I will give this my best shot. I wanted to do a good piece for this weekend, and then wham.. spent most of the day fighting off a one day (hopefully) virus that left me without energy or clarity of mind to write something. Then, there was the periodic emotional waves that I had to allow to flow through and depart without action. It is important to feel the emotions and learn from them, but it is not good to let them direct you, always. But, this post is not going to be about my romantic past or future. It is only going to be about the greatest romance that you should ever have in your life... with yourself.
People will spend so much of their lives thinking about others and analyzing themselves to see how they can be a better version of themselves to please others. I know.. I lived like that way more years of my life than I care to admit. However, not only is that a misuse of time, it is also ineffective in the goal of finding others that will like YOU. How are they going to like you, if you don't even know who you are. How are they going to love you, if YOU don't love you. Thus, the romance that you have for yourself is the greatest romance, because it will not only be the most personal but will lead to all others.
The first step that you need to do is to learn about yourself. How often do you meet someone and ask curious questions to get to know them. I am generally an introvert, but I LOVE to get to know stories about others people. I hate group settings, but I love to sit in quiet settings and ask questions and tell stories and connect with people.. not just romantic but in all kinds of human connections. I have heard the most interesting stories and met the most interesting people that way. Even recently, I learned things about my own town and others that I had no idea about and would not if I stayed in my little bubble. That is why it is so important to make connections that are not like you. However, similarly, we cannot know what we like if we stay in the pre-determined lives given to us by others and do not challenge ourselves to explore. You also have to be willing to accept personal interests that are not popular or are even risque. But, whatever it is, you have to take the time to learn what you like and then love yourself for liking them.
Once you have taken the time to get to know yourself and love yourself, the next part is easy. All you have to do is shine. All you need to do is allow others to see the warm smile that you feel in being and doing what it is that you like to be and do. As you enjoy yourself and your life, that will attract others that also like those things, and it will turn off those that do not agree with your smile, thereby filtering out the wrong ones.
So, this Valentines, that is my own goal for myself and my wish for you. BE YOU and be happy in being yourself. LOVE yourself and others, and let the rest all work out around you as it should. Be your own valentine. You deserve the kind of love and acceptance that only you can give.
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