Charity

Charity is not about feeling superior.  It is not about getting enough back for what you give in return.  It is not about getting recognition for your organization or your faith or your family or whatever else there would be as your "side" or "people".. It is about need and a heart that cannot see a need without wanting to help.

I won't go into details, as I am making a choice to keep those details out of my social media or blog posts, but there is a reason that I am the age that I am without a huge savings.  In most of my life, I walked from helping one person in need to another... or multiple.  In almost all of those cases, I would find myself in time on my own, and often when my own need arose I would find myself without similar giving hands.  

However... does that mean that I regret what I did or gave?  Not in the slightest, because my choice to give was never based in what I received.  It was based in having love enough to give to someone that didn't deserve the fate they had been given or had a physical, psychological, or financial need.  Whether my giving was acknowledged with gratitude or would be seen by others as an attempt to control was beyond my ability to predict or manage and had NOTHING to do with the value of the giving.

At different times in my life, I have worked in non profits in a customer facing role.. not really one I am in currently, but I have been in that role.  I found that when you did things to help those in need, you were met oftentimes with anger and shame by the one receiving it.  I understand.  There have been times in my life that for different reasons I had to live on state benefits, and it took a lot of pride swallowing to accept the help.  This is routinely an adult reaction, as I have heard children cheer that they would have a meal, tomorrow.  But, to the adult, feeling like you have to rely on someone else can be an offensive thing and the giver a burden.

However... again.. does that mean that the giving should not be done?  No.  I recently read a meme that said what you give may not always be given back to you, but it will always be a reflection of how YOU are.  I'd say that I want to be a good person and do that, but the reality is that I know I am NOT always a good person.... and YET I still want to do that, partially because I know what it is like to live in shame and rejection and need.

Charity isn't about you or your organization or your reward or your acceptance.  It isn't about buying a ticket into heaven, and it isn't about paying for your sings.  It has nothing to do with YOU at all, other than simply... do you care enough to give.  And, that... these days.. is a lot more relevant question than it should be.