Happy Valentines to You

I will give this my best shot.  I wanted to do a good piece for this weekend, and then wham.. spent most of the day fighting off a one day (hopefully) virus that left me without energy or clarity of mind to write something.  Then, there was the periodic emotional waves that I had to allow to flow through and depart without action.  It is important to feel the emotions and learn from them, but it is not good to let them direct you, always.  But, this post is not going to be about my romantic past or future.  It is only going to be about the greatest romance that you should ever have in your life... with yourself.

People will spend so much of their lives thinking about others and analyzing themselves to see how they can be a better version of themselves to please others.  I know.. I lived like that way more years of my life than I care to admit.  However, not only is that a misuse of time, it is also ineffective in the goal of finding others that will like YOU.  How are they going to like you, if you don't even know who you are.  How are they going to love you, if YOU don't love you. Thus, the romance that you have for yourself is the greatest romance, because it will not only be the most personal but will lead to all others.

The first step that you need to do is to learn about yourself.  How often do you meet someone and ask curious questions to get to know them.  I am generally an introvert, but I LOVE to get to know stories about others people.  I hate group settings, but I love to sit in quiet settings and ask questions and tell stories and connect with people.. not just romantic but in all kinds of human connections.  I have heard the most interesting stories and met the most interesting people that way.  Even recently, I learned things about my own town and others that I had no idea about and would not if I stayed in my little bubble.  That is why it is so important to make connections that are not like you.  However, similarly, we cannot know what we like if we stay in the pre-determined lives given to us by others and do not challenge ourselves to explore.  You also have to be willing to accept personal interests that are not popular or are even risque.  But, whatever it is, you have to take the time to learn what you like and then love yourself for liking them.

Once you have taken the time to get to know yourself and love yourself, the next part is easy.  All you have to do is shine.  All you need to do is allow others to see the warm smile that you feel in being and doing what it is that you like to be and do.  As you enjoy yourself and your life, that will attract others that also like those things, and it will turn off those that do not agree with your smile, thereby filtering out the wrong ones.

So, this Valentines, that is my own goal for myself and my wish for you.  BE YOU and be happy in being yourself.  LOVE yourself and others, and let the rest all work out around you as it should.  Be your own valentine.  You deserve the kind of love and acceptance that only you can give. 

I Don't Know

This will be the most anticlimatic blog post that I have ever done, but I feel that it is among the most important.  We... ESPECIALLY bloggers and those in positions of influence.. feel the need to make conclusions about things and therefore to know what we need to know in order to do so.  However, how often in your life have you been fully confident of where you are, the choices you made to get there, or where you are going?  It has been my experience that by the time I reach five years in my life.. at any time.. I am so far beyond where I thought I would be 5 years ago that it is unrecognizable.  Moreso, I and how I am viewing things, is often very unrecognizable from the person that I used to be.

There is a favorite Doctor Who scene that I have often noted in my blog where the doctor is saying that we all change and are all different people than we used to be and that is good, as long as we remember who we used to be.  I like that, and it is very true.  I was who I was in those time in the past, and I am who I am in this time, as well.  People around us change.  Situations change.  Our convictions change.  Our situations change.  It doesn't make it less who we were at the time to have been those people, and we are no less ourselves in our current lives that we are living, either.

The fact of the matter is that we don't know what the future holds.  We can guess.  We can make plans off what we like and what we want.  But, my last years in particular have taught me over and over that what you expect to be true, even if everything around you seems to confirm it, may not necessarily be true in the future.  And, if it is not, it is not someone's fault.  It is just how things unfolded.  It may not be worse, either.  It is just that it is.

I have been watching a show called Buccaneers, recently, though what I am going to say about it can be echoed in many different other shows.  In this show, the romantic coupling keeps changing.  This episode, this woman was meant to be with this man, who was meant to be with this girl.  But, the next episode may have it that no... she was supposed to be with this other man, and he was supposed to be with this other girl.  In one episode this is the bad guy or girl for something, but the next episode changes the storyline on its head.  Some are of course toxic and objectively bad, but many are just.. well.. the kind of changes that happen as people feel out their emotions and determine which storyline is best for them all.  That... as messy as it is.. happens to be very true to who life tends to work out.

I don't want to make this purely about relationships, as this concept applies to many parts of our lives.  All I want to say with it and is important for you to know is that you WON'T know everything, and you WILL make changes in your life... and sometimes change back.  All you need to know is this.  The only constant is change, and it will all work out just fine.  You don't need to know how the story unfolds to read and enjoy it.  So, turn the chapter and keep learning where your story will go.