You Do You

 I shouldn't have to do this blog, but we are where we are in society because so many don't understand this concept... so I'll be basic.

People often say they should have freedom to be themselves but then feel obligated to tell others what they should or should not do.  I'm always on the side of personal freedom and against restrictions on others.  If I don't like what their freedom looks like, I can always choose not to be in their sphere of influence.  That's how freedom works.  

However, this also applies to personality choices.  In the last several months, I've had many tell me I shouldn't question things politically .. saying peace is more important.  While that is good advice for some in their roles in society, it would be a horrible thing for me to do in my job or many others in roles of justice, journalism, defense and more.  Many people serve a great purpose in questioning things and even causing conflicts to further free thought.

I just use that as one example, but the overall theme would simply be no one should use their own preferences to decide what is best for others or what would make them happy. Someone with a trans child or gay friends would not prosper from being told to be rigid to religious tennant.  More basic.. advice for men and women should be different in some cases.  As a sensitive guy with female friends, I was often counseled that to find love i should just wait for it to find me... which is fine advice if you're a woman as men are expected to make the first move but horrible for a man.  Further, we don't know what the skills, interests, and past of those we are counseling would be.

So, to just conclude this, life goes much better if we stop focusing on what others are doing differently and let them do them, and you just do you.

Energy

 I wrote a book years back that focused on overlapping concepts between Christianity and witchcraft... noting that almost every concept in the church could be found in pagan principles still in use today, which is not surprising since most Christian holidays were set up historically on pagan holiday dates and traditions.  Ultimately, I stopped promoting that book when I lost faith in the church.. not Jesus or the gospels, necessarily.. tho the Bible's development and structure has much to question and almost all seminaries DO question it and reject much of it... a little known but entirely true process called hermeneutics.  I know.. I spent years in those classes.  But... I'm getting off topic.

In that book, I wrote a couple chapters dealing with protecting your energy.  I don't fully accept the absoluteness of those words.. some intermixture of ideas, especially, is important.  However, not everyone is WORTH the effort you make for them... a lesson I learned over and over the hard way.  You can, and should, have disagreements with others in your life.  And, you will have disagreement with those NOT in your life.  It's up to you to decide which is which.  If they connect with you in some interest or are friendly and build you up at times, it's valuable.  But, that doesn't apply to everyone.  Tonight, I went through my friends list.  I didn't remove everyone that didn't interact with me. They have their own lives.  But, I was surprised how many in had on there that had not interacted in a very long time and also posted thing contrary to my own values in almost all ways.  The question then becomes.. why.  That's how I've ended up in the wrong social pond and focused on the approval of the wrong crowd so often in my life.  So, I removed about 15.  Immediately, I felt the ENERGY in my social circle elevate and felt much safer to get myself there.  

There is a trend in some social platforms.. cough cough X.. to throw off all limits and restrictions and be an open target.  Indeed, Elon recently removed your ability to block people, despite the growing culture of bullies or worse.  I think you must be in the world to sone degree, but you also are responsible for protecting your peace.  So, I'm putting effort into limiting some from my life and seeking out others to invite, so that my social world is a safe place to be, and I would recommend you do the same.. especially now.

Boycott

I have been wrong.  I felt that we should push for unity.  I felt that the solution to the hatred of the politically right was to push for love and not answer them in like terms.   After all, that's what they always say after breakups... take the high road.  I felt that message would resonate with even Republicans and draw the party back from the extreme rhetoric and fascism being birthed.  I was wrong.  The Republican party STILL chose the hatred, defended the hatred, and repeated the hatred.  They still with a completely unconflicted conscience would tell you it was the CHRISTIAN thing to turn out immigrant mothers and babies to prison or send them back to the countries they escaped from brutality, to deny food assistance to poor mothers and children who were supposedly lazy or housing to the homeless, to attack children for changing their pronouns, and to defend a convicted felon who has been found guilty of rape in a civil case and openly bragged of sexual assault. There is no more integrity or true Christian faith in the modern religious right.

If there is one thing that the right has very clearly taught America, it is that consistent attacks, blame, and derision of the other side... wins elections.  We tried it the unity seeking way, and the right openly rejected that open hand.. in fact bit it.  There is no negotiating with narcissists.  I should have known that from my own experience with my first ex.  I tried peace and unity with her and even defended her to my children... before my ex would lie to and steal them, because to ALL of the Republican right members, nowadays, their entire judgment of good and evil is ... did they win.  Do they have power over your life to tell you what to do.  In the end, the only solution I had for that ex was to get as far away from her as possible and cease communication.  I didn't understand the "never trump" phrase I used to very often see on dating profiles, but now I do.  I now support isolation from Republicans for your own safety.  Already, post election, Trump is speaking about attacking trans rights "at any age" and denying Hispanics citizenship even if born here.  He is an existential threat to most of America (America is a people not a geography).  And his voters are already attacking others in his name.

I was going to give a specific list of Trump supporter companies to boycott, but it's simple

If ANYONE voted for or helped him, do not buy anything they sell, don't listen to their music, and don't read or watch their media because you KNOW what they do with your dollars.. and that includes churches this Christmas.  Just give the donations directly to social need organizations.  That's the only way the money will get there.

Blog and Media Focus

 I've taken the day to reflect and refocus what will be my highest focus in the years to come, and as this blog is called Forward to Happiness, it must have a political theme after recent results.  I saw many online today claiming "America won"... and I tried with futility to enlighten why that was a false statement... so that is a point of education that must be intertwined, as well.

What is America?  Is it the buildings in D.C.?  No.. from our founding, it was stated clearly that America is "we the people"... and that people is divided, and almost half of that people lost, last night.  It's not like over half will have "won".. either, as almost half of California votes have to be fully counted as well as other Kamala areas, so likely he will have failed to reach 50 percent of the vote for the 3rd time.  But, that's really irrelevant, anyway.  What is America?  We the people doesn't mean the MOST of the people.  It means ALL of the people.. every single minority group IS America, something the right fails to understand.  The things that are important to them are AMERICAN interests.. to say otherwise and to push a singular point of view on others is the definition of fascism... and push they do.  Whether they choose to tell people how they can dress or makeup they are allowed to wear or who they can love or what god they must worship or whether they are ALLOWED to choose a vaccine for their own bodies... it is strikes against freedom.

And, I'm a big believer in freedom.  I always have been.  That has caused me to oppose one political party or another at various times with a defense of personal choices, and that defense is now directed almost entirely at the group that came into power on the message of removing choices, and we are seeing that taking place by that political party in states, already.  This week, the state where I am defined gender by law.  Get that?  You are not even allowed to CHOOSE FOR YOURSELF what pronoun you'd pick, even though making that choice does not harm anyone else for that decision.  The state has also recently mandated that EVERY teacher MUST teach from the Bible in their classes... even if that class is Math and the teacher happens to be athiest or Jewish or Hindu.  I have opposed that as it took place, as well.  Shortly, if Trump is to be believed, he will remove LGBTQ people from the miliary, as he campaigned to do in ads ran on X.  He has also said healthcare will be done by RFK, which has said he wants a nationwide abortion ban, said he wants to ban people from choosing vaccines for their own bodies, and has said he wants to remove floride from water and that he distrusts all medicines made by big pharma as being unsafe... which will lead to long wait times for cures, while people DIE because they won't be given a choice to take what they want to fight their illness.

We are just beginning a VERY fun period, in fact.  Kamala was blamed for every rise in prices, even if those was done by greedy corporate people posting record profits.  Guess what... those greedy corporations won't be choosing LESS profits in the future, so Trump will be to blame for every price increase in the next 4 years.  I truly hope that Kamala stays in the fight as the lead candidate, so she can say the same things about his economy and government that he said about hers.  She's still young, and he LITERALLY cannot run, again.

So, don't give up hope.  Conservatives are LITERALLY dying off.. being an elderly population.. all the younger ones voted for Kamala.  Educated people voted for Kamala.  Women voted for Kamala.  Black men voted for Kamala.  Hispanic women voted for Kamala... and all of these at higher levels than prior elections.  Change is coming, even if Republicans try to deport everyone that is dissimilar to them, and it will happen, eventually.  I am dedicating my blog and media to the defense of those whose freedoms are targeted and to ensuring that every broken campaign promise and economic failure and fascist action is noted of the GOP leadership and every blatant hypocrisy of his supporters.. such as claiming a loving God at Christmas even as they cut poverty food aid and hate migrants like Mary and homeless like Jesus.. is cited, as well.  I will make the proud uncomfortable and comfort the afflicted, and I won't give a SHT if the religious declare that .... unChristian.

Challenge Accepted

There's a slight hope Harris will win, but my own observation so far makes it slight and unlikely.  So, I'm going to bed, but before I do there is several things that must be said and things that must be promised.

First and foremost, if the right thought this would silence me or us, they are wrong.  Unlikely them that votes both FOR abortion and for Trump against abortion in Florida, for minimum wage in some states and for Trump against raising wages in others.. voting for high prices but for someonepromoting price tarrifs... our convictions are not trendy options we can set aside if you want power instead.  Ours are actually based on literal life and death and personal freedom.

So... I will spend the next 4 years noting every single flaw and failure of Trump and every hypocrisy of Republican voters in Trump actions as he does them.  And, I better not hear one Republican tell me to be loyal after 4 years of them attacking Biden and Harris from before day one.

Further, I've observed every time a Republican "friend" repeated smears against LGBTQ people, witches, women's rights, and personal religious freedom or free speech.  So, if they thought they could be that way for their supreme leader and be welcomed after like some bipolar narcissist hero, let me be very clear to say fk up and please stay clear of me.  My boundaries will not let you resume close connection.

My personal life and finances are much better than I was under Trump, last time, and I will continue to prosper without any input by him, and I will succeed as a gd dm liberal inspite of him, associating with other liberals... there's half a country of us.  The ... "winners" can just go suck it in their own private hedonistic island... far away from me.

Acceptance

"Know that they will be loved."  Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

I was going to just do a social media post, but it's blog worthy, as it teaches an important lesson.. albeit painful one on my behalf.  I thought I was just taking a break to watch the movie of the quote, above.  However, it had both political application and personal one.  I won't get into the political one on here.  This post is on the personal one.  And, looking back over the past week, I have been being prepared for it... in true Dr Strange like or divinity fashion.

First... limited backstory, as I have already discussed it at various times and going over it, again, would not be appropriate for the lesson.  My ex in very harsh and deceptive and controlling fashion, as true to my entire experience of being with her controlling me and condemning me when I didn't go alone with her agenda, seized control of and lied to my children to turn them away from me... this, despite all my efforts on her behalf and on behalf of my children for decades.  I would spend a long time mourning the loss and trying to find a way to change my outcome.  Eventually, I would realize that there was nothing I could do but hope that they would realize the truth and come to me... still feeling depressed and stunted from the entire experience.

Then, this week... a quiet voice of reason began to whisper what would come full volume in that quote of the movie, and I literally paused the movie and cried... but tears of release.  What I began to consider... against my will.. was that my ex should have time with her children, and it was a good thing that they had their mom... even IF she was intent to attack and exclude me from their lives.  I do know this... it's one reason I didn't call the cops on her, after I asked my child if I should fight it or not out of not wanting to hurt them by hurting their mom.. taking the courtesy that she would not show to me.

The reality is, even with her religiously judgmental and controlling fashion, she is their mom. She loves them in her own way, which I even said to my child when they were upset at how their mom treated them.  They are being loved, and I am out of the picture... involuntarily but accurately.  

So... I release them.  I have good memories with them, but as I have also been slowly walked to conclude... it's over.  I release my anger at my ex.  I release my desire to bring anything from the past back to the present.  As with Wanda in all of her stories, at some point you have to accept that things have changed and to begin to move forward.  I have already taken steps to that end, but this is me saying I release the pain so that my future can be free to build new joys, knowing as relates to my children.. they are loved.

Personal Update

I haven't done a personal update in a while.  There's certain parts of my life that need not be disclosed, but I do think it's worthwhile to not the other parts, because there's an awesome transition taking place, much like a few years ago when I had about 6 months of transition, as well.  You can generally tell from looking at my playlists.  I create them with guidance from within, and in periods of transition you'll see a lot of new songs and new themes that grow and dominate.. as has been happening for weeks, now.

So, where to begin.  There are several new themes and foundational concepts that are driving me.  

I do not feel the need to justify myself or even in many cases even explain myself.  I spent so much of my life doing that to people that would keep on judging me, anyways.  Further, they aren't "my people" that would understand me, anyways.. so why bother.  Let them go on with their happy delusion.

I do not feel I should hide my experience or the conclusions to which they led me.  It may be unconventional and make some uncomfortable, but then... the things said or concluded come from the evidence of my observations.  If they don't like it, they should have and can always CHANGE it.  If not, I can only conclude what I have observed.

My life is elevating, and it is happening in absence of many past critics.  It is happening in absence of a relationship partner.  It is happening while I'm openly "blasphemous" and heretical to many religious, and I'm glad about that... because otherwise they'd be saying "GOD" was making it happen.  I'm pretty sure those people wouldn't be thinking GOD is on my side (whether or not true), because that makes their perception of what God would bless or curse wrong... and they'd have to stop judging others. 

I'm happy being single.  Will I stay that way?  I don't know.  But, every time I start to consider changing it, I have thoughts of how a relationship was in the past.. not just the rosy moments but periods of self doubt, anxiety, and pains in conflict and collapse.  I am still not sure it's worth it as a whole.  IF it happens the only way I can visualize it is if I just hang out and enjoy experience of things with someone long enough to feel safe with them doing that long term.  So.. we'll see.

Finally, there is no point looking back.  There's nothing for me in the way it used to be.  There's only forward, and that adventure is where all my focus will lie.