doesn't need perfect, she just needs her man. Similarly, the Veronicas have a song saying that perfect is going out of style. I don't think that any of us really wants perfect, if we really think about it. If we found someone perfect, we would feel inadequate. Rather, we would feel much more comfortable with someone that is as flawed as we and that accepts that we are flawed.
So, I am not going to be looking for or expecting perfect as I go forward. I will be looing for love and grace and romance and peace... more often than not accepting that we cannot always be on point in our lives of stress and distraction. And, I will have boundaries that expects compromise, not complete satisfaction. And, somewhere in the midst of it all, I hope to find a companion that want to experience this life of adventure we are on in a way that makes us both happy. Can I find it? Who knows. But, what's life without dreams to follow?
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