Forward to Happiness

 I have been, am being, and will continue being proven right in my assessments and my responses.  As I've said several times, others will come around to seeing it and will continue to reject me even though I spoke the truth that now accept.  Story of my life.  The truth isn't often welcomed, even though it forms the core of my values.  I'm in a good job for that. But, my point for this post is a tangent of that reality.  I'm driven to only accept objective truth, and I hate (strong word but chosen on purpose) those that promote lies to deceive people... and I see that moreso in religious circles than outside TBH.. but both applies.  I hate those that encourage hate of people for simply their choice to exist and live their lives by their choices.  I'm still not to my central point, though. My point is this.  Consider what you need in your close connections and relationships.  The primary thing we need is feeling safe and valued.  If ...

We have just accepted the idea that if someone gets 49 percent of the vote and the other side gets 47 percent that the higher number party must be given absolute authority to dictate their morals upon the 47 percent and that the 47 percent's opinions doesn't matter... their objections don't matter.. their values don't matter.  Even if the winning party had 51 percent that's stupid.  Even if they had 90 percent, that's stupid.  Everyone matters.  Everyone has value.  Everyone is entitled to freedom to live their lives their way in their homes, their beds, and to speak their minds. The little country of Ukraine has been fighting for years against a much bigger Russia that has been determined to extinguish the county of Ukraine.  People have been saying it couldn't win against Russia.  Yet, years later, it is not only still surviving but is causing damage far inside Russia, itself.  Despite many globally saying they just needed to accept Russian rule...

I got in trouble a few years ago on a singles FB group for saying that being single doesn't mean broken or incomplete and one could be happy and single, alone.  Holy fire rained down on me, and I was eventually expelled from the group for holding that position... even if it is not only true but much healthier than being with someone only because you are not respecting or loving yourself and need someone else to give it to you.  Trust me from experience that path will lead to disaster and back to where you began. In both of my marriages, there was a similar problem.  I was giving an insane amount of effort and romance to someone who felt their only necessary participation was to receive it.  My beginning of asking for them to contribute was the end of the relationship, and it should have been a conversation much earlier, before I got so invested. The flip side makes a very strong case.  When I was single before marriage, between marriages, and after, I focused on...

I think this needs to be said, and it is definitely related to happiness. I've said before in my discussion of the value of darkness that conflicts and open speaking of uncomfortable topics is necessary and beneficial to increase public consideration of ideas that maybe they would not consider, otherwise... and thus elections were good for that reason. It's also good to expose the true beliefs of politicians that would rather not have their illusions challenged.  However, I also think it important when consideration of potential mates and dates. Now... I do not believe in only dating one party, and some disagreements of opinions are healthy in a relationship.  I like how most Tim Allen comedies have him married to someone of opposing political viewpoints. However... election time can highlight important character differences.  For example, I am someone that stands for those in need and victims.  Being with someone that doesn't care if others suffer would be an import...

I was answering questions in a group, today, and they asked what we wanted to be when we were young.  People put teacher, nurse, various superhero names, and I put cop.  Oddly, none of the accountants in our group put accountant, which is hilarious.  But, yeah... I watched all the Police Academy movies, wore a Miami Vice half sleeve shirt like Don Johnson, watched Magnum PI, Equalizer, Chips, Lethal Weapon, and many many other cop movies and shows.  Even as I have empathy, I've always had a need to balance it with justice for those wrong.  It would also inspire me to join the military and consider being a lawyer. Today, I was thinking of another threat from which people need protection... one that I think has slipped from modern minds, because the last big example of it is decades old.  Do you remember the Enron scandal?  Enron was a Texas company that hid its debt from investors.  When it collapsed, a HUGE number of retirement funds of older peop...

I was going to put it off, but I should do this blog post while the ideas and influences are still fresh.. having finished a couple influences related. I just finished Mort in the Terry Pratchett Discworld book series. As always, Terry's works are intricately woven tapestries of thought and plot.  There is never just one thought you can gain from reading it, but it helps you to think through things and develop logic skills.  Mort is on the surface the story of an apprentice of Death, buy it introduces or explores many other concepts.   One of those concepts is the power of our expectations and beliefs.  Death explained that people get what they expected in the afterlife, as it is easier that way.  Further, they talk about how the power of belief in gods makes them exist and not exist when not believed.. a concept also in Disney's Coco, as the person that passed worried no one would remember them to male them exist. Faith has the power to create.  When ...

As I enter into a highly prosperous present and future, I must reiterate that it was my own determination and actions that brought it about... not God.  And... I think that's God's plan.  Indeed.. I doubt very seriously if the hard, evangelical right would argue with me about that point.   After all, they have been watching my every hiccup like a hawk to see of God would FINALLY put me in my place... because I dared to question religion and point out the hypocrisy of his church.  Their worldview MUST have a "good" side and a 'bad" side, which typically is whatever side that differs than their own image or preference.  That's how diversity... different lifestyles or cultures than theirs .. becomes an evil thing that must be silenced and exiled.. or controlled. I've given them a lot of reasons to find me "evil" by defending witches, gays, trans people, opposing political parties, minorities and poor people.  So, my success, instead, must confu...

 I heard a good metaphor for risk, today.  I've talked about the concept of acceptable risk, before, and this falls into that category. Imagine you have a carton of eggs that you bought at the store.  You need to get them home.  There is NO options for zero risk to get them home.  You can reduce risk, but there may be bumps in the road or shifts in the car that could end up breaking a few eggs.  The only way to have no risk is to not buy eggs. I forget that people struggle with the idea of having to have risk, because my life has pretty much necessitated it over the last few years.  The only way I would have had no risk is to have given up jobs and residence and maybe moved into the house of a relative and even then would have only been a drain on resources.  I've routinely taken risky choices, and they have overcome one challenge after another, leading me to my current success.  Where I currently am set to thrive would never have happened if...

I'm tired.  This week has been a long month.  But, I want to put this put there on my blog. One of my playlists of this month has Demi Lovato singing " Sorry, Not Sorry " about not feeling bad that their success might upset those who rejected them or didn't give them the kind of support and faith that they deserved, when they had not reached their reward.   Well, I'm about 3 weeks into a very rewarding career plan that I've been heading towards for over 6 months... applied to the job in February, while still recovering face down after an eye surgery.  There's been a lot of friction on the path, but I stayed true.  In the last years, I've been rejected by friends, family, and even a spouse 4 years ago that all sized me up a failure to fit their prejudice instead of my history or actions towards them.  It did not matter that more often than not the reason I wasn't a financial success was sacrifices and choices that I made for them.  They followed th...

I was reading, today, about customer service, and the article was listing several different ways that people typically respond to conflict.  It was going along as I expected, and then it got to the bad option of accommodation.... yeah... that was my reaction, too.  I was like what is so wrong about accommodation?  But, the more that I read and the more that I thought about it, I realized that they were right. Accommodation sounds like a good thing.  After all, you are pleasing someone else for what they desire or want.  They would be happy.... right?  Not always and not necessarily for long.  When you accommodate someone, the message that you are sending is that you care more about someone's happiness than either the truth or rules and procedures.  A thief, for example, might be accommodating someone else that they want to pay.  And, if you are more interested in making someone happy, you might avoid telling them uncomfortable truths, which c...

Jesus.. as a literary and philosophical figure.. is quite admirable.  It's why so many over the centuries became believers IN SPITE of the church of their age... creating one protestant denomination after another in hopes that THIS one would FINALLY be like Christ.  That is, after all, what "Christian" was meant to mean.  I'm going to suppress my absolute disgust in the church to talk about what drew me to read about Jesus and later finish a Bible degree... from the university of Falwell of all schools... Liberty University.  Now, I'll also note that his own professors didn't often agree with his narrow political goals, either.  But... I digress. Napoleon once said (I'm NOT defending Napoleon), "Alexander, Cæsar, Charlemagne and myself founded empires. But on what did we rest the creations of our genius? Upon sheer force. Jesus Christ alone founded His empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men will die for Him." Ahhh... but that's th...

It shouldn't be an offense to choose a party that aligns with your personal choices.  My choices has not been secret.  I am rather loud about them, as many know... I don't mean politics as much as issues, though they are more and more directly aligned... thus my point, here.   I have spoken out to defend the LGBTQ victims from their bullies and attackers online for many, many years and have a child that falls in that category, who I will continue to defend, even if their mother works to turn them away from me.  I have written books about gay characters.  I have defended personal freedoms for gender, sex, expression, and have stood for diversity for many many years... or maybe my whole life.  I have opposed those that would tell others how to live their lives.  That overlapped into the conservative side for medical reasons for a while, but now those same people want to demand others be silent and obedient with the wishes of the majority.  I ha...

The journey towards happiness is a conscientious one.  It is intentional.  It doesn't just happen, and no one is waiting to give it to you.  Some might give you a moment of joy or a few, but it's not their responsibility for their life.  Everyone is born with the same responsibility... to care for themselves.  So, anyone that expects constant affirmation and mood lifting and gifts from others will eventually find the other person tired of violation of their responsibility for yours, if you are not giving back. So, how do you progress towards happiness.  I try to alternate in my blog between different things that helps from my experience.  I haven't experienced all kinds of loss or struggle, but I have established some principles that I believe are universal, and those are my focus, generally.  I tend to stay away from things percolating in my head, til I have established they are true.  True is a very good thing for me.. always has been....