I was watching Practical Magic 2 the other day (good movie), and it got to a scene where one character was going to use great power to get what they wanted. Well, too be fair, at that time all sides were trying to use power to get what they wanted. And, I just had this sudden distaste.. dislike for everything that I was seeing on the screen. I had to get up and go to the bathroom to clear my feelings and process and then came back and continued to process it and to understand why I was having that reaction. And, as I did I thought it was worth sharing, though it is not new to my blog posts of late.
It wasn't out of feeling cynical or doubtful or feeling that it was too optimistic, though in many ways it can be. It was because progressively over years I have come to understand something that gives me great peace and connection to life that is going on around me, something that took me much too long in life to understand and most do not. It is that messy can be good for you.
What do I mean by that? I have spent so much of my life with a picture in my head that I was trying to create or mourn or maintain, or restore. Do not misunderstand me, there is a place for honoring those good times in the past and having hope for your future or even trying to restore some connections. However, it is the control that is always the problem.
We try to control the outcome of so much of our lives. How successful has that been for you? It has not been very successful in my past. That is for good reason. People are not puppets, and life is not a play following a script.
I think God gets that it is hard for us. And, just like I used to think as my children entered their teen years, there are a lot of lessons that they must learn for themselves. So, I think that it is absolutely consistent and important for God to place things in our lives that He knows he will deny us or ask us to wait to receive. It is in those moments when you are forced to process those things that you understand that LIFE is messy, and that isn't the blame of another person or fate or a demon. I think He wants us to understand prayer isn't a magic spell and the Bible a spellbook to get what you want... indeed, spells are not wise for the same reason. There are truths greater than fulfillment. There is peace, self reliance and balance, and hope found in acceptance and growth that will lead you to really become what you and others need.
So, for this blog post, I simply wanted to say that if you are TRULY seeking happiness that remains more than as an answer but a way of life, don't get mad when you do not get what you want but take a beat and learn from it, grow yourself, learn from the journey, and patiently proceed, knowing that in the midst of the mess you will find a much more ordered... you.