Forward to Happiness

I grew up a Star Trek fan.  It's one of a few shows that both my father and I watched.  I've watched almost every form the Star Trek universe has taken.  But, Star Trek Next Generation lasted and spawned into Picard, which was also great. In that crew, the captain.. Picard.. had a famous phrase to tell the crew to execute an order.. he'd say... Make it So. Make it so.. not... ask someone else to do it.  Not.. let's hope it happens.  Make it so.. do it your own fckn self.  MAKE it happen.   In my life, I've had disappointment or rejection or failures... EXCEPT when I relied on myself to bring it about.  When it was just me and me, I have very often been successful.  Right now, I'm in the middle of am upswing that began this spring and will continue.. some things are already better.  Others will come.  One job prospect will increase that, but if it doesn't happen another job will bring it about.  But ALL of it began when I g...

First of two blogs I have planned for tonight.  I waited to watch a few Lady Jane Grey episodes.  If you haven't seen it on Amazon Prime, I highly recommend it.  So good. Anyway.. to begin.  Earlier today in a social media share, I used the phrase "successfully single" ... it was saying what would be wrong with someone to be attractive, intelligent, successful and yet single.  I shared saying why must we assume there's something wrong with being successfully single.  It's true on both interpretations of that... successful and single and being successful at being single.  But, I do think it warrants explaining what SINGLE.... is. Single doesn't mean abstinence ... it's not being a monk with no sexual or romantic interests or activities.  It simply means not in a relationship.  Until you get in a relationship, you are...in fact.. single, even as you explore with vigor and the ability to chart your own future.   Florida for the last fe...

 ""Who are YOU?” said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I–I hardly know, sir, just at present– at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”" Alice in Wonderland  It's a valid point.  We all change.  We change from the struggles we face.  We change from what we learn about others and ourselves.  We change from disappointment and pain.. probably mostly that.  However, just like our skin completely replacing itself and our body maturing, who we are is not who we were or who we'll be. One thing is for sure, though.  We are not who others say we are.  They often have a predetermined box they want to fit us in and will not see us in any other way.  If you try to show them who you've been, they'll just say that was an image you tried to show.  Further, the images of others that want to find fault in ...

I've learned a lot of lessons over my life, but this one might be most important to share to help others.  Don't waste your life chasing things not meant right be. I get it.  It's hard to do.  If you're like me, you put everything of yourself into the things you felt worthy to attempt. You don't want to acknowledge it not working .. in PART because it means you made a mistake in choosing the attempt. But, if you spend all your time chasing or mourning what didn't work, you are losing hours and days you can be happy without them.  Notice I didn't say with someone else.  You have to be happy on your own without them, or you'll be looking to the new person to do that the last didn't, which is not fair to you or the new person. Unfortunately, you can't know if something works or not without trying.  So, you have to keep trying with an open mind at the start but also being objective... not looking for faults just being realistic.. and willing to walk ...

As I was driving over to initiate my background check for my new job, I wrestled with a little anxiety for a while.  I thought  .. what if they reject me?  I don't have any criminal record.  I am not in default of any government debt.  I haven't been fired from a job.  But, my periods of being out of work due to surgery and forced recovery over the last year SERIOUSLY impacted my credit report.  While it is a small blip in a lifetime credit history it IS something they take into consideration.  So, I questioned... what if they reject me?  What if after all this I am turned down and have to tell others I didn't get the job?  What does that say about me?  What does that mean about my future? Then, I realized several truths I've noted before and let the anxiety go. 1.  It says nothing about me or my future that there are mistakes along an otherwise good path.  Some people, including relationship partners, focus on the negativ...

I've noted the quote several times, so this will just be a chorus harmony. "Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." It is falsely attributed to Einstein, but who cares who actually said it.  It's true. For most of my life, I have been criticized or condemned for being am independent minded person.  I've often said that TRUTH is the real god, and all deities must bow to it.  I approach the world in a factual and logical fashion like spock from Star Trek.  It is or it isn't.   It is that it is, and it isn't that it isn't.  I'm mature enough to recognize that fiction can also be truth... a false message can have true effect.  However, ultimately, even gods are judged by their participation in human life or absence, thereof. Being this kind of INFJ person can be difficult.  Most love to ascribe to political parties or religious sects, so when I point o...

I've used this labor analogy several times over the years, but it's worth repeating.  When you set out to increase yourself or better yourself, you will be met with an opposing force.  In Serendipity, a character quotes Epictetus saying, "If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."  That's generally how it goes, and many will reject you for being so selfish to think about yourself.  But, there will be other more spiritual opposition that you will face. Witches believe in the balance of the spiritual, long before Star Wars invented Jedis.  That's why you always see sacrifice before good in their spells.  Even the very good show Once Upon a Time repeatedly said that magic comes "with a cost" and good things came with negative ones.  It's why witches are so quick to suggest putting away anger rather than using magic to harm someone.  I think there's room for it, if it is more defensive, but that's what they believe,...

I got good employment news, yesterday, but I didn't and don't want to do a post out of ego flattery or speaking down to anyone.  This whole blog, I speak to peers... equals.  The concepts and challenges I face and overcome are the same types everyone faces, and I always write with hope that it benefits others.  So, I wanted to think about how I wanted to write, after getting a job that starts in a month, tentatively, that will literally almost double my income.  As I contemplated it, I realized this story is full of lessons that are good for everyone, so that's how I'll present it. This whole journey began when I was face down for 3 weeks following my 2nd major eye surgery.. 5th or 6th in total of eye procedures.  My budget was stretched out, and I was stressed out.. a feeling that still hasn't gone fully away but is much more manageable and motivating.  I remember laying there thinking.... you are smart... you solve other people's problems all the time....

People want something that's special.  They want something that works and makes them happy, even with the fact that they must work at it to get and maintain it, too.  But, not everything that you work hard at will work.  Sometimes, it's a clash of needs vs abilities.  Or, it's a clash of personality or interests or more.  Sometimes, no matter how hard you work it won't work for you. In order for something to be special, it means other things don't work.  It is the failures that make the success worthy.  In order for something to fail, it must cause discomfort or discontent or pain.  So, the only way you get to special is through failures, discomfort and pain.  It doesn't feel good, but it is planting seeds of joy for when it does work.  I don't have all my works path figured out, but I'm working on a path towards it.  I already have more peace to be moving forward from the failed past, but I know there's likely more failures ahead, ...

I'll lead by giving a link here to a magic performance on a talent show from the internet, where the woman changes clothes in seconds and incorporates magic moves and tricks along the way.  Of course she got all yes votes from the judges.  Why?  We like illusion.  We are more fascinated by illusion than if someone just did something we understand in front of us.  There is a reason people are interested in fantasy movies and shows much more than human life, and the human life shows and movies have none of the mundane elements of our lives like paying bills, watching TV, or more.  No... they have to have people with perfect skin complexion and thin bodies, even though we never see them do skincare or exercise. Indeed, we incorporate illusion into our own lives.  I used to oppose it and want things and people to be real... but... did I?  Do we?  Would you prefer your first date was with someone that didn't dress well, was sweaty from the day, d...

"You get a wonderful view from the point of no return." Making Money  This will be a pretty long post, but. as I sit listening to the wonderful rumble of thunder on a half day off, it is a good way to fill the time.  I've been reading Making Money by Terry Pratchett this week.  Well.. I began reading it in May in Florida from the library there, but I had to return it without the time to get far into it.  However, it kept nagging at the back of my brain that I needed to finish it.  So, I checked out the audiobook and finished it, this week.  Off and ok, I've shared some quotes on social media, but this will be things not shared or shared incompletely.  It solves several personal misalignments and.. I think  .. is good for everyone to consider. "What is the value of a gold coin,  compared to the dexterity of the hand that holds it?" Making Money There is a lot of discussion among characters in the book about the value of... well... value....

I'll lead this off with a quote from Making Money from Terry Pratchett I'm consuming this week... "' What have you done to that man?' said Moist. 'I have made him a well-balanthed perthonality, no longer bethet with ancthietieth, fearth and the demonth of paranoia,' said Igor. Moist glanced at Igor's workbench, a brave thing to do by any standards. On it was a jar with something indistinct floating in it. Moist looked closer, another minor act of heroism when you were in an Igor-rich environment. It was not a happy turnip. It was blotchy. It was bouncing gently from one side of the jar to another, occasionally turning over. 'I see,' said Moist. 'But it would appear, regrettably, that by giving our friend the relaxed and hopeful attitude to life of, not to put too fine a point on it, a turnip, you have also given him the artistic abilities of, and I have no hesitation in using the term again, a turnip.' 'But he ith much happier in him...

I've now won 5 times in the last two weeks in lottery scratch offs and drawings..  all low amounts and might have broke even with what I put into it.  But... it has raised my hope level about my life.  Suddenly, I'm not this cursed person that can't receive any good... which heretofore had a lot of experience level foundation to assume.  It IS possible to have good experiences...IF I am willing to keep buying the tickets or taking the risks. It reminds me of a couple things I've noted in the past.  In baseball, the best batting averages are above .300... that means that less than a third of the time they get to the plate, they will actually get a hit.  They fail twice as many times as they succeed. With lotto that will typically be even less, even for small amounts. There is a phrase attributed to Einstein by many but without much evidence... still it's a good quote to consider.. "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree...

There is a phrase that is used by food and wine tasters that is "clense the palate" and means something you do to erase the prior taste on your tongue to try something new without influence of the last one.  It's something that would be nice if we could apply it to other areas of our lives.  I'm working on it, even though some consider that rude... they think you should continue to bring that bitter taste into every new flavor, which just destroys the experience. Over the last several months, I've been adopting a more logical and realistic approach to life.  It's helped me adjust to situations beyond my control, even when things seemed set to cause me harm.  For example, I knew that it was not healthy for me to be living alone in a state with no relatives and literally having no social contacts for months.  My eye surgery recovery times for most of 7 months showed me that, pretty clearly.  So, I began my exit back to my prior home of familiarity near relati...