Forward to Happiness

Do you know how change happens?  If you're like most people, you think it happens through conflict.  I've believed that, many times.  Don't get me wrong, there is a conflict element to it, as it happens.  But, conflict is not where the CHANGE takes place.  Change takes place as one person at a time just... changes.  Whether or not others criticize it is irrelevant.  Then, someone else sees your change and feels more willing to change...and so on and so forth. The thing is, though... they don't follow your example for your fight to be accepted.  They follow your example MOST when they see you happy and content.  Your critics KNOW this, because their biggest story about you to themselves and others is that you're unhappy if you are not married, Christian, straight, or any other variation from their prepacked existence.  Their biggest FEAR is not that you'll fail but that you'll succeed and be happy without the story, because that makes the...

 Last week's Silo episode touched on a concept that I have talked about in the past and one that I am living, today.  In the episode, one of the critics of the Silo had gone out of the episode and.... didn't die.  Were there risks, yes.  However, she learned that those running the Silo wanted her to fail and made sure that she did not.  I won't give any more than that, as I have not given anything that people that watch the show doesn't already know about those running the Silo.  However, it leads into my concept. In society, there are people that love to promote their worldview, and they will attack anyone that distorts that world view... and MOST OF ALL .. the will wish failure upon any of their critics that should not be successful in their worldview, because that shows others that they have the ability to free will... and that is a concept that many of them fear.  If there is no stick, why would they go for the carrot they dangle in front of them ....

I have had this post in my mind to do, but I felt it was incomplete and should come after I've fully risen.  But, that's not real, and it's not true to the message... so doing it, now. The holidays have been difficult for me for years, because I was spending too much of my focus on the past.  Without going into much details, I faced a series of difficulties that was out of my hands to prevent that would strip away family and connections that I had relied upon as a sense of identity.  If you feel it could never happen to you, that's how I felt for years, until it DID happen to me.   Bill Clinton sais on TV this last week, "There are no permanent victories or defeats."  He's lived both sides of that coin, and it's been true in my own life.  I have good memories from good times in different parts of my life in various stages.  At those moments, I felt as secure as Clinton would have in his 8 years as President and had only hope for the future.  ...

We are upon that time of the year when it's completely acceptable to pretend.  People pretend in holiday figures and stories.  For example, I shared a list of "Christmas" movies from Vogue over time to watch, and there was more emphasis on Santa Claus than religion.. Indeed, almost no holiday movie will ever mention Jesus, and that makes sense with as little historical connection to the once pagan holiday to a specific religious figure.  Don't get me wrong, I think it's great.  I'll watch holiday movies, go to holiday light displays, and I already have my tree lit.  My choosing to step away from judgmental Christianity will have no impact on me at all in celebrating a holiday more created by Coca Cola in modern society than any church.  Society also loves to pretend all is right in the world and that they care for those that are not, despite an election long attack on the very least of these they now say are worthy of holiday donations but not tax dollars....

 I remember having a conversation with a German student attending a college I attended, once, where he said sneaking out and drinking wasn't popular in Germany, because it was normal.  Yet, we were sneaking out to do it in my early teens.. among others things.  My first orgasm to be honest was standing around a bunch of other teens on the side of a dirt road looking at playboy and hustler magazines.  It's well known in movie plots that the woman goes for the "bad boy" and boys love the "bad girl".. both are plots in Grease for example.  Being forbidden makes us more interested in getting it.  And, that got me into two marriages that would be very bad for me, because someone objected to both. However, that can be a good thing, too.  When I was doubted and expected to fail, it lit a fire to overcome and succeed, even when... especially when.. the odds were against me. So, there's something to be said for having your hopes dashed.  It can be exactly ...

I spent way too long in the party of hypocrisy, defending their bipolar narcissist swings, but it's time they were called out on it. For example in the years after the Covid outbreak, the party would scream my body my choice about being free to decide what to do with their own bodies in being able to choose whether to get a vaccine.  Then, they switched to now wanting to stop people from choosing to TAKE the vaccine.  Similarly, they are now wanting to stop even adults from taking hormone blockers for transgender procedures (while having no problems with viagara to get it up for sex), stop women from reproductive health choices, and more. They also spent decades saying they don't have religious freedom, only to start mandating their version of faith upon everyone when they get into power.  They claimed state rights was supreme over federal power, til they got federal power.  Now, they want to stop states from defending college diversity programs, environmental protec...

The old phrase goes something like this.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Food me twice, shame on me.  Unfortunately, I have been shamed by extending what I used to call "unwarranted grace" to people way too often in my past, til I learned to learn from experience.  I'm getting much better at guarding my heart than I used to be and making wise choices to not trust those who have not earned it, though.  However, recent events show that much of society has not had enough bad experience to learn to do this.. but don't worry.. they will. I'm reminded of a scene in Wargames the movie, where the main character challenges Joshua (a supercomputer tied to Norad) to play Tic Tac Toe against itself.  People asked what he was doing,  and he said he was trying to get it to learn.  After doing so for several minutes, Joshua finally concluded the only winning move was not to play.   That's a great lesson for anyone that has not yet left a toxic narcissist...

 I shouldn't have to do this blog, but we are where we are in society because so many don't understand this concept... so I'll be basic. People often say they should have freedom to be themselves but then feel obligated to tell others what they should or should not do.  I'm always on the side of personal freedom and against restrictions on others.  If I don't like what their freedom looks like, I can always choose not to be in their sphere of influence.  That's how freedom works.   However, this also applies to personality choices.  In the last several months, I've had many tell me I shouldn't question things politically .. saying peace is more important.  While that is good advice for some in their roles in society, it would be a horrible thing for me to do in my job or many others in roles of justice, journalism, defense and more.  Many people serve a great purpose in questioning things and even causing conflicts to further free thought. I ...

 I wrote a book years back that focused on overlapping concepts between Christianity and witchcraft... noting that almost every concept in the church could be found in pagan principles still in use today, which is not surprising since most Christian holidays were set up historically on pagan holiday dates and traditions.  Ultimately, I stopped promoting that book when I lost faith in the church.. not Jesus or the gospels, necessarily.. tho the Bible's development and structure has much to question and almost all seminaries DO question it and reject much of it... a little known but entirely true process called hermeneutics.  I know.. I spent years in those classes.  But... I'm getting off topic. In that book, I wrote a couple chapters dealing with protecting your energy.  I don't fully accept the absoluteness of those words.. some intermixture of ideas, especially, is important.  However, not everyone is WORTH the effort you make for them... a lesson I learn...

I have been wrong.  I felt that we should push for unity.  I felt that the solution to the hatred of the politically right was to push for love and not answer them in like terms.   After all, that's what they always say after breakups... take the high road.  I felt that message would resonate with even Republicans and draw the party back from the extreme rhetoric and fascism being birthed.  I was wrong.  The Republican party STILL chose the hatred, defended the hatred, and repeated the hatred.  They still with a completely unconflicted conscience would tell you it was the CHRISTIAN thing to turn out immigrant mothers and babies to prison or send them back to the countries they escaped from brutality, to deny food assistance to poor mothers and children who were supposedly lazy or housing to the homeless, to attack children for changing their pronouns, and to defend a convicted felon who has been found guilty of rape in a civil case and openly brag...

 I've taken the day to reflect and refocus what will be my highest focus in the years to come, and as this blog is called Forward to Happiness, it must have a political theme after recent results.  I saw many online today claiming "America won"... and I tried with futility to enlighten why that was a false statement... so that is a point of education that must be intertwined, as well. What is America?  Is it the buildings in D.C.?  No.. from our founding, it was stated clearly that America is "we the people"... and that people is divided, and almost half of that people lost, last night.  It's not like over half will have "won".. either, as almost half of California votes have to be fully counted as well as other Kamala areas, so likely he will have failed to reach 50 percent of the vote for the 3rd time.  But, that's really irrelevant, anyway.  What is America?  We the people doesn't mean the MOST of the people.  It means ALL of the people....

There's a slight hope Harris will win, but my own observation so far makes it slight and unlikely.  So, I'm going to bed, but before I do there is several things that must be said and things that must be promised. First and foremost, if the right thought this would silence me or us, they are wrong.  Unlikely them that votes both FOR abortion and for Trump against abortion in Florida, for minimum wage in some states and for Trump against raising wages in others.. voting for high prices but for someonepromoting price tarrifs... our convictions are not trendy options we can set aside if you want power instead.  Ours are actually based on literal life and death and personal freedom. So... I will spend the next 4 years noting every single flaw and failure of Trump and every hypocrisy of Republican voters in Trump actions as he does them.  And, I better not hear one Republican tell me to be loyal after 4 years of them attacking Biden and Harris from before day one. Further...

"Know that they will be loved."  Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness I was going to just do a social media post, but it's blog worthy, as it teaches an important lesson.. albeit painful one on my behalf.  I thought I was just taking a break to watch the movie of the quote, above.  However, it had both political application and personal one.  I won't get into the political one on here.  This post is on the personal one.  And, looking back over the past week, I have been being prepared for it... in true Dr Strange like or divinity fashion. First... limited backstory, as I have already discussed it at various times and going over it, again, would not be appropriate for the lesson.  My ex in very harsh and deceptive and controlling fashion, as true to my entire experience of being with her controlling me and condemning me when I didn't go alone with her agenda, seized control of and lied to my children to turn them away from me... this, despite all...

I haven't done a personal update in a while.  There's certain parts of my life that need not be disclosed, but I do think it's worthwhile to not the other parts, because there's an awesome transition taking place, much like a few years ago when I had about 6 months of transition, as well.  You can generally tell from looking at my playlists.   I create them with guidance from within, and in periods of transition you'll see a lot of new songs and new themes that grow and dominate.. as has been happening for weeks, now. So, where to begin.  There are several new themes and foundational concepts that are driving me.   I do not feel the need to justify myself or even in many cases even explain myself.  I spent so much of my life doing that to people that would keep on judging me, anyways.  Further, they aren't "my people" that would understand me, anyways.. so why bother.  Let them go on with their happy delusion. I do not feel I should hide my e...