Ok. I am going to do the blog post that I mentioned would be coming on social media. As promised, it will be a general post with very little details from my personal past, because those details are A. not important to be said to establish the foundation for the point and B. being protected by me as an application of the point that I will be sharing. It is a post that will run contrary to the procedures and methods of this world, today... and that is both sad and the point.... because we all know it to be true, even though very few will actually live that way.
The first point that I want to establish off the get go that will run afoul of modern mentality is this. Love never dies... it might just live in hidden places and under pain and intentional distraction. It might leave your possession and live within another for a while. It might be seen in another form. However, it never dies. This should not be a surprise to anyone. There is both literary and cultural foundation for this concept. The bible literally says, "Love never ends" or "Love never dies" based on the translation in 1 Cor 13:8. Vincent Van Gogh says, "Love is something eternal—the aspects may change, but not the essence." We all have hope that love will always remain, and we say things like "I'll love you forever" or the "love of my life" and feel sadness when we do not feel that the love is remaining, because the other person might say hurtful things or walk away or more. However, I'd say that oftentimes those are indications that love is, indeed, remaining. If love truly went away, there would be no anger in a breakup. Pain comes from care, and care comes from love. Further, I only use myself as evidence in this without knowing the minds of others, but those with which I have had the most conflict and who have done me the most damage in the past, I have still been concerned for their wellbeing, success, and happiness. It is not a choice between love and pain. It is pain in love. A person without love would not care about what another may be doing or saying or living. They'd be too busy with other things in their lives to even notice.
Next, love is not tied to what you receive. In fact, that is kinda the opposite of the whole existence of love to assume otherwise. Love is a choice. Love is concern for another person. Love is to care for their needs and the desire to help meet those needs. This is not to say that love cannot be intermingled with some of those other themes, some important and others not. Perhaps, someone might think that love is found in loyalty. Some think love is found in someone that is showing care back for you. Some think that love is found in honesty. All of these have value on their own, but... none are actually components of love. Similarly, some might think that love is pain or love is vulnerability or love is being used. Those can be results of love, as can be things like gratitude or self respect or happiness. It should also be noted that just because a love that was shared ceased to be presently active that it is important to go back and reinterpret things to redefine good things as bad to find "closure"... that will not change the existence of love, and it will not lead to closure. It will only deepen a wound to find more reasons to hate.
I've noted this at different times, and I hate to be repetitive, but it is applicable, here. There are a couple movies that I can use as reference points for you to consider, as well as a book that I read in the past year. The movies I would reference would be The Arrival and Interstellar. The book would be The Dispossessed. The concept would be this. Things can be fixed and true in a period of time, even if time moves on and are not longer present. It was true in that moment. It was a true fact in the cycle of the story of life, regardless of the chronological march of time. The dates may change, and events may not be in our view, but they are in fact ETCHED in the walls of time. In those moments in my life, for example, I was happy and connected and joyful and peaceful and fulfilled. It does not mean that I cannot be similarly happy in the future, but it also does not mean that those moments were bad. It would in fact be a lie to say that they were not good. So, rather than follow the way of the world to try to run away from feeling love for a moment in the past, which the struggle only proves the truth of the moment if you have to fight against it... embrace that life is not a straight line and includes change.
Finally, I'd simply say this. Love is love. It remains. It does not mean you can only love one person. It does not mean that you were bad to feel it. It does not mean that it will remain, forever. Let the past remain the past... the love in that moment worthy for the moment and live and love those around you in the current day... as well as those that are no longer part of the story. Indeed, it may be an act of love for them to protect them from your own pain. Just follow these words.. love always, no matter the outcome or the impact on you.. not for you but for them. If you do that, your life will have meaning, and you can carry yourself high to walk into the story to come.
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