It Is That It Is

I'm going to step off the boundaries subject to touch on an adjacent one, which I have noted from time to time.  It is a good fit, here.  I've said a lot of this in the past, but for the same of flow I am just going to say it, again.

When I got a job in Boston, years ago, I kept hearing a phrase repeated there, and I hated how much that I heard it.  People would say, "It is that it is."  On the balance scale of the Serenity Prayer, I have always tended more on the side of "change the things you can change" and not on the "accept the things you cannot change," though as I have grown older I have begun to acknowledge much more in life that we cannot or should not change and have begun to learn to accept that, more often.

Because the fact is that there is much in our lives that cannot change, especially parts that involve other people.  Indeed, you should not expect that anyone else should change who they are for you.  Even in situations where I knew that personality styles between people would clash, I just see that as a sign of finality, because I would not expect someone to change who they are for me, just as I wouldn't expect them to expect me to change who I am for them.  It just..... is that it is.

What you CAN change in those situations is where the adjacent boundaries come into play, and I will note that for just a minute.  You cannot change how others will treat you, but you can change your proximity or closeness of them, if they are not able or willing to make the effort for you.  Your personal boundary can stand on your self respect, when others do not respect yourself.

But, there is a lot that you can change, and the first and most important thing that would fit this category is your mindset, your direction, and your focus of hope.  Your mindset, because if you are still expecting things from things that have not given you reason for that hope, you are not basing your expectation on reality.  There must be... works.. to quote the bible.. for something to be alive.  Your direction, because as I noted in a meme that I shared once, recently, your past does not need you but your future does.  Finally, you can change the focus of your hope, and by that I do NOT mean that you pick someone else to throw your hope behind.  There will be people that are worthy of a "trustfall" as Pink's song says, but I mean the source of your hope is best suited to be within yourself.  So, I will end this blog post with an animated song that communicates this well, so go watch it after reading this.  it is from Frozen 2, and it can be watched by clicking the link, here, Show Yourself.  You are the person you have been looking for.  So, rise and shine.