Forward to Happiness

2023... wow. And, I thought 2020 was rough. But, I learned a lot. Without going into specific situations and people, I'll just go through the lessons I learned over the year, before I go into my hopes for the year to come. - Don't make career or job choices to satisfy what you think others want or to attract someone else. Remember that your critics are choosing to be your critics. What I've discovered over the years and this year is that many will fault you for doing a good or worthy task imperfectly, while they will congratulate and praise someone for doing a poor job, if they want have that person in their lives more than you. You won't impress your critics by doing more, and those that you attract would be more interested in the image and what they can gain from you in those position more than you, yourself. - People are driven by hormones. No matter how nice someone is, it comes down to what you are designed to want. You can suppress attraction to maintain ...

 Hope is hard.  I think I said that in a past post.  It sounds nice in Christmas carols or pillow stitch patterns.  But, when you actually need hope, it is one of the hardest things to muster.  Hope isn't faith.  To lend my theological training to the moment, faith is concrete.. you know what you want and expect specifically how it will come about.  Hope, on the other hand, is not based on specifics.  It is more like having faith in faith.  It is the belief that good things CAN and will happen, even if you don't know what they may be or how they may look... or what changes in your life will be required to get you there.  Faith is easy. You can see the potential of success.  Hope requires courage. It requires  something that escapes me, many days.... expectation that not only does good exist but that it will happen to YOU. But, you don't find hope in joyful celebrations.  Those come after the hope has been realized.  Y...

 I had the idea for this blog post for like a week, but it didn't feel right time.  Feels ok, now, though. So, I think there exists this thing called instant Karma.  I don't mean that someone that did someone bad suddenly faces bad, though the videos out there for that are awesome.  What I mean is natural consequence.  The more I reflected on it, the less stressed I am over other people that reject you or don't get you. Here's the deal...  We don't have to do anything, and we don't even have to think about it.  It will happen on it's own. If someone is nice to you, they will get more of you. If someone does bad things to you, they will get less of you.  If you are nice to people, you will probably get more friends.  I learned that over the years, and some of my closest friends are those of which I used to have loud debates... but always circled back because in my opinion care for someone doesn't ever really go away.  It is just either sh...

 I have been working overtime... literally, like 60-70 hours a week.. to walk a fine line in my budget to cover my necessary expenses in the 3 weeks post surgery that I cannot work, due to the fact that I have to be face down for the bubble that will be in my eye.  Then... Sunday, we had a huge thunderstorm during dinner delivery time.  Monday, I had three people ghost me at the meeting point for something that I was trying to sell, taking up delivery time.  Then, today, Ubereats had a national app bug that took out at least all lunch time.    This would be a major setback in my planned surgery.  But... luckily, last night I began to realize that I just couldn't be running on steam like that and was vulnerable to.. well.. this... unexpected things that could affect the budget.  So, I contacted my doctor and asked for a delay in my surgery for a couple weeks.  They agreed, and poof.... my budget problems go away, as I can access the 1,100...

Over my life, I’ve made more, and I’ve made less.  One thing that I’ve come to understand is that wealth is an illusion.   Even this year.. I didn’t have the money to do if, but I did some meetup events and met a lot of people with money.  And… they all complained about how much they struggled with expenses.  Of COURSE they did.  Just in those few months, I felt the pressure by the groups .. hey, we have THIS to do or THAT.  You’re coming, right?  And, people did it, because they wanted to fit in… to have “friends”.. even if that friendship only lasted as long as their bank account to do things with them an no further. The Bible says increase seeks increase.  It’s never enough.  So, they do more and more and have the same few real connections.  So.. what are they paying for?  Ego.  That’s why rich people want to be seen for donations and charity work.  If they don’t have an audience, it serves no purpose for HAVING money. ...

 I realized that there is something else that I understand that has not made it to the blog, so I am doing this to correct that.  Today, I was doing some ubereats deliveries, as I often do.. and someone messaged me a complaint, which is rare.  However, her message and the situations is a perfect lead into this topic.  She said, "What is taking so long.. another half hour?"   First of all, it wasn't a half hour but 16 minutes till I would arrive to bring her food, but people that have that kind of tone generally aren't operating within reason.  But, the fact is that she ordered 8 items from a small Japanese restaurant, which is already a slow type of restaurant to have food prepared when I arrive, and I had to wait for it to be completed.  Then, she ordered near rush hour and the path from the store to her house would take me through one of the most congested traffic areas in general, and this evening was even moreso.  So, she ordered a long p...

 I should’ve done this post a long time ago, since it’s something that I personally practice.  I learned many years ago that the right nutrients can make you feel better and happier and the loss of them can make you feel incomplete.  It takes an emotional affect, as well.  Sometimes, you may feel like you are down about things or struggling, when all you need to do is eat something and take a vitamin or mineral.  So, I want to go over some of my own things I take and why. B E D - it’s a funny little combination of letters into a word, but if you take B vitamins by themselves or in a multivitamin combined with vitamin E and D .. you get a peaceful rest and are less anxious over things.. but I’d take B early in the day, so it doesn’t affect sleep. Calcium, Magnesium, Zinc with D - this is a way to get that D as well, but I break up the daily supplement amount to spread over the day.  It helps with eye calmness, too.  Plus, Zinc helps with colds, but i...

 I know it’s very off trend, especially in this time before holidays.  But, you can be happy as a single person.  Am I suggesting that forever?  No.  But, bowing to pressure to be a couple is the story in part of how I ended up with two bad matches for my emotional needs.. my 2nd ex was literally proposed to at Christmas. I am very slowly building up this blog into a vision I have in my head without the time to focus on it, so it will take some time.  But, while I will include some elements that the romantic will like, I plan to also include a roadmap to happiness if you remain single.  I may be in that camp, for all I know.   You can be single and be happy.  You can buy yourself flowers as Miley says.  You can sexually satisfy your self as Inna and Hailee Steinfeld sing and of which Emma Watson calls being “self partnered” in Vogue . It has taken me years to get to the point of being confident that I can be happy single to wait til it f...

I am taking time from my playlist listening.. new playlist, listen here .. to do a post.  I won't have time to do more blog format work till Sunday.  I'm in a work cycle connected to a surgery coming that is sucking up all my time in work to cover expenses.  But, I wanted to take a moment to do this post.... short one, but I think needed.  Most of my posts are philosophical, but here's a practical one. I know you are feeling overwhelmed at times.  It is only magnified in the holidays.  But... Here's to us, as Halestorm sings.  You are doing a great job and are to be celebrated just for taking a step forward and believing in hope.  I know it seems dark, and I know you feel tired.  Don't judge your days based on whether you can escape that.  Struggle against darkness and striving for success is the same steps, only with a different perspective. Just keep going.  Breathe.  Look for happy moments or make them.  Expect your lif...