Safe and Secure

 I have been, am being, and will continue being proven right in my assessments and my responses.  As I've said several times, others will come around to seeing it and will continue to reject me even though I spoke the truth that now accept.  Story of my life.  The truth isn't often welcomed, even though it forms the core of my values.  I'm in a good job for that.

But, my point for this post is a tangent of that reality.  I'm driven to only accept objective truth, and I hate (strong word but chosen on purpose) those that promote lies to deceive people... and I see that moreso in religious circles than outside TBH.. but both applies.  I hate those that encourage hate of people for simply their choice to exist and live their lives by their choices.  I'm still not to my central point, though.

My point is this.  Consider what you need in your close connections and relationships.  The primary thing we need is feeling safe and valued.  If you don't have that, my experience is whatever you have will eventually end.  I have too much history of being attacked by those that I trusted for that safety for my inherent objective factual drive.  It doesn't matter whether they eventually agree.  That was never the point, and I'm ok with others holding different opinions.  But, if I have to risk losing connections every time I open my mouth in question or observation, a close relationship will never be possible.

So... I will be VERY cautious choosing who gets close to me and the closest will have to prove their support past their opinions, and I recommend you do the same

Stand

We have just accepted the idea that if someone gets 49 percent of the vote and the other side gets 47 percent that the higher number party must be given absolute authority to dictate their morals upon the 47 percent and that the 47 percent's opinions doesn't matter... their objections don't matter.. their values don't matter.  Even if the winning party had 51 percent that's stupid.  Even if they had 90 percent, that's stupid.  Everyone matters.  Everyone has value.  Everyone is entitled to freedom to live their lives their way in their homes, their beds, and to speak their minds.

The little country of Ukraine has been fighting for years against a much bigger Russia that has been determined to extinguish the county of Ukraine.  People have been saying it couldn't win against Russia.  Yet, years later, it is not only still surviving but is causing damage far inside Russia, itself.  Despite many globally saying they just needed to accept Russian rule, they are still free.  They are still relevant.  They still matter.

People have been telling LGBTQ people that they are evil and that they shouldn't have freedom over their own bodies to live their way with love for people they are banned from loving.  Yet... they exist.  They continue being their way, even with condemnation and the condemnation is less every year... just like happened to blacks, women, witches, and more.

I've faced a lot of unwarranted condemnation by the actions of a few that wanted me to be seen as evil and to fail and be rejected in life.  For a while, I fought against the false witness and struggles that they caused, trying to convince their audience that I had value.  Yet, I learned very clearly that those who judge you WANT to judge you, and nothing you do will change their perspective.  It's better to just improve your situation and happiness, often by distancing yourself from your doubters and definitely by not respecting their opinion more than your own.  If you know you are right or good, STAND... be happy in yourself.  Grow.  Become what you desire in absence of their validation.  They lost the right to be part of the success that they didn't believe in or support.  

Your mood is in your hands.  Your success is in your power to execute by taking concrete actions.  Your future has never been in the power of others beyond your choice to bend to others assessment of your life over your own.  So, fk them.  Rise, yourself.  And as they will for your downfall, stand laughing your Karma of success, they will be busy facing their own Karma of criticism, soon enough.

Single

I got in trouble a few years ago on a singles FB group for saying that being single doesn't mean broken or incomplete and one could be happy and single, alone.  Holy fire rained down on me, and I was eventually expelled from the group for holding that position... even if it is not only true but much healthier than being with someone only because you are not respecting or loving yourself and need someone else to give it to you.  Trust me from experience that path will lead to disaster and back to where you began.

In both of my marriages, there was a similar problem.  I was giving an insane amount of effort and romance to someone who felt their only necessary participation was to receive it.  My beginning of asking for them to contribute was the end of the relationship, and it should have been a conversation much earlier, before I got so invested.

The flip side makes a very strong case.  When I was single before marriage, between marriages, and after, I focused on my own success and was happy and thriving.  When I was in a relationship, I literally was drained of my success built up prior and criticized and attacked by the very ones who took it all from me.

I'm not saying there cannot be a good relationship, and I hope others find it.  But, my lifelong experience tells me that the odds of a happy and prosperous life are much higher on my own, and even though I keep my eye open to a good match I'm less willing to surrender that foundation, unless I see something different than a half century to this point.

So.. I repeat.  Single doesn't mean broken or incomplete.  It doesn't mean you are failing the world by being a "single cat lady" either.  It may mean you have found your happiness without needing it to come from another, and that is quite an achievement in this world, today.

Election Red Flags

I think this needs to be said, and it is definitely related to happiness.

I've said before in my discussion of the value of darkness that conflicts and open speaking of uncomfortable topics is necessary and beneficial to increase public consideration of ideas that maybe they would not consider, otherwise... and thus elections were good for that reason.

It's also good to expose the true beliefs of politicians that would rather not have their illusions challenged.  However, I also think it important when consideration of potential mates and dates.

Now... I do not believe in only dating one party, and some disagreements of opinions are healthy in a relationship.  I like how most Tim Allen comedies have him married to someone of opposing political viewpoints.

However... election time can highlight important character differences.  For example, I am someone that stands for those in need and victims.  Being with someone that doesn't care if others suffer would be an important thing to know.   Similarly, I support LGBTQ rights is important to me.  Someone that thinks they all deserve hell or wants them silenced would never work with me.  Election time is likely the only time I'd come to know their true opinions, separate from the image they showed to try to get me.

So... I like election times for the ability to understand the true character of others, apart from what religion they choose or what statements they say at holidays.  Do they really give to the poor, or would they leave them on their own.  All of these are important things to understand.

Protected

I was answering questions in a group, today, and they asked what we wanted to be when we were young.  People put teacher, nurse, various superhero names, and I put cop.  Oddly, none of the accountants in our group put accountant, which is hilarious.  But, yeah... I watched all the Police Academy movies, wore a Miami Vice half sleeve shirt like Don Johnson, watched Magnum PI, Equalizer, Chips, Lethal Weapon, and many many other cop movies and shows.  Even as I have empathy, I've always had a need to balance it with justice for those wrong.  It would also inspire me to join the military and consider being a lawyer.

Today, I was thinking of another threat from which people need protection... one that I think has slipped from modern minds, because the last big example of it is decades old.  Do you remember the Enron scandal?  Enron was a Texas company that hid its debt from investors.  When it collapsed, a HUGE number of retirement funds of older people and more lost huge sums of their money.  Similarly, a man named Bernie Madoff schemed thousands of people out of money in a ponzi scheme and defrauded accounting.

The trend of late is to attack the government as bad and desire less of it.  However, these and others in my mind show it might, actually, need to be expanded.  I've put some government links to things you already use on the side panel of my blog, but the defense of people from those that would cheat to get rich at the expense of others is also a very worthy cause.  And, I'm very glad to support it.

Believe.. Create

I was going to put it off, but I should do this blog post while the ideas and influences are still fresh.. having finished a couple influences related.

I just finished Mort in the Terry Pratchett Discworld book series. As always, Terry's works are intricately woven tapestries of thought and plot.  There is never just one thought you can gain from reading it, but it helps you to think through things and develop logic skills.  Mort is on the surface the story of an apprentice of Death, buy it introduces or explores many other concepts.  

One of those concepts is the power of our expectations and beliefs.  Death explained that people get what they expected in the afterlife, as it is easier that way.  Further, they talk about how the power of belief in gods makes them exist and not exist when not believed.. a concept also in Disney's Coco, as the person that passed worried no one would remember them to male them exist.

Faith has the power to create.  When we believe in ourselves or others, we act.  When we do not, we die.  If we expect more or demand more, we get more.  If we accept less by others that want to ignore us or hold us down, we let them dictate our own misery.

Believe.. especially when doing so pisses off others.  Reach.  Try.  Go.  Rise.  Fuck the critics.  They don't deserve to be part of the story when you achieve.  Whether you reach the highest goals is irrelevant.  You will achieve the most you can reach, and the rest of the story will write itself.

Successfully Un "Blessed"

As I enter into a highly prosperous present and future, I must reiterate that it was my own determination and actions that brought it about... not God.  And... I think that's God's plan.  Indeed.. I doubt very seriously if the hard, evangelical right would argue with me about that point.  

After all, they have been watching my every hiccup like a hawk to see of God would FINALLY put me in my place... because I dared to question religion and point out the hypocrisy of his church.  Their worldview MUST have a "good" side and a 'bad" side, which typically is whatever side that differs than their own image or preference.  That's how diversity... different lifestyles or cultures than theirs .. becomes an evil thing that must be silenced and exiled.. or controlled.

I've given them a lot of reasons to find me "evil" by defending witches, gays, trans people, opposing political parties, minorities and poor people.  So, my success, instead, must confuse them.  Every other day, I see people say that GOD will deliver and prosper them.  Most, actually, live lives with as much challenge that I face or more.  I chose, instead, to follow a logical path that says... well... to get to this destination I need to walk (myself) in that direction by doing A, B, C, etc.  Then, when I get there without the sky falling on me, they have to either say I should thank God for the results of my logical actions that brought it about or that the "devil" brought it about... because if MAN is responsible for their own lives, they would have a lot to answer for and a lot to do.

In the end of The Adjustment Bureau, the divine like figure rewrites "the plan" that had tried to separate them, because the couple chose to do it, anyways... and the movie concluded that maybe that was the plan, all along.. that we take responsibility for our own lives.

So.. hopefully, my life will serve as inspiration that if you're tired of praying without results that maybe "God" is waiting for you to make decisions and take actions in your own life... and thank yourself that you had the wisdom and will to finally be a mature human.